Alcoholism Support Group
Alcoholism is the continued consumption of alcoholic beverages, even when it is negatively affecting your health, work, relationships and life. If you think alcohol is causing you to lose control, it's time to seek help. Our group is a safe place to vent, check in, get back up if you fall, and reach sobriety.
There is a good feeling associated with sharing experiences good or bad. I think just writing this helps. I have come to realize of late that i do have a drinking problem. I realize now more than ever that I have to solve other personal issues before I can either drink "normally" or just quit for good.
I have been very lonely for the last few months. I think this is a big part of it. I don't feel like i am part of anything .i feel terribly isolated from the world. I work from home and I am also doing a distance degree which at first seemed great as my job is ok and the degree is quite good. Yet i have no contact with anybody really. Add to this a very sensitive personality compounded with high anxiety and deep insecurity and its obvious why someone like me would have a tendency to fall victim to alcohol. I drink because i feel my head clears after a beer or two. I enjoy that feeling. I am do not drink in the mornings or during the day. My problem is that after 2-3 drinks i usually stop at 10. I hate hangovers and i can easily not drink for 4-5 days but i always go back and go overboard.
I miss having energy . I always feel tired and this is due at least in part to booze.
Something feels good about sharing here and i hope some of you can provide some great advice.
Thanks
I have been very lonely for the last few months. I think this is a big part of it. I don't feel like i am part of anything .i feel terribly isolated from the world. I work from home and I am also doing a distance degree which at first seemed great as my job is ok and the degree is quite good. Yet i have no contact with anybody really. Add to this a very sensitive personality compounded with high anxiety and deep insecurity and its obvious why someone like me would have a tendency to fall victim to alcohol. I drink because i feel my head clears after a beer or two. I enjoy that feeling. I am do not drink in the mornings or during the day. My problem is that after 2-3 drinks i usually stop at 10. I hate hangovers and i can easily not drink for 4-5 days but i always go back and go overboard.
I miss having energy . I always feel tired and this is due at least in part to booze.
Something feels good about sharing here and i hope some of you can provide some great advice.
Thanks
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Dick Van Dyke’s path to sobriety was a turning point in his life and career. Here’s what happened:How He Got SoberStruggles and Realization: Van Dyke began drinking as a teenager, largely to cope with shyness and social anxiety. Alcohol made him feel more comfortable in social settings, but over time, his drinking spiraled out of control. By his mid-40s, he recognized that he had an addictive...
You are very welcome to the D.S. alcohol forum and I hope that you will find something of value here. At the very least, you are not alone anymore and as well as posting here you can communicate with people via private messages.
From your description of your drinking I would say that you may be some way down the road to alcoholism and maybe beyond the point where you can drink safely again. I did not drink in the morning and not often during the day but I am without any doubt an alcoholic so do not be fooled by the things that you did not do yet.
The feelings of loneliness and isolation that you have described are common among alcoholics. In my case there was an inner void that I tried to fill for many years and in many strange ways. It was not until I was forced to take a look at myself in order to recover from alcoholism that I finally found a way to overcome that empty feeling that I had inside.
If you take an honest look at your drinking and conclude that you are an alcoholic you will have only two options. One is to drink on to the bitter end and bear the consequences which can mean losing everything that you have, including your life. The other option is to do whatever it takes in order to get sober.
Almost everyone I know, alcoholic or not, suffers to a degree from self esteem issues in one area or another, and most people have some level of anxiety around life in general or specific things like crowds or flying.
So you arent really alone at all in any of that or all that unique. Booze can just make alcoholics feel uniquely alone or isolated.
Drinking just exsaserbates this cycle and if you are at the stage where booze doesnt work for you, and you know it, but you can't stop for good then you might need help. I did. AA has been the solution for me and I'm incredibly grateful.
Ola1123, you have described me. I could not have said it better myself. And it is great to be able to vent frustrations here without fear of repercussions. I am still "testing the waters" so to speak, because my trust in others and myself is about zero.
