Alcoholism Support Group
Alcoholism is the continued consumption of alcoholic beverages, even when it is negatively affecting your health, work, relationships and life. If you think alcohol is causing you to lose control, it's time to seek help. Our group is a safe place to vent, check in, get back up if you fall, and reach sobriety.
So I'm new to all of this. I've never joined anything like this or ever spoken about my problems on a public forum so please bear with me cause I don't know how long these things are meant to be. Because I've never told anyone any of this I feel this may turn out to be quite long.
I'm 28 years old. It's no secret to me that I have a drinking problem although it is a secret to everyone else. From when I was legal to drink I would go on nights out at the weekends but would never drink when I had work the next day or anything. Guess all that changed about 5 years ago. I'd had some personal problems (my father passed away and as a result of the grief I grew distant from a lot of my friends). Instead of face the problems head on, I got into a long distance relationship with someone and within a month decided to just pack up my life and move to where he lived and start over. Quickly realised the age old saying that you can't run away from your problems. I was just as lonely but instead in a place far away from my family and far away from whatever friends I did have. I started drinking heavier on weekends. Instead of knowing when I'd reach my limit I was drinking until I was passed out in the bathroom and my boyfriend had to carry me to a taxi to get me home. I started drinking throughout the week but only on the nights my boyfriend was working at a bar so he wouldn't see me drinking out of fear of him judging me. Honestly I was just lonely. I realise now that when he was away at work I'd drink just to distract myself that I'd made a bad decision abandoning my life to move to a strange place where I didn't know anyone and didn't have any friends or family to spend my time with. After a while I realised what I was doing wasn't healthy and I needed to move back home and be near my family and friends hoping that would solve the problem but I think I was already too far gone.
When I moved back home my brother had a spare room in his apartment and offered me to move in with him. Unfortunately when I moved back he was in America for a month so I was living in an empty house and all the friends I'd left behind had all but abandoned me after I'd moved away. I felt like I had no one so the loneliness came back and I started drinking every night. Even when I had work the next day. I discovered I could put away a bottle of wine a night and still be functional at work the next day so I didn't see any big issue on the matter. However now it is a big issue. It is now 5 years later and I am still putting away a bottle of wine a night.
I've had a few relationships since I moved back home but every one of them enjoyed a drink. One of them even had a dad that died from severe alcoholism. When I would watch him drinking like a fish then have to carry him to bed I would give him a lecture in the morning about how I didn't want him to end up like his dad but would always feel like a massive hypocrite. I have always been good at keeping my own drinking habits a secret so none of them ever guessed I drank just as much as they did.
I've come to realise now however that I need to stop this. I am still living with my brother and whilst he has never said anything (he has never been good with confrontation) I can see the look in his face when he finds me sitting in the living room drinking yet another glass of wine. He all but rolls his eyes. Sometimes he just walks right past me and doesn't say a word and it makes me feel terrible. My mum doesn't know about exactly how much I am drinking but I have a feeling my brother has said something to her because she keeps making sly hints on the matter. I realised I had a serious problem when me and my mum went to the cinema together and afterwards I asked her to drop me off at the shops so I could pick up something for dinner (I didn't actually need to pick up something for dinner, I just wanted to buy a bottle of wine). She said she'd come in with me cause she needed to pick up a couple of things and I didn't want her to see me buying wine incase she got suspicious so I thought "Ok I just wont drink tonight." However after she dropped me back off at home, I waited until she was gone and left the house again to walk back to the shop and buy some wine. I felt so pathetic that night I knew I had to change something.
My health has seriously deteriorated. Every morning I go to work with a fuzzy head that usually takes about two hours to clear up. I'm sure my coworkers think I have insomnia because I pass it off as not having a good nights sleep. I eat healthy and drink lots of water throughout the day, even exercise however it is all pointless because the alcohol leaves me bloated and frumpy looking. My dental health is a mess, my teeth need some serious attention. And I keep getting random aches and pains that I know are caused by alcohol. It's not just my physical health but my mental state is a mess. I constantly wake up and then check my phone to make sure I didn't post any embarassing statuses or send any embarassing texts and find that most of the time, I did. I make pure choices. Sleeping with people I normally wouldn't go near with a ten foot barge pole and going online drunken shopping and spending all of my money.
