This step was easier this time around for me as I was beating myself up abit to much and my sponsor told me just pray the 3rd step prayer then breathe then start in the beginning who was the very first person I was ever mad at well having a sister, brother then of course mom and dad then it began to flow kids in school teachers the school the church ex-husband kids co-workers. Whats amazing was the fear was gone I began to get excited to find out some of my character defects so as not to continue living in them>Just finished up a very complete thorough and honest 4th to the best of my ability am looking forward to wednesday and my 5th step will be complete. No fear it's all part of a new way of living one day at a time JUST BREATHE:) GOD BLESS XXOO

Plenty of meetings helped me. "Breathe" is good advice.

Have Faith. Whatever God means to you, it's more than just a phrase and a concept, right? "Men of faith have courage" and writing a thorough inventory is something that requires courage.

Fear in all it's forms is the bogeyman. It helped me to see that writing this inventory was exactly what I was being asked to do right now. I took a few weeks with it too, wanted to be thorough.

Paul

Have you been working right out of the big book? There is a really simple diagram as to how to complete the 4th step.
In addition in the BB it says to "to get rid of them promptly." It doesnt suggest we stew in them, or think on them. It suggests we put them down on paper, reviewed them as objectively as we can and then take an ACTION step. EG the 5th step and share them with our sponsor ideally, or another trusted person. It again says that we "waste no time."
Personally I wouldnt want to wallow in step 4, its step 4 and then step 5 that release us and as the book says, "we are delighted. We can look the world in the eye....alone at perfect peace and ease."

So anyway...;-) i'd go ahead and get it done. Thoroughly but fast.

Just keep moving through. You're right where you should be.

Ditto to Drafter. Ashley, just keep moving forward. Praying before writing helped me.

What made me feel better was just putting the "bit between my teeth" and getting the 4th Step done. Relief came for me after the 5th Step.

Someone passed this on to me and I thought it might help you. If your HP is not God obviously substitute your own words.


Before you begin any step work

God,
Please help me set aside
everything I think I know
about myself, my disease,
these steps, and especially You;
I pray for an open mind
and a new experience
with myself, my disease,
these steps, and especially You.

When you have finished any step work

Father, having worked on theses steps I have been a little disturbed by thoughts and reactions.
Help me to let these thoughts, feelings and reactions drift away from me so that I am kept safe in your loving arms; my Protector.
I trust you completely to take care of me as I try to live by your will and not my own.

Remember that you are now is a position where you have turned your will and life over to God or HP - this means trusting that or else it means nothing!

good for you for revisiting step four....hugs bill

God Grant me the Serenity to ACCEPT
the things I cannot change
COURGE to change
the things I can
and the WISDOM
to know the difference.
Try Starting with these....
over and over if necessary. I would write it before I go into the writing before I did anykind of writing. then P.U.S.H. (pray until something happens)

For me I had to treat this like a business inventory, not a life story.

I had to work quickly and thoroughly through it and move on to the next step because I found it too easy to wallow in the emotions connected with it. I was thorough with my list and did it as it as it was shown in the Big Book. I was offered other options but wanted to do it the way the first 100 did it. It seems they had it clear - and no messing about!

I had to find all the common character defects apparent which stood in the way of my spiritual journey, so I could do something about them with the help of God and good guidance.

Once I understood the real reason and necessity of Step 4 it was not so hard.

Go to it and get well!

I know the feeling. I just employ the saying,'Just keep on keeping on'. This is a very big challenge. What keeps me going is knowing the blessing that I receive on the way and the ones that are waiting for me at every step that I accomplish. You are dooing it ! Have a blessed day !

I find it's too easy also to try and 'get this stuff out of the way' so we don't have to think about it anymore! Lift that rug, take a quick peak and SWEEP :o)

Like BBH says, I understand we are supposed to be looking ourselves squarely in the face, trying the shoes on and walking in them for a while. This is often painful, I am asked to learn to tolerate the discomfort until I can grow beyond it.

"We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it"

There are alot of negative vibes that keep us from the truth about ourselves. "grumpy, sensitive, emotional". Almost like a defense mechanism, huh?

May I suggest you ask God to remove the fear blocking you on this step?

I remember asking God for the willingness to be willing to see the truth, lol. You're definitely not alone.

This was very hard for me. I took advice from a fellow AA member and almost ended up drunk, BUT I did not drink. I thought it was the perfect time because it was the 4th month of the year and my 4th month sober, so what better time to do my 4th step, right? Wrong-Maybe it just was not the right time for me to do that yet, maybe I had not been sober enough, maybe I had not learned enough. The next time I did it, I was a little over a year sober and felt like a 5 year old and so stupid. I was not understanding it, read the Big Book over & over and I even attended a seminar-twice! Thank GOD for my sponsor, I could not have done it without her. AND Bless her heart, she had so much patience with me, she probably felt like she was trying to teach a child and I was in my 30s then. We had to get together 3 different times before I finally did it, understood it & oh my gosh, what a break through I had. Some much lifted from me and I learned so much. I will be forever grateful to her because without her, I probably would have never been able to do it. If your not working with a sponsor I suggest you do. I usually don't "preach" about sponsor's but this is the one time I always do! Good luck, I hope you get through it and have great results after. Take care & don't drink! Your result (from my experience) will be a better life!

Ashley...can I just ask a question....why do you say 'I will not move on to my fifth step for a couple of weeks'? Just interested to know what is holding you back? Maybe it is the fact you have 'time' that has you procrastinating.

Procrastination was definitely what I did around my step 4 until one of my AA angels told me she would call me back in an hour to see how I had got on! That worked for me :)