I am also very, very lonely and I tend to isolate more than is healthy. I consider myself an introvert, but even introverts need human interaction. Guess in my case, with the other psychological and addiction issues, I've decided it was just too much for me to bear.
It is a self-created hell. I know that now more than ever since I am older and look back and think of the things I could have done differently. However, I try to see it as if it was the best thing I could do at the time. At least maybe I don't feel quite so remorseful and guilty if I think of it that way. And it really was the best and only thing I could do at that time. The pain was just too much so I felt like I had no choice.
I have had times in my life that I was a daily drinker, around the clock, morning, noon, evening and even during the night. Then I have had periods in my life that I was a binge drinker - going months and even years without drinking and for whatever reason I would pick up that drink and it would start all over again. Maybe for a few months, and in the worst cases, a year or more.
I have been homeless several times, losing everything I had gained in the years I wasn't drinking. Even people in AA have commented that they don't see how I could still be alive after the life I've lived. Me either.
I should be writing all this in a journal, and maybe I will, when it feels safe enough to do that. I am sorry for going overboard but the thoughts flow and it seems I can't stop myself.
Anyway, Ola1123, PJ54 and AntoniaB have the best answers in my opinion. You are still young enough and intelligent enough to listen and comprehend. I know just venting is a great help.
Just a couple of things with my experience.Alcoholism is a disease of deception.So I might suggest you read a few post and look for similarities rather than any differentiates and if you find them people here can point you in the right direction to do something about it.
Some people say I can't be alcoholic I have a job work hard and don't drink until I come home after 6pm. And say an alcoholic is someone who drinks at 6am in the morning.The thing is it doesn't matter whether you drink at 6am or 6pm you could have the same problem only 12 hours apart.
Also something on Social drinking and Alcoholism. A social drinker is someone like my wife who may have one or two drinks every so often and when she does she won't drink more because it makes her dizzy,sleepy and she gets an out of control feeling.
And me the alcoholic when I drink and have that first one I get an in-control feeling and want to party .I feel I do things better .I feel I drive better ,play pool better look better etc.only an example and apply's to me not everyone.
With the energy some common deficiencies brought on by alcohol consumption are to do with Folate, Vitamin B12 , Vitamin A ,Calcium
rather than go into it you may have a look yourself. But taking vitamin B group may help.
And yes sharing helps we help each other there will be other posts to read so that's enough from me and you have an outlet now where people understand and are only willing to help if they can but you have to do the foot work.
God Bless...
Lionel
Immediately those attempting to be helpful pigeonhole by assuming everyone that has issues with drinking alcohol is an alcoholic, but this is erroneous.
Then the disease concept is mentioned which hasnt been proven. Alcoholism causes disease, but the disease concept was created for financial reasons. Follow the money and usually the truth is revealed. As an example, most alcohol and drug addiction rehabs / treatment centers a side from some medial procedures to help their clients dry out, use AAs 12 Step model for recovery. Then after treatment is over, clients are advised to attend AA meetings. So basically what has happened is the clients and / or insurance has paid thousands of dollars for the textbook Alcoholics Anonymous that is AAs suggested program of recovery. Yet AAs suggested recovery program is free of charge. No wonder rehabs / treatment centers have a revolving door recidivism rate of over 90%.
Youve already been hit on this board with the common saying, which comes from the AA fellowship, look for the similarities not the differences This doesnt make sense. I look for both the similarities and differences. One of the differences I found is that many rehabs / treatment centers alcoholics dont know the dynamics of recovery in the Alcoholics Anonymous fellowship / meetings as well as other recovery programs. Maybe Im wrong, but Im assuming that due to the fact that youve posted by sharing your concerns indicates that youve already seen the similarities.
Feelings of loneliness and isolation are commonly a symptom of depression. Those that dont mention this when giving advice either are not ware of this or theyre in denial.
I'd suggest AA, because that's what worked for me. See if you can relate there. It's a great place for not feeling alone anymore. good luck. The alcohol is just making things worse for you now.
