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got myself into a situation

donttread
donttread
Well , I got myself into a situation and I'm still feeling angry and sorry for myself about it. Messed up huh?
Since thursday evening I have been "off" work until tomorrow am. Yet, between my two jobs I've gone into work twice and was on the phone with them repeatedly Friday and saturday as well. All four days, but the thing is I'm not even on call. In fact day one they reached me by calling my boss who was at the same training. Further, it's all essentially based on well meaning mistakes made by my coworkers who stay home on their days off!
Today I have to go in and meet with someone. this is completely unnecessary, yet certainly not her fault and she deserves my full attention. But, I have to be there in an hour and I'm still resenting it.
The bottom line is I agreed to this, Therefore I'll do it and I'll give them my full professional attention as I should.
Further, I am the only one who can change this for next time by setting some limits.
So why am I still resenting that which I myself allowed? I'm not the victuum here, I did this to myself!
deleted_user
deleted_user
i know when I find resentment in things i've brought on myself, I tend to take it very hard almost punishing myself because of it - dwelling on it then i remind myself - YOU DID THIS FOOL SO SUCK IT UP BUTTERCUP! (not calling you a fool and telling you to suck it up - that is what I tell myself - lol) and by the time it's all said and done I normally find a lesson in there somewhere.

Peace and good luck today - it will be over soon.
donttread
donttread
It's OK to call me a fool and tell me to suck it up! I just haven't managed to get it sucked up yet.
AnneL
AnneL
OH I really struggle with the same thing, DT. I have been learning to stick to the boundaries I set but I can't tell anybody how hard it is. Growing up I wasn't allowed to have any even though I followed the ones set out for me by my Mom (Dad wasn't the enforcer). I always tell myself 'well, you're upset but you did this'.. however, if I feel that I have set that boundary and someone is trampling on it it makes me angry. Especially when they KNOW it's my boundary. Definitely set your limits and keep them in place. "NO" is something I've had to learn and not make an excuse.
nodp2day
nodp2day
it is what it is.

What you do for a living has drawbacks. Like "on call" schedules don't mean chit when you've proven you're the go to guy.

You mucked it up by being very good at what you do. Accept it.
AnneL
AnneL
I like Jim's perspective.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Well look at it this way.....you learned something. You learned that you shouldn't offer to do this all the time in the future. I totally sympathize but I'll tell you something interesting.

There was a period of time when I was absolutely indispensable to my company, and we worked hard to alleviate the situation by hiring people for key positions. When it was all finished, I actually had trouble defining my new duties - I also felt a bit useless. What's happening right now, may be a blessing!
deleted_user
deleted_user
Nothing wrong with being in demand because you are good at something. I'll say things like "no problem" or "any time" The problem is when people take you up on your offer. Now you have to make good on the brag - walk the talk.
Yep, I still do this too, although I'm getting better at not volunteering my off time...
deleted_user
deleted_user
when I was a manager my crue called me all the time with stupid question.once he called me to say there were no 10's I said well I left tons of 5's.he goes hu? I said you know 2- 5's make ten! It got so bad I finally had to tell them not to call me unless the place was on fire or they got robbed.other wise leave me a note on my desk.you should of seen the stack of papers I had on my desk when I got there. get this one girl asked me a question and put yes or no boxes she wanted me to check I laughed my ass off.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Like ramblin man said, it's about boundaries. I suspect that in the past their constant need for you to help them fed your ego and now it's hard to get out of, but you can do it. Set some clear boundaries and after once or twice, the healthy ones will quit doing it and the others, well .... they're the ones you pray for!
donttread
donttread
OK, at evaluation time I'm using Jim's post! LOL thanks guys.
Guess what though. The meeting went well and I think I helped make a difference in someone's life today.
Afterward, my brother-in-law, nephew and nephews friend stopped by and we spent 3 hours fishing catching nothing but good times and a healthy attitude.
Still, I'm talking to my boss tomorrow to see what alternatives we can put in place for next time.
You guys were a life saver today thanks. i owe ya!