Alcoholism Support Group
Alcoholism is the continued consumption of alcoholic beverages, even when it is negatively affecting your health, work, relationships and life. If you think alcohol is causing you to lose control, it's time to seek help. Our group is a safe place to vent, check in, get back up if you fall, and reach sobriety.
The most valuable lesson I have learned from counseling and my journey to sobriety is to recognize that the expectations others have for us are the expectations that we have given them. In my last post, and several others I have seen on here, is the expectation to be perfect. Did anyone ever really tell us they expected us to be perfect? Nope! We expected that of ourselves. When we have set up the expectation for others that we drink, who owns that expectation? Pretty sure that would be us. Others witnessed us drinking, came accustomed to us drinking and then expected that we would be drinking! Yet we struggle with how others will react to us not drinking. Just saying folks, of course others expect us to drink! We programmed that expectation in them. We now have to change not only our own expectations, but what others expect of us. I had a heck of a hard time with this and how others would react to me not drinking. Guess what?? They either are happy or really don't care!
I think once we have conquered our own expectations it's all uphill from there!!
I think once we have conquered our own expectations it's all uphill from there!!
I think that had an effect on me, and still does. When people ask me if i want something the first words out of my mouth are "no thanks, im just fine!" Take yesterday...coming back from the launderette with 6 bags I couldnt carry. I was going to ring a taxi but my phone died...so I struggled and struggled..the thought of asking to lend a phone from someone occurred to me but seemed less than desirable :) I asked for help in the end but it seemed like a real effort of will :) Many of us don't like to think we have a problem we cant handle, for me admitting my problems with booze and asking for help were the first step in bursting that bubble.
More generally I put lots of expectations on myself and lots on others. I expect people to behave a certain way and get upset when they don't. ..It makes life a little more difficult thats for sure :)
Lifes a little easier when I remember everyone and everything is exactly the way its supposed to be..including myself :)
P
"And acceptance is the answer to all my problems today. When I am disturbed, it is because I find some person, place, thing or situation -- some fact of my life -- unacceptable to me, and I can find no serenity until I accept that person, place, thing or situation as being exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment."