Alcoholism Support Group

Alcoholism is the continued consumption of alcoholic beverages, even when it is negatively affecting your health, work, relationships and life. If you think alcohol is causing you to lose control, it's time to seek help. Our group is a safe place to vent, check in, get back up if you fall, and reach sobriety.

4,518 Members
34,168 Posts
1 Online
Addiction & Recovery
/ Alcoholism Support Group

Here again....

momarae
momarae

 I found this support group very long time ago and the people here encouraged me to attend my first meeting-  I stayed sober for 2 1/2 years .  I was pretty happy for the most part . 





 I got pregnant with my second child and halfway through my pregnancy started feeling very uncomfortable .  I suffer from anxiety as well so it was hard to tell if it was hormones, anxiety  or what .  I wasn’t enjoying meetings anymore I was aggravated with my sponsor,  I was happy about my new baby . 



 Three weeks after my baby was born I convinced myself and my husband that  I was completely fine, and I just wanted to be normal and have a glass of wine here and there  like everybody else.  Well almost 4 years later ,  two bottles of wine every other night ,  blackouts ...  seems pretty logical when you say it like this ????   But why can I NOT come to the acceptance that I’m an alcoholic ????



 I’m open to any suggestions from you guys about acceptance ( or anything else)  bc  I know if I don’t get that acceptance part  -  I got nothing.  Speaking from my past two years of sobriety bc I never really “acccepted”...that I was an alcoholic... Even though I went through the steps and all...



 Anyhow I know this is a great place to be thank  you guys in advance for your help xo 

mr702
mr702
I am new to this. My soul knows I am an alcoholic, but my mind and body don’t.
That is where the battle is with me.
momarae
momarae
Yup ... same battle .. and it becomes a spiritual matter where your at a crossroad ( for me) at what point am I ready to surrender to what I know can be a beautiful life beyond words yet I’m afraid to give “this” up? Sounds pretty stupid as I say it out loud
mr702
mr702
I completely understand. It is messed up that a liquid holds so much power to ones reality. That little devil has hooks in me, even though I am not drinking today I am fighting not to.
Trying to keep my mind quit and focused on now.
I think saying things out loud helps.
Making bad and good things real help us solidify what and who we want to become.
Community Leaderbobinmaine
bobinmaine
This guy says it perfectly:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GIq87qCZppM

God Bless
momarae
momarae
Yes mr702 - it’s already helped to say things out loud... calms the demons...

I’m doing the same...

And by the way I remember you from way back on here @bobinmaine.. I was under
Raeclear

Thx again ya’ll it’s nice to feel the support

I will check out the utube out in a bit - taking my kidos out to play ... hopefully that should be some good TLC (hopefully not a stressor-lol :)
jeffneedshelp
jeffneedshelp
You didn’t really go through the steps if you didn’t surrender at step 1. That’s nothing that you can put on paper or share with someone. You have to feel licked by it. You have to have completely acceptance.

You must want to be a better mom for your baby. I’m sure you want to be a better wife.

AA worked for me, but I was licked and tired of letting down my family when I walked in the rooms. I’ll have 5 years in September, one day at a time.

Perhaps there’s something else that can help you.
1is2many
1is2many
The nature of my personality was to never surrender , never , ever, ever... that is what kept me drinking for many more years until I was just a shell of a person. I was dead inside and my mind didn’t understand the liquid I was drinking was killing me not just the SoCial drinker I wanted to be.

Honestly it took me finally deciding to seek help. That was how my journey began. The mere act of asking for help is the beginning. I thought I was able to handle anything, but that thinking kept me on the nipple of the bottle.

Also alcohol IS a drug, it is addictive. It’s more addictive than heroin and I would honestly say this is true because I’ve been there done that and alcohol is sold on every corner and very sterilized and romanticized. In all honesty it’s just a drug at the end of the day and I was hooked. It is a miracle I don’t drink today. Really

1is2many
momarae
momarae
Thanks all- much appreciated and I agree that I didn’t properly do the steps since I never truly came to a acceptance, and khow necessary it is now to do so.

I’m literally sick to my stomach with guilt and just feel like shit! Day 2

Best
jeffneedshelp
jeffneedshelp
Rae, we all know that feeling. But don’t look back! It sounds like you have the right mindset to plow ahead with greatness. Welcome back!
momarae
momarae
Thank you all so much !!

I’m getting ready to find a local meeting for the first time in a long time ...just read some big book passages... it’s amazing how it instantly makes you feel a bit better... and how horribly Lonley I have been feeling with all of this.. thank you again to all that responded... it means a lot!
1is2many
1is2many
HALT
dont get hungry angry lonely or tired. They will lead you back into the bottle. Be bold and go get sober. I was a weak little shell and I found a group that helped me to 1) stop drinking and 2) be happy sober so I dont have to go back.
You can too! Cmon!
1is2many
stepone
stepone
I like what Jeff said "plow ahead with greatness." I'm stealing that one. Anyways, when I was on the fence about admitting I was an alcoholic and whether or not to go to AA, someone told me to read Bill's Story in the BB and underline everything I could relate to. Almost the entire chapter was underlined ultimately. I had mixed emotions b/c now I knew I was an alcoholic but I didn't know if I could or wanted to stop drinking. Here's this guy from a completely different era, geography, profession, age etc....who's mind worked like mine. I heard there were others in the meetings w/similar defects who had found a solution. I went. I listened. I didn't drink after. I went again the next day. I'm glad you are back in the BB. I have no doubt the book is a miracle created for me and you. Our solutions are in that book. How lucky are we? Good luck to you.
Kevin105
Kevin105
Some good comments already, so I'll just add that I'm so glad you're back in recovery for your child, your husband and yourself. Please forget about the past, the guilt and/or shame is just wasted energy. I relapsed after nearly a year's sobriety and did that very thing. Now looking back I realize that it just wasn't my time because I had one more important lesson to learn that somehow alluded me: that I was powerless over alcohol and drugs and that was never going to change. Ever! Wishing you the best in your new life and please keep us posted!
Comhar
Comhar
I'm glad your getting yourself back on track I struggle with this too to accepting it means to me letting go of the notion that maybe someday I will be able to just not now to help me push past it. never telling myself never is good in the moment but sometimes it helps me hold on to someday it might be okay there's somewhere in this process I believe I will just realise I'm happy like this and never might just be happening I can't force it I don't think, I will just hope. I'm going to do the work and hopefully along the way I will get there.
wishing you all the best !
Posts You May Be Interested In