Glad your loving it. Guess you don't need any advice afterall. If when you wake in the morning you've had enough and want help, there's plenty here who can share how they no longer run to alcohol to get through the day.

you know i went in and out of this thinking for a long time before i knew that i need help to stop. if your an alcohlic which only you can decide it will just get worse. eventually the alcohol and drugs stopped working for me and the pain was far greater! alcoholics for sure do not like pain! but pain unfortunatly part of life and so is happiness, by drinking i numbed all my feelings including the good ones! i still get very confused by what im feeling! i too get that little voice in my head saying your worthless and a failure my number one thing probably to send me back to drinking. But today i have a program and i can look at myself honestly and realise i am not worthless and i can be of some use today but it takes action. I guess if your one here drunk it will be difficult for you to get clarity but i hope you read your post back sober

take care

That numb feeling. Anything to quiet the hyperactive brain waves. That's so momentary. Two hours of drinking turns into a week of hangover for me, loss of respect, fines, humiliation...I hope you decide to get some support...there are a lot of people on here to do just that! Good luck

I am SO sorry you guys :( I made an ass out of myself last night :( I definately paid for it with the throwing up and headache... I deserve it though. I'm sorry :(

address this as soon as possible so you won't be like so many of us who are in their 40+ years still fighting this battle. it takes away all you love, all you want to be, all you are. love you!

It's Ok, but there are easier ways! first of all, "Feelings are not facts". They are just feelings and it's not good to dwell in feelings. Before you know it you will be one of those unhappy people that take their emotional pulse every 5 minutes!

No one can pin anything on you without your permission. I felt like you do now when I was in my late teens and early 20's. One thing about us alkies is we don't do criticism well unless it is us doing it to ourselves. I'll hurt you by hurting me. It is usually because someone we love, we feel, does not love us enough or how we want them to. I had a major resentment against my parents and I hurt because they were not the parents that I felt I deserved! I thought they had issues and didn't love me enough. I felt like I was a mistake. What a boat load of crap that was. Most parents tried to do the best they could with what they brought to the table...

In reality parents are just the way they are and we can't change anyone but ourselves. You have so many good qualities but instead of looking at them you are going to dwell on something you can't change. We all fail from time to time. So your going to get ripped everytime you fail at something? It doesn't make sense but I used to feel that way. I was an alcoholic with an inferiority complex!

I used to listen to this song by Hole whenever I felt like you do. It was called "Doll Parts". Or "I'm Miss World"? I forget but that dark music made me feel like I did on the inside. It's ok to cry to sad songs without being drunk! Sometimes I look them up on Utube and remember how much my life sucked. It takes the pain away because you got through it and it is in the past.

Ask for help (before) you pick up a drink. Go get a white chip and write down the date. You will never stay sober if you don't know your sobriety date. I don't know if that is true but I have heard it a few times.

Take care and step away from the bat. ;)

Its not to late to save your own life. Thats what were talking about here. One of the sayings that I've heard goes something like this. After I got sober my sponsor told me NEVER allow people ,places and things DICTATE to you how you're going to move forward. You clearly are a bright girl and you must realize that drinking at somebody only causes you pain. When you allow someone into your head and heart its hard to decide whats wrong and whats right. I think you have a clear path don't let someone else run your life. Words are just words. Actions are your responsiblity to yourself.