Alcoholism Support Group
Alcoholism is the continued consumption of alcoholic beverages, even when it is negatively affecting your health, work, relationships and life. If you think alcohol is causing you to lose control, it's time to seek help. Our group is a safe place to vent, check in, get back up if you fall, and reach sobriety.
Hi all. This is my first post in this forum. My long term
boyfriend is an alcoholic and had his second relapse last night
bit of a background. He worked as a bartender up til two months ago. He drank at all times of the day because he would start twitching otherwise. It was a problem that has been going on for years before I came into the picture. Anyway, he got trashed at work and fell and hit his head and obtained a brain bleed/injury. He also then had a seizure in the ER. He was fired and stayed with me these last two months and has been great and clean and running and eating healthy.....he went back home two days ago to attend three new job interviews (one of them a bartending position wtf) and last night I caught him drinking. I know this because of how he was talking on the phone.
Anyway. I need help dealing with his relapses. I'm ready to give him an ultimatum because he doesn't believe he needs AA or therapy of any kind. I want to stay with him no matter what because for many reasons I know he's the one for me, but he needs to know enough is enough . I'm hurt and he won't listen. He swears up and down he chooses me and his health over alcohol but clearly that is not happening. Any advice? Anything? Thank you....
if you want more details just ask, I'm at work and desperate for help or advice of any kind so I revived this account right before I clocked in lol. Ugh.
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Forcing him there won't do anything. If losing his job and being hospitalized isn't his rock bottom, you leaving him might be.
An ultimatum may be in order. But you have to be ready for that to really happen.
Keep us informed. I'm glad you came here. You're not alone.
If your boyfriend is indeed an alcoholic, he will probably make many promises to you and those promises are likely to be sincere. However, it is also likely that every one of them will eventually be broken. Nevertheless, he can also choose to get sober and you could have a good life together. I would urge you to be cautious before making any long term commitment.
You cannot make your boyfriend sober and unless he wants sobriety for himself, he will probably continue to relapse. Alcoholism is a progressive condition so his drinking is likely to get much worse. If you decide to stay with him, I would urge you to seek out Al-Anon meetings in your area. There, you will find support and can draw on the experience of other people who are dealing with a similar problem.
It looks like your boyfriend is in denial about the extent of his problem and that is quite common as nobody likes to admit that they have lost control over alcohol. Maybe he would benefit from reading the Big Book (Alcoholics Anonymous).
I will pray for you.
God Bless
G.
You are brave to stay with a drunk! His problems w alcohol run his life. Do you wish to go down in flames raising children w him as a father and still drinking? Drunks are under the delusion that they are not alcoholics. Then another delusion that they are different and can continue drinking!
Sorry but alanon family groups in phone book or YP.com will help you set boundaries seek to save yourself in alanon especially of course if you stick w him!
1is2many
I suggest you read the section in the AA big book called "to wives". It's helpful.