Not all alcoholics have the same symptoms, but many-at different stages in the illness-show these signs: They find that only alcohol can make them feel self-confident and at ease with other people; often want "just one more" at the end of a party; look forward to drinking occasions and think about them a lot; get drunk when they had not planned to; try to control their drinking by changing types of liquor, going on the wagon, or taking pledges; sneak drinks; lie about their drinking; hide bottles; drink at work (or in school); drink alone; have blackouts (that is, cannot remember the next day what they said or did the night before); drink in the morning, to relieve severe hangovers, guilty feelings and fears; fail to eat and become malnourished: get cirrhosis of the liver; shake violently, hallucinate, or have convulsions when withdrawn from liquor."

Well, in case there was any confusion, I am in fact, an alcoholic...

I didn't need a reason to drink. But I did drink to feel better about myself in the presence of others that I thought were better off than me.

Rarely would I leave any sort of social event without having one more, despite my husband wanting to leave earlier. (Didn't everyone? No.)

I looked forward to getting drunk at each and every drinking occasions and turning any event into a drinking occasion. (Again, didn't everyone? No.)

I would plan my drinking, for example, Friday night was for Mexican and huge margaritas. (And beers when I got home after my husband went to bed.)

I don't recall trying to control my drinking, if anything, I would mix it all up to get more drunk.

I know there were tiny tiny attempts (think 2-3 days) of being on the wagon, until I was back in my husbands "good graces" from whatever I did to piss him off the night before.

I snuck a drink, mixing vodka into my bottle of iced tea before attending my husband's grandmother's funeral. (You would too, was my thinking, if you knew his family.)

I would lie about my drinking, all the time... Doctor: Do you drink? Julie: Sure, 2-3 drinks a week. (More like daily & triple that on the weekends.)

I drank at work, I drank alone, I blacked out constantly, I would drink to relieve a hangover. I would find myself drinking more to put down those guilty feelings and fears.

I didn't fail to eat and become malnourished: get cirrhosis of the liver; shake violently, hallucinate, or have convulsions when withdrawn from liquor. But I now know that will be coming next, should I choose to go back out there.

Thank God I hit my bottom and found relief. Thanks to this program, my HP, my sponsor and you women, I have tools... I am happier, calmer, peaceful and more serene then ever before in my life. What a wonderful way to live! I have stopped the madness (for today) and I don't have to every go back, unless I pick up that first drink.

I am borrowing this from Marti... Please feel free to share on this topic or anything else that is
related to your alcoholism. Thank you so much for letting me share and be your topic chair for this week!

Thank you.