Thanks to everyone for sharing their insight. I've decided to go to my first AA meeting- it's not until Fri, but I work 12-14 hr days in an urgent care and the other meetings are during that time. It's a start. I'm really hoping to find out why I drink. I have a loving family, never been abused, have a loving husband that I adore, have a nursing job that I do well at, and have 2 dogs and 2 cats that are my wonderful babies. We have a beautiful home and boat, live in a wonderful community with great people. So, if I don't have "problems" per se, why am I like this? I've been drinking since highschool, but most heavily the past 5 or 6 yrs. Started drinking to the point of having blackouts- not remembering entire evenings a lot in the past two months. Have started having anxiety and panic attacks last six months, but they happen when I'm just sitting there without any stress. Anyway, thanks for listening. I know there's people with a lot worse going on, so I feel stupid for whining.
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