11 years? You should be very proud of yourself... That must be extremley hard to do... The most I ever did was have about 10-11 months sober. After that, I managed to do months without a sip, and then I decided to give in and have a drink. (that happend about 8 more times in 3 years)
Out of courisity, what made you want a drink after 11 years?

Hi Ellie and sorry about your relapse. I worked in a Psych hospital for 10 yrs as a Chemical Dependency Charge RN. When a new admission came through who had had multiple years sober before a relapse, I would always ask what they think happened. 100% of them said "I stopped going to meetings and working with other alcoholics".

I always paid heed to that because of the sheer volume of alcoholics we admitted through the years. What are your plans now? Do you want to sober up? Have you contacted anyone from your home group?

I hope you stick around and begin the process again. Hugs, Dianna

After 11 years of sobriety, you must have a really good handle on how to stay sober, so rather than be mad at yourself, why not get back on the wagon?

And yes, I agree with abshoe that maybe just figuring out what made you want a drink can help.

I did stop going to AA meetings. I met my now husband 4 years ago and told him I had some issues with alcohol and that was all. I have two teenagers who were not happy when I remarried last year. My husband told me yesterday he wants a separation because of my girls. I didn't cope well with that and completely lost myself and drunk
Yes, I do want to regain my sobriety. I am just so ashamed of myself. I know I need to accept myself for who I am - not sharing my drinking history (which was pretty bad) with Mark was not my best decision...

EllieMac1 whatever you do please don't let fear or pride prevent you from going straight back to AA. I hope you do it now, before another drink, AA is a programme of action as well as honesty and spiritual wellness.

Speaking of the programme, have you ever had one to one help through the 12 Steps with a sponsor? That becomes more and more essential as this illness progresses and if you have done it before please go through it again and see which were not fully understood or completed.

I would agree with reply 2, I'm not a nurse but I have seen people with double figure years come back to AA after varying times of thinking they were okay. They are the fortunate ones, others never make it back. Time sober appears to be no guarantee of safety from drinking again. I always heed these lines from the AA big book "we are not cured of alcoholism, what we have is a daily reprieve contingent on our spiritual condition."

So remember you are not the only one this has happened to by any means. I would like to share a quote with you that I like:

"Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgement that something else is more important than fear."

Ambrose Redmoon

Sounds like you gave yourself an excuse. Pick yourself up, dust off, and get on with your life. 11 years, you learned something. Onwards!

Hello EllieMac1,

You have had a temporary setback but you can go on to better things. Eleven years of sobriety is a great achievement and nobody can take that from you. Celebrate your success and try to learn from your recent experience. You are not a bad person so dont hate yourself.

I have seen people in AA who had not taken a drink for many years but who had not dealt with their emotional issues through the steps and some of those people by their own admission have come close to relapse. However, once they became willing to make the necessary changes they not only avoided relapse but in many cases have gone on to a more satisfying life.

Whatever way it works out with you and your husband, you can be sure that a clear head will bring better results. Maybe a marriage counsellor could help.

Recovering from a relapse after 11 years of sobriety is much easier than the first time you recovered! I had years of sobriety and I relapsed over New Years. Shame was my ally for getting back on the wagon. The first day was very difficult for, but after the first day I felt I at least had my feet back under me. Today is 8 days for me and I feel like...Yeah I screwed up, but Thank God I was able to fix it fast. If you call a 21 day binge fast that is. The sooner you get back to sobriety the easier it is!