I relapsed after 8 years. 1 month after that first drink, things were way worse than before I quit the first time. Advice......don't buy that jug and hit an AA meeting now. This is serious and should not be taken lightly. Are you prepared to handle a misery unlike any misery you've experienced or do you want to reach out for help and leave this bump in the rear view mirror?

What did you do to stay sober for 4 years and what triggered your relapse?
Therein lies your answer!

God Bless

So you had a couple of drinks with no real bad consequences.

"Oh yeah," your disease is saying. "I got this guy. He has forgotten how crappy things can get when I get my hold on him. Oh boy, this is gonna be fun!! I can't wait to fuck up his life again. Ruin everything! His job, his friendships, his close relationship with family."

Your alcoholism already has you squirming, just mind fucking yourself with the thought of drinking.

You either "concede to your innermost self that you are alcoholic" and seek recovery or make out your will.

Please don't let yourself be lured back down the path of eventual despair after a nice buzz and couple of shots. Don't surrender your power, your will ,after so many years of success. Get to a meeting, talk to a sponsor before it's too late. Wishing you the best.

Thanks guys for all the comments

Glad you are reaching out here! Get to some meetings asap, maybe some NEW meetings if you think you'll have a tough time walking into your regular meetings. Better to get back to the hospital rooms quickly!! And Steps 1, 2, 3--I CAN'T, HE CAN, I THINK I'LL LET HIM

I was sober for 24 years, The first 7 years was in Wyoming. I was on the plane, going to Vietnam, to bury my son. On international flight the Stewardess goes around, with a bottle of wine, offering a glass of wine with dinner. I had a glass and a refill. At Ho Chi Minh City, I had a shot of Remy Martin Cognac. That went well. The next time I had two shots. After the funeral i shared a bottle of wine, with a friend at the in laws home somewhere in South Vietnam. We had to take a boat to get there.. After I went home, it escalated to a bottle of Sake. Soon it was two bottles and then 3 bottles of Sake. I spent the next few years on an off booze. I made six month, a year, once a year ad a half. All were followed for a binge. AA was't helping me get to the problem. I quit AA, when I found this Daily Strenght site I started going to Buddhist classes with my wife. I never thought that would have anything to do with my alcoholism. Today I have at least 8 years sober. I am not sure of the years I lost count It could be 10 years. I no longer need to escape my emotions with booze.

Try Mindful meditating or seeing a professional therapist for some cognitive training to understand why you decided that you should take that first drink. You have will power not to take the first drink. After that the compulsions will take over.