Yes, as I was making an amends to someone from here, he in turn made one to me saying that it was both of us who played a part in the problem. So, we started working on the solution instead. It was a good thing. I haven't done any f2f amends yet, but, so, um, yeah. (o;

Love ya though. You want to practice with me? We can fight and then kiss and make up. lol. I think practice amends should be a part of the steps!!!

Actually my wife, who I left last weeks, is apparently making one to me right now, we'll meet and talk in person Monday, should be interesting.

Darkhair,

In the last few weeks I made amends to a handful of friends from college/high school. I got acceptance from all of them. They ALL said they harbored no ill will and they are just glad I have gotten sober. Some of their comments even made me cry.

I would have been satisfied with an "It's okay;" but I got so much more. The key was to have simple expectations.

Melanye

My Mum (who is not alcoholic) made an amend to me for the stuff she did when I was a kid - it totally blew me away. I had never expected or even hoped for it.

I got one today at lunch and made one too. I felt bad about my part in it but both of us are a little stronger for it. It's very fulfilling!!!!

My Mother and I both almost called it quits for good. I struggled for almost a year debating whether to ever speak to her again. It seems she was going thru the same thing on her end towards me. I finally decided I could not live a life happy with that decision without some sort of attempt at healing. I wrote her a simple note that was extremely difficult for me because I was still in the victim mode. I simply wrote: Please forgive me.
She called me and we talked, cried and made vows. A few days later I received this card from her that said the following:
Dear Kathleen,
I want so badly reconcile with you.
I miss you so much and I love you.
If at any time I have inadvertently hurt your feelings, I ask your forgiveness.
If at any time I have harmed you by the things I've done or failed to do, I ask your forgiveness.
If I have neglected or abused you, I ask your forgiveness.
If I have been a disappointment to you, I ask your forgiveness.
I want to have a loving relationship with you and to attain that I will do whatever is necessary.
Please help me!
I need your forgiveness!
Love,
Mom

Making amends is a most wonderful feeling of peace and joy.
Receiving one like this one from my Mother was a pure blessing that this alcoholic's very soul needed.
Believe it or not though, I still found fault with it. Gawd....not any more, though.
Making amends can be very difficult because we have to leave out our feelings of justification(s) for our actions and take complete and unbridled ownership of what we have done no matter the reason.
Some amends are easy. Some are extremely difficult.

I make amends but I have never had anyone make amends to me personally, I use to get so pissed off about that, but then again I was surrounded by very sick people so now I don't expect it. It is more important that I make my amends the other's if they don't they will probably drink again anyway.

Sounds more like "apologies" and "reconciliations" here rather than what I have been taught an amend is about. My oldtimers taught me it is making change for the better and so therefore as the people around me feel better because I no long live out the "isms" of my alcoholic disease then I suppose we are in a constant state of ammending our lives. The only thing that doesn't change is that everything changes. Blessings to all.

Yes, the way I was sponsored showed me there is a big difference between an AA formal Step 9 amend (from my Step 8 list) and any other type of reconciliation or apology.

No other alcoholic has had to make a formal amend to me but when I made my formal Step 9 amends I received quite a few apologies from the people I was making amends to.

I make amends to the people i have hurt through my drinking.

yes. I was making amends to my 1st exh and at the end of the conversation, he made amends to me. I know we both feel better.

Confused....just what then is an amends if not an apology, and 'how can I make this right', etc?