Im going to probably shock some members here when I say that maybe you should try some AA meetings. Not because I agree with ANY of their program, but you DO need to try and break away from your isolation. At least there you will find others who have also suffered those feelings of loneliness. If not at AA, you need to find something and somewhere that you are around other people. But that is and of itself is not enough but its where you need to start. You said I dont feel like I am part of anything and that is painful. The thing is that even when you make the effort to be involved with other people by joining a group (whether thats AA, volunteering somewhere, joining a club, a job where you are with people, etc._) you need to start to engage with them in conversation or you will feel like Stickywick alluded to (isolated even in a crowd). That can feel even worse so you need to make the double effort of 1-getting amongst people and 2-engaging with them. It doesnt have to be monumental at first. You know, just bite size attempts at connecting. The best way to do it is to, without being nosy or obnoxious, ask other people about themselves. People like to talk about themselves and if you show an interest in them and truly LISTEN and CARE about what they have to say, they in turn will take an interest in you.
Its hard work! Extending yourself out towards others is extremely difficult when you are so overly consumed about what is going on in YOUR head but it is brutally important.
I used to work in a job where I was among other people all day long but I had my own work space (cubicle) and I could totally limit my amount of social interaction quite easily and I did. I would leave the building at lunch time and get take out and eat in my car. I thought nobody liked me. Well why should they? I didnt even try and get to know them. When I left the company (my drinking was a factor), I found out that just the opposite was true, that I was actually very much liked and people never understood why I didnt hang out in the break room at lunch time, etc. It was a self-fulfilling prophecy on my part; I just assumed that nobody liked me and so I isolated and almost forced the issue.
So how can we get you out there? Is what you do for work something where in another company you could do it at their location among other people? You should look into maybe changing jobs to that kind of situation. Same thing with the school thing. Is there a local college or university where you can take these courses? That would be a good possible place to connect.
Now as far as your lack of energy and always being tired goes; being in a depressed or anxiety ridden state all the time IS taxing and leads to lethargy and being tired. Those first 2 or 3 drinks to give you a life even though alcohol is technically a depressant. That initial energy boost, though, is very fleeting and is followed by a crash of sorts. You keep drinking to try and re-start that boost but eventually you just conk out.
I found that when I was first trying to climb out from my black hole, that getting out and exercising was hugely helpful in slowly building up some kind of energy. I would ride a bike, walk to the beach and back, shoot some baskets, something, I would try and force myself to do something. Always alone but at least I was moving and at least I saw other people.
Just a few ideas that I hope give you some food for thought. The most important one for now is .Just get out of the house doing ANYTHING. Good Luck!
1is2
Loneliness is a common experience of alcoholics as well as those who suffer from depression. My experience is that working from home can feel so isolating and lonely too.
It certainly sounds as if your drinking causes some problems in your life, only you can decide whether or not you are alcoholic.
My experience of trying to deal with my other issues is that it only worked once I got sober. I tried so hard because I thought that solving these issues might well allow me to drink like other people - for me, not so.
All I am saying is not to let your issues dictate what you do about your drinking!
take care
Lyn
I think i will start to get out of the house more. Play basketball , run , whatever. I will look into AA meetings also. We all need a sense of belonging...I will search for it.
Thank you all for the amazing comments and please feel free to msg me anytime for support of any kind. My life is computer based for now so always here for you.
Aha ... just writing this is helping me clarify things. Thinking too much. I need to explore that further with my therapist. What am I thinking about that I'm trying to hide from? What am I using alcohol to hide from?
One of my GF's is doing the 12 Steps (I'm not. Yet.) and she's really digging deep. And, that has been healing for her. I wonder if it would help me.
Ooops. This has become more about me. I hope it's helpful to others.
I think getting out for you is really important, if you think about it alcohol has been playing the role of a friend for you, always there, never judging. But like a friend that's toxic if you stay with them for too long.
It sounds like you already know what the emotional issues are behind your drinking, and as someone has already pointed out, you need to be sober to address those issues. But if you do, you might find that you don't need alcohol anymore, because you have what you really need.
Alcohol was a short term solution to your problems, maybe now it's time to find a more long term one?
I wish you the best of luck on your journey.