Alcoholism Support Group

Alcoholism is the continued consumption of alcoholic beverages, even when it is negatively affecting your health, work, relationships and life. If you think alcohol is causing you to lose control, it's time to seek help. Our group is a safe place to vent, check in, get back up if you fall, and reach sobriety.

3,023 Members
33,010 Posts
0 Online
Addiction & Recovery
/ Alcoholism Support Group

drinking brought me to my knees

xmarkyx
xmarkyx
hi all
someone dear asked me a while ago what brought me to my knees in drinking no rude answers and i wrote this, i'd like to ask what brought you to your knees in drinking again no rude answers lol

i remember it well drinking heavily and a girl came in talking away i said do i look rough she said i look lovely well fine she said i was pissed i was looking at her crying with pain inside me i wanted to die

my last few weeks of drinking really took me to my knees i just could not and would not stop drinking

i knew i could drink from say 6.30am till about 1 ish then stop drink loads of water to sober up then start again at 7pm it was hell waiting till 7pm mouth dry shaking skin crawling ohhh i remember so well now im sat listening to music crying right now but it wasnt long before i just started drinking all day i was now drinking 6 cans before i even opened the shop before it was 2 id moved on big time by 1pm i was thinking bollocks lets just drink the day away once my boss turned up at 2pm he always came about 9.30am if he ever turned up at all not that day he knew i was drunk he never really said anything my book work was a mess not done in 4 days round about then i was also getting taxis to work every monday simply because i was so paranoid i had no idea if id left cans in the shop i really had no idea what the shop was like the taxi cost me 45 my work is 40 miles away a dear do

i often woke up looked in the mirror day 1 thought im ok

day 2 not bad day 4 shit i look awfull if someone turns up im gone sacked
my HP kept my job

i often drank when bosses was at the shop giving training id go to toilet swig a can then of i went chatting away to him mad i know but i pushed my look every step of the way once a team security officer turned up to do a shop check etc its random shit that day couldnt have been any worse books a mess shop a shit hole and on top of this i was heavily pissed well my body was pissed but my brain was relatively sober as you know we never really got pissed in our heads i felt normal inside at the end of my last days drinking i was up stairs drinking sweating cause i was going to throw up but i laid on the floor to get cold and keep the beer inside me so that i did not waste any by throwing it up then i went downstairs looked at the officer and said to him is that my job gone he said no why should it be thats up to you area manager to be honest i didnt give a toss long as i had my drink that day my life was a mess i phoned my dad and said dad i want to die i went to meetings pissed drinking in the toilet then i walked to one and said please someone help me help me i asked a chap to be my sponsor he sounded very alike his stories where like my life he said kid your drinking days are over

i see that girl today she knows i told her a while ago about my drinking today work is busy where top shop out of 50 this is from been sober

today i skip down my yellow brick road searching for happy joyous and free today i have it :0)
im so gratefull to be sober another 24 hours this will kill us if we go back out today i enjoy life so much it gets better as they all tell me it will

peace and love to each and everyone of you i love you all
xmarkyx
krm
krm
My pancreus
deleted_user
deleted_user
My daughter who was 3 at the time.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Thx for the post....sure gave me alot to think about.

Gawd the last of my drinking days were horrible.

To Sobriety!
deleted_user
deleted_user
Yeah me also, faced with death, I finally found a way I could live life peacefully and happily. WE alcoholic's sure like to kick our own azzes. lol!
deleted_user
deleted_user
your story is much like mine except i had a tendancy to take the entire liquor miniature drawer from the plane. i got so i drank everything i thought i hated. the seizures and d.t.'s were just an added bonus.

