Well you sound like you have good ideas already. It's awesome that you are noticing warning signs that drinking is potentially becoming a problem. Have you thought of individual counseling? That way it's one on one and not in a group?

Hi Missy59, all change is uncomfortable and addressing a drinking problem is a huge change. AA can give you the information to judge for yourself whether you are alcoholic or not. Have a look at aa.org and explore online AA meetings. If you live in a big town you may find professional groups for pilots, doctors, members of the clergy etc.

Alcoholics Anonymous respects anonymity, whether you go to a special group or a regular group (as many professionals do), we are all there for the same reason. Alcoholism knows no boundaries.

Keep an open mind to all possibilities as there is a real mix here and you will be making a good start.

Re reply 1, there is a lot of one to one help in AA. Finding the one to one help is an important part of why meetings exist.

I'd also go to your GP and say you want to stop drinking, but feel nervous. Maybe he/she can give you a light anti anxiety med for a month or two to take off the edge? Some do that to quite smoking...

You're making the right choice.

Thank you so much for your replies. Funny how much of this I already knew, but never considered that it applied to me. Denial is funny and since my alcohol use has been "controlled" (ha!) for so long in comparison to my younger years when I had blackouts, etc., I figured I could chalk that past behavior up as a phase, rather than admit my alcohol problem. I know that alcoholism is a progressive disease and that time is not on my side.

Hello Missy59,

It is good that you can see where drinking is leading you and that you need to quit. I sort of controlled my drinking for many years, having only four drinks, not drinking every day etc. but as you have stated, alcoholism is progressive and as time went on there was always justification for more drinking until it got out of control completely.

Church, yoga and exercise are all good things to do but sometimes they are not enough. I would not rule out AA on the grounds that your professional life makes it uncomfortable as there are very many professional people in the fellowship. Besides, untreated alcoholism will usually destroy everything that you have, including professional reputation.

There are also other recovery programs such as SMART Recovery and Women for Sobriety.

I recognize myself in several of the things you said. I never did drugs (other than the prescription kind), but I have been drinking since forever. My Dad was an alcoholic. It just seemed "normal" to drink.

Today, I realize that "just" a "few" drinks may no longer be an option for me. I have high blood pressure, am overweight, etc. I have been trying "moderation" - but that's slippery slope.

Right now I'm on a 40-day drying out period. For my psychology - to tell myself "never ever again" would be overwhelming. So I'm giving myself a set period to turn off the tap.

Just an idea. Perhaps you can relate.

If you haven't surrendered or realized you are an alcoholic....if you have, know that drinking AND prescription drugs(narcotic) type usage are but a symptom of the disease. Try reading some literature, big book, 12 and 12, etc...

Yes I do realize. Thank you. I will do some reading.

thank you clover for mentionin Smart Recovery. This is my program of choice and better suited for people who are secular and science based in their thought processes. It uses Cognitive Behavioral Therapy to get you sober. Not believing in a higher power like AA does.

After 2 years dry, I decided that I could do "controlled drinking" I would keep a limit of no more than 2 drinks. I am the type of alcoholic that one drink does not send me into a spree.

9 times out of 10, I stopped at 2. However, the one time of 10 I would have the 3rd one and I was off and running. I could never predict when I would take that 3rd drink or stop at 2.

Then the "yets" started happening. My coworkers found me passed out cold on the floor at a Christmas party. My boss had to drive me home and I vomited all over his car. I got my first drunk driving...etc...etc

I finally admitted that I could not drink like a normal person. I found AA and it saved my life.

Good luck on your journey to sobriety. You deserve a sober life.

Hugs
Marion

What is so unusual is that I almost always stop at one or two and when I drink more, I don't get so drunk that I pass or black out, I never had a dui, my boyfriend laughs and says I dont have a problem, no one has complained about my drinking.

But what I know deep inside is that alcohol is a progressive disease. It creeps up on me. I had a daily habit of two drinks, sometimes 3 on a Saturday. If I bought a bottle of wine, I could not let it sit in my fridge for a night without having some. And i looked forward to coming home to have a drink. I drank alone.

i found that my work suffered the ever so slight bit. I own my own business and own the building. Rather than cleaning up before I left as my usual habit, I started slipping and wanting to come home for the wine. That scares me.

I have already tried the controlled drinking, not buying wine during the week. But the alcoholic in me tries to convince me that I should stop and pick up a bottle during the week. The alcoholic says, you will just have one drink tonight, and you can save the rest for another day. But the next day comes and I drink some, and so on.

I just think it is easy for me to deny a problem because I currently dont have the extent of the problem I had 25 years ago. But it is still a problem.

I do miss drinking but not enough to pick up. I do know that I need additional social support and to find a better way to spend my evenings.

If you are drinking to change the way you feel you are wise to be concerned. There were two propositions given to me as a pointer for alcoholism rather than the frequency/what I drank/ how much I drank.

These were do I find myself drinking despite a promise to myself not to or can I stop once I start. Unfortunately both applied to me but either one is an indicator for alcoholism.

Thank you Fairilse, for clarifying that for me.