Hi Chris

I remember one of the first times I shared I was in rehab and it was compulsory to go to AA meeting 6 days a week and Sunday if you wanted I did.

I must have been pretty vain because one night i wrote out this speech of what I would say if asked .We had two AA meeting a week at the Hospital i was in and we used to get a big crowd Tuesday Nights.

Well this particular Tuesday night the chairperson ask me to share I jumped out of my seat walked to the front and when i turned around and seen all the people the speech went out the widow and I think I was lucky to get out My name is Lionel I am an alcoholic.

So my sponsor at the time just told me in future before i go to a meeting to make up my mind if i was going the share if ask or not. But if I was ask just to stand were I was and say No not tonight Thanks My name is Lionel I am an alcoholic. then sit down.

That got me used to standing in front of people and saying something.And don't worry about what others think your there for you. People who matter don't mind and people who mind don't matter.

Also if you have a Higher Power before you share just take a second and ask you HP to guide you.

Two meetings your going well my sponsor also told me why do you think God gave you two Ears and one Mouth to listen twice as much as you speak.

Also Welcome to the DS Alcoholism Support Group

God Bless...

Lionel

hugs for attending that second AA meeting...my second was 9yrs after my first...that is a little too long a wait. LOL

hi chris

i,m the same and i,ve been inand out 9 yrs. i find i can share better in small meetings.

good luck and god bless

Hey, Chris. :) I've been going to the same meetings with the same people for almost 8 months and didn't share until 3 weeks ago. I knew that when the time came for me to share, the words would come; in the meantime, I just listened. And listened. And listened. And I learned so much. I continue to listen and only speak if I am so moved. There are many of us who are uncomfortable speaking in groups, and that's okay. But we are all united by a common thread. Just keep going to your meetings, keep absorbing everything you can, and when you DO feel moved to speak, let it flow. There may be someone there who needs to hear your message.

Hi Chris, I like what Lionel mentioned about asking HP for guidance before you speak, and just going with the flow. Near the rehab I went to there's a Christian 'Spiritual Concept' meeting that always got my emotions moving. Never even get my bum in the seat before I'd be a sobbing mess.

It was and is the most beautiful and moving AA meeting I've ever been to. My sponsor also asked me to speak whenever asked, and I did. No matter how scared and shaky and bumbling I was, always felt better when I sat back down. I'd encourage you to give it a go Chris, even just to get up and say G'day. :}

I think you're doing great! Im sure what you shared was applauded and understood by the others.... they have been there. IMO the key is to be honest, then it doesn't matter what you say, it's the right thing.

Sharing was difficult for me, too. It is for a lot of people. A long time passed before I eeked a word. Kinda funny... you could hear a pin drop in the room.... maybe my imagination. I tried hiding the best I could, but they always found me... pretty sweet of them really. Being called on is still like being struck by lightning for me, but after I started to eek, I kept eeking and now I can't remember the last time I passed.

Thank you all for your great advice and support! I'll try to share in the next meeting and we'll see what happens.

I found it very hard to share at meetings in early sobriety, mostly because I was starting to realize that about 80% of what I remembered never happened at all.

Hello Chris,

At the first meeting I could barely say my name and although some people think that I only joke about it, the truth is that at the second meeting I was not even sure what my name was any more. By the time the third came along I was determined to say something. I sat and looked around at all of those people and wondered how they could talk about themselves like that. Then I took out a piece of paper and read out what I wanted to say, as that was the only way that I could do it. After that night I never looked back. I have since done plenty of Top Table talks and I no longer get nervous in any way - well rarely at least.

There are a number of reasons why I went from wanting the ground to swallow me up (like I was at those first meetings) to being comfortable speaking in front of other people. The big change is that I never feel that I am doing it on my own any more. Before I share at a meeting I do a quick Step 3 and hand my thoughts and actions over to God, asking for His guidance so that I may in some way be helpful to another person.

The other thing that has changed as a result of getting a sponsor and doing the Steps is that I now have a high level of self confidence and self esteem. I also realize that I know only a little and that I will make mistakes but I know that this thing is not about perfection but just doing it to the best of your ability. I try (not always succeeding) to keep an open mind and to learn more. I have found that peoples whose opinions I would not have previously valued and who I would have dismissed as being wrong, were often the ones that I learned much from.

For a while I thought that I was a very important person because I was being asked to speak at meetings. Then over a period of time I observed that being asked to speak was not necessarily a reflection on your standing in AA but had more to do with the time that you arrived at the meetings. There would be some poor person chairing the meeting and frantically looking around for someone who would speak for 15 minutes, and anyone who was half willing would get the job. I also noticed that no matter how much effort I put into it a certain number of people were liable to fall asleep during meetings. It took me some time to realize that all people are equal at AA meetings, whether they are sleeping or speaking and that the message is much more important than the messenger.

There are some individuals who will never really feel comfortable with sharing at meetings and that is fine at least they are sober and going to meetings. The best thing that I quickly noticed about AA meetings is that you dont have to do or say anything, unless you want to. However, it has been my experience that sharing at meetings is something that leaves a positive feeling, as well as boosting self confidence and aiding recovery.

To anyone who would like to share but feels nervous I would say, the following: Ask your Higher Power for guidance; remember that you are as good as anyone else in that room; dont stress about getting it perfect but just go with the flow. Last but not least, while some people will pay little attention to what you say and may even fall asleep, there may be one frightened new person in the room who finds inspiration from your words and who keeps coming back as a result.

I get shy about sharing sometimes even though I have been going for over a year now. I try my best to share anyway even if just to congratulate the sobriety birthdays and say I am grateful to be there and sober.

The more I get to know the people in the meeting, the more comfortable I am. For that reason, I try to go to the same mtgs every week. It is getting easier.

If I don't have anything to share that would help me or others then sometimes I do just listen. I notice though, the more I pass, the harder it gets to share the next time.

The most important thing imo is that you are there.

It is interesting how we perceive ourselves, isn't it.

The best comments that I hear in meetings come from those that have the least sobriety. Please share from your heart - don't worry about trying to say something that you think everyone wants to hear.

If it's from the heart, it's all good!

Hi.....Same here.I just never feel that comfortable in AA.Funny thing is...I did not want people look at me weird so I did share and talk.
It is all in our heads.anxiety.what others think of us.it sucks.
hugz

Chris, I remember a young woman from many years ago. She was so afraid to share that she would sit with her back to the group and she would quietly manage to get out a sentence or two. It didn't matter to the rest of us. We were just glad for her that she managed to get to the meetings and was willing to at least try to share. Don't give up. Maybe you could try a different meeting. I wondered around for months after rehab, trying to find the right fit for myself, and I did. You'll find a meeting where you are comfortable.

A.