btw, i lost custody of my only child.........
deleted_user
deleted_user
My last drinking day started with beer first thing in the morning so I wouldn't be too sick to DRIVE my kids to school. Ended with getting lost on the way home from kids football practice(3 blocks away from home) sideswiping a truck, cops coming to house to arrest me. Didn't want to go, didn't think I had to, handcuffed, kicked the 6'something cop in groin, dropped him to his knees ater that my hubby said the hole force showed up. Spent 6 days in jail for DUI and battery on an officer. In a cell 22 hours a day I realized if I didn't get help to stp drinking I would spend the rest of my life behind bars for killing someone when I was driving. Before all that happened I tried to quit many times. I thank God everyday that I chose to use the second chance He gave me.
deleted_user
deleted_user
btw, my daughter is 12 now and has been raised by her aunt and granny(at almost 4 years of age). but she is pissed. her father (a sexual predator) and her mother both a former alcoholic and a drug fiend. the saddest thing is my child a date/rape baby was the thing is she was the most wanted child in my world. i underestimated this disease and her so-called father's predilections. there are many, days, i fight to get through. i had a baby on my own (except when mom told him his paternity when she was 7. i've been through court battles since. one at present. i stay alive for her. only for her......................
deleted_user
deleted_user
When my two and a half year old son started going into the refrigerator, pulling out a beer and demanding that I open it for him. When I wouldn't, he would have a melt down, screaming, "My beer! Give me my beer!" He was so used to seeing me with one in my hand that he thought he should have one too.
Ashley8888
Ashley8888
My future...Seeing what it lead my mother and father to, knowing I was on their path and chosing to follow the one that they showed me though their recovery....I am blessed to have two sober parents now, and both sober for over 13 years too....I am bless to know better than the way I was living...
there was no dramatic end to my drinking, well except the awful depression and anxiety, that did bring me to my knees quiet often.....from the drinking that is...with out the drinking I can feel "normal" again...
deleted_user
deleted_user
Well marky, what brought me to my knees, I fought this illness even in aa for five years did not stop going to meetings but did not think I was as bad as all you alkies, listened to all the differences and could not match the honesty in the rooms. I could not share and all I was doing was marking my card and all the differences came into my life and more. I share this so others do not have to take this road, in my first 5 years in aa I picked up the drink 3 times and this is a progressive illnes as the last time took me to nearly death never mind my knees I landed in a hotel room with my hubbie and two alkies drinking together can you imagine!!! and after 4 days lying in bed with bottle to mouth and not even able to get up and blaming aa, family and everyone you can imagine what state I was in but I thank god my two daughters found me and got me into hospital and this is when I was finally on my knees I came to with a drip on each arm and a daugher on each arm and thought my God what have I done and was told another couple of hours I would have been dead and all because I would not accept that I was an alcoholic and could not pick up that first drink!!!! I thank god every day for giving me the gift of lifexxxxxxxx
deleted_user
deleted_user
Wow
Inspiring
story
of
Recovey
deleted_user
deleted_user
Wow
Inspiring
story
of
Recovey
deleted_user
deleted_user
MY KIDS ALL IN THERE TEENS SPAT ON ME HIT ME AND TOLD ME I WAS DISGUSTING AND DID NOT WANT TO BE AROUND ME ANY MORE ,BUT AFTER WE ALL CRIED TOGETHER ,I WENT AWAY TO DITOX CAME HOME AND RANG AA ,I AM SOBER NOW 25 YRS ,[ONE DAY AT A TIME ] IT WASNT EASY BUT IT IS SIMPLE '
DONT PICK UP THE FIRST DRINK AND I WONT GET DRUNK EXCEPT LIFE ON LIFES TERMS ,I DONT HAVE TO LIKE IT ,AND MY HIGHER POWER WHO IS ALWAYS WITH ME ,TODAY I HAVE PEACE OF MIND AND A LIFE BEYONDE MY WILDEST DREAMS .WHY ?BECAUSE I AM SOBER JUST FOR TODAY .
deleted_user
deleted_user
A few months after the birth of my second grandson. Seeing how my dad's alcoholism almost tour my family apart and how the alcoholic affects everyone around them is NOT what I wanted for myself or the ones that I love and who love me. I want my grandsons to be proud of their meme, and there was no way that would ever happen if I continued to drink.
Posts You May Be Interested In
  • joannklingaman

    Grief

    Posted by: joannklingaman
    Last Reply: MrsMorris
    10
    A friend sent this to me..As far as I can see, grief will never truly end.It may become softer overtime, more gentleand some days will feel sharp.But grief will last as long as Love does - ForeverIt's simply the way the absence of your loved onemanifests in your heart. A deep longing accompaniedby the deepest Love some days. The heavy fog mayreturn and the next day, it may recede.Once again, it's...
  • ainteasybeineazy

    It's my Birthday and no one cares

    Posted by: ainteasybeineazy
    Last Reply: karendee
    42
    Today is my 25th birthday, to my somewhat lack of surprise I can see already no one really seems to care. I've always been the kinda person to make sure that everyone I Care about feels appreciated and knew somebody had their back. I can count 4 times this year when I Went out of my way to make sure a "friend" felt good on their birthday, especially if they got left hanging. Its early in the...