being a lot like your mother and being brand new to recovery all I can say is that your mom needs to get help if she wants to become healthy. but also she needs your support and love. if she won't quit for herself have her quit for you. be there to help her. maybe attend meetings together. that would work for me.

She lives in another State now, with my Aunt and Uncle. In the beginning I was the one that called the Family to ask her to get help. And after she left rehab she went to live with them to get a fresh start. She drank and drove with my 5 year old daughter in the car and I just couldn't take it anymore. We have tried the quitting for me thing and the quitting for my daughter thing. She needs to do this for herself now or its not going to work.

My Aunt called me and talked to me a few minutes ago. Apparently she is having a hard time with school and missing me and my daughter. She caught her drinking in the basement last night. She has stopped going to AA and just felt that she didn't need support anymore, easy peasy right? Wrong. So I guess she is going back to AA and she is going to get a sponsor. My Aunt won't let her live in their household unless she does, they are signing a contract tonight after work.
It is very hard for me because for the first time in my life I felt peace with this. I could sleep again and not be up all night worrying about where she was, what she was doing, was she drinking? Was she dead in a ditch somewhere? Yes, I am 31 and I still do this. She was all I had growing up, my Dad was absent. She is my best friend. I am going to call her tonight and give her all the support I can. I guess all I can do is keep faith that she can do this and cry to someone other than her. Thank you for your help and support.

Good luck to you. And God Bless.

i'm sorry about your disappointment, i have a feeling calling you with such news was very hard for her to do. i guess she thought it was better than hearing it from your aunt.i've only been 19 months and both my kids grew up knowing i was a drunk. did that stop me ? nooooo! she can only do this for her self. you are NOT responible for her disease, no more than you are responisble for her soberity.... good luck and keep your chin up maybe try some al-anonmeetings for your on health and peace of mind...that comes from within love,

My friend, I've been in AA for over 20 years, and what I'm going to tell you isin't going to be easy to hear; but please listen closely. First, DO NOTHING FOR HER! You didn't get her drunk again - she did that to herself. And you can't get her sober - all you can do is either enable her by doing what you felt like doing ( ie. "it's ok, etc.") or actually HELP her by forcing her to look at what she did and MOST IMPORTANTLY face the consequences of it! This is a selfish program - the drunk MUST do this for themselves. What you CAN do FOR YOURSELF is begin to attend Alanon meetings to learn how her disease has affected ( and influenced ) YOUR life! I know this isin't easy; I told you it wouldn't be - but neither is sobriety, and she's obviously already chosen the "softer,easier way". Don't you make the same mistake. God Bless you both. Rusty22

Please call her and explain to her why you are hurting. It is apparent that you care very deeply for her. Get over your selfishness and thinking that she has to quit for you and your daughter. She cant quit for you or any one else she has to do it for her. Advise her to get to a meeting or call her counselor that she had in recovery and talk. Ask her why she felt she had to drink. Being caring and considerate because right now she feels bad enough about what she has done she dont need beat up. Just be kind and loving and let her know you are there for her to talk to. You may want to consider some alanon meetings for your self to help you deal with the problems you suffer from due to being the child of an alcoholic. This is a family disease and affects the whole family.

Overworked, I know she has to do this for herself. That's what I keep telling her when she said that she is going to do it for me or my daughter. I told her that SHE had to WANT to do it, not feel like she's been forced to do it. I don't feel that I am being selfish in any way. My whold life used to revolve around her and her drinking. It was only recently that I woke up and realized that I needed to change that.
I called her 3 times yesterday to talk and she wouldn't answer the phone so I am gong to let it be. I know how hard it was for her to call me and admit that, she just chose the wrong time to do it. All of you are right and I REFUSE to enable her anymore. When I do talk to her I will show support but I will also reinforce the boundaries we set up at the beginning. She knows that if she is going to be drinking that she is not allowed around my daughter or in my home. That may seem harsh but my Mom isn't a weekend drinker. She is trashed from the moment she wakes up until she passes out at night.
My Aunt said that she is back on track, which I hope she is. But I can't act as if nothing happened. Thank you for all of your replies. Oh and I have been attending Alanon for many many years. So I know the ins and outs, but my heart cannot be "put" under control as easily as my mind can! I react, then I think. I have tried to change that about myself and now I just accepted the fact that it is just one of those personality traits that will never go away completely! Oh well, we can't be perfect.