I want to stop it all and be healthy and clean. Unfortunately losing myself in alcohol has meant I haven't made many new friends since I moved home. I am still very lonely but feel like I am in a catch 22. I drink because I am lonely but I am lonely because I drink. I can't imagine what I would do with my evenings if I didn't drink. This morning I made a list of stuff to do around the house that would keep me busy all day so I wouldn't find an excuse to drink but I did half of it then went to the shop and bought a bottle of wine anyway.
I don't want to be like this anymore but I am also not ready to come clean to my family about it. I guess thats why I googled this site. I just need some kind of help and AA groups aren't available in my area.
Im sorry if this was too long I just really needed to get all of this out.
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check out that smoke ring. It tasted really good. I smothered it with Maulls BBQ sauce which is Local to St. Louis and one of the best I ever had.....
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I was recently separated from my wife of 33 years and it's complicated. Anyway I rented a room about 15 minutes away and I see my kids about once a week. I see the people who own the house I live in once in a while but other than that I stay in my room where I do my cooking, wash dishes in the shower, read, color, and sleep. I get out at least once a day. I grocery shop and I attend 2 meetings...
Not *pure
Thanks for the support! Unfortunately I have searched for groups in my area and had no luck. I live in a small town and would have to travel over an hour to the nearest group. I don't know how to drive so it would be impossible for me to get there :( I guess thats why I am starting with the online thing until I get the courage to come clean to someone I know.
You have made a good start by admitting that drinking has become a problem so now you need to keep the momentum going and build on that start.
You are dealing with a serious problem and one that will continue to get worse if you do nothing. However, with the right approach, you can turn things around completely. I would urge you to be willing to do whatever it takes and that means pushing yourself to do things that you would probably rather not do. Here are some of the options that you have:
Have a completely honest talk with your doctor, telling him or her exactly how much you are drinking. Many doctors do not fully understand alcoholism but maybe you can be put in contact with the local addiction services or a counsellor.
There are not many towns that do not have an AA meeting but sometimes they are not well publicised. Call the AA General Service Office and they will tell you if there is a local meeting. Do not be afraid or embarrassed to go to a meeting in your own town as the other people will be there for the same reason as you. There are also online AA meetings but I would strongly suggest going to face to face meetings if possible.
There is a book by Allen Carr called “The Easyway to Stop Drinking” and it seems to help some people, although I would have some doubts about how effective it could be.
Educate yourself about alcoholism. The guys at the link below are worth listening to:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=phHXCn25MmY
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I can relate to so many of the statements in your post. It is comforting, at least, to know that we are not struggling alone. Joining this site to find people to talk to about those problems is certainly a good first step. I also second PJ54's recommendation of Allen Carr's work. I used Allen Carr's book about smoking to quit smoking several years ago, and I was absolutely amazed at how much a book could help with what I had viewed as a wholly chemical addiction. I'm currently working on the Easyway to Stop Drinking book, and hoping to meet with the same success on this front.
Not only did I drink heavily to numb that emotional pain, I drank until I lost nearly everything I held dear to me, my job, my wife, my self respect, to name a few. When I hit my low, I checked myself into detox through the emergency room. I had been told, that if there were no beds available, the ER was the fastest way to get in, so I was taken immediately. After detox, I went into a 3 week IOP (Intensive Outpatient Program) where I was treated for the underlying issues that triggered my drinking. I was also taught coping skills and I learned how to find happiness living a sober lifestyle.
Most insurances will pay for outpatient treatment. It was convenient for me because it was a few hours during the evening so I was able to work at my new day job while in treatment.
Throughout all the treatment I had, regular attendance at AA meetings were a requirement. I got a sponser who became my 12 step guide and was very helpful to me especially in the beginning when my sobriety was still in a fragile state!
I was thinking, if there are no meetings near you, there is a book you might find helpful and it's called, "The 12 Steps for everyone who really wants them" which you can find on amazon for a few dollars used or if you trust me with your address, I have an extra copy you can have for free. I found this book to be more helpful then the AA big book because it helps you deal with your triggers. It was written for EHA (Emotional Health Anonymous)
If I were you, I would talk to my doctor and get a complete physical. I would tell my dr about my heavy drinking to see what options are available to me. I didn't do that though. I was bold (and drunk) and went straight to the ER and told them I wanted help.
Now is the time for you to seek help and to deal with your problem. I watched my mother commit a slow suicide with the bottle and I don't want the same thing to happen to you. You had the courage to admit you had a problem, now use that same courage to get the help you need to stay sober!
I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers!
God Bless