Yes as a host or hostess, it is your job to make sure everyone has a drink in your hand, but now where in the rule book does it have to be an alcoholic beverage -

Normally if alcohol is offered, there are also mixers, i.e. sodas, juice around, so I opt for the mixer without the alcohol.

I honestly have no problem in telling anyone, host, hostess, or other guests, i dont drink. If they need an explanation I tell them I am an alkie - if they need more of an explanation, i just tell them, you really don't want me to ruin your party by dancing on tables, and tossing things around the room when someone pisses me off - or I may tell them, I am not losing 14 years of not drinking for one holiday drink.

I find that people are a lot moreunderstanding than we alkies give them credit for - i honestly have had no problem in telling anyone about my not drinking even int he beginning and if the people knew me before they were very supportative and if they didn't they were just amazed, but never dwelled on the situation.

It's not a crime, or an voodoo evil thing if a person doesn't drink -

Peace!

I don't have a problem at parties getting a plastic cup when I arrive, and filling it with ice and diet Coke. I've been very careful to not let anyone outside of family, bring me a drink. Whether a office party, wedding reception, etc. Too easy to get drinks confused or for someone to throw something in with the coke by mistake. Don't attend alcoholic functions much so no biggy.

As for telling people I don't drink? No problem, I enjoy the freedom of being able to do that!

I simply will remind the host of when I vomited on them last year...

hee hee.... :)

LOL!!!!

I went to dinner at an old neighbours house last night and before the other guests arrived she said to me that when she was offering sherry/wine out she would just say to them 'm8bear doesnt drink'. I said there was no need for that as I would just have a coffee. I felt it would make it more obvious if she said such a statement although I knew she was looking out for me with very good intentions.

Sometimes I think it is other people that make more of an issue with it than me. It goes so unnoticed when we are driving, drink in hand etc. Come to think of it, I have never been asked about it! Wow!

My sponsor too told me about having a drink in hand and it has helped me, and those I help in the fellowship too :)

You're exactly right. I usually beat them to it, by getting a coke before they can ask me. Once they see me holding something, they don't bother me with drink requests.

Think about it for a second. If you are not the host/hostess do you every really notice if someone doesn't have a drink in their hand? I don't. I think we are overly sensitive to it. When I am the host I ALWAYS am on the lookout for this because I feel someone may feel to shy to ask for something, so look out for it.

Instead of a drink you could always walk around with a plate full of Christmas cookies/appetizers and munch away. That will keep your hands busy!

This is only my 3rd day of being sober and I'm super worried about all of the booze being around this next couple of weeks. I really don't know what to do or say. Some people are already suspicious because I didn't have a drink in my hand last night. I always have a drink in my hand. What else can I do to resist the temptation?

By all means skip the party if you can. At 3 days sober and so early on like that, you just don't need the temptation or the anxiety. Stay home sick, stay home because you're buried in homework, stay home to stay sober.

If you can't skip it, keep something else in your hand, and have a get away plan. Ask your hubby to also not drink with you.

OK so maybe it's just me but once I'm in the presence of alcohol my heart starts beating so fast & loud I think others can hear it. Happens even when I pass it in the store (which is easy now that they put it every where, not just in the beer isle) I have been sober for 1 1/2 yrs but this is not the first time I've reached this point. I have reached the 2 yr mark two other times and I end up ruining it all. I don't have the will power to sit and watch everyone else drink and then ask for something else. I've had many occasions where they keep insisting on my drinking to loosen up a bit or stop being a party pooper. I don't want to go into my past because I don't think it's anyone's business and it just spoils the mood. I have been spending my holidays alone and sometimes it helps but I've spent most of my drinking time alone as well. Never been much of a bar drinker, was usually the one coming to the bar already drunk. Guess you would call that a closet drinker? Not sure, I wish I had the confidence I'm hearing from all of you.

Use our strength...

I've sometimes said to people that were insisting that I take a drink -
"Think of this - there is more for you if I don't drink"
or
"I'm not drinking today, maybe tomorrow"
or
"I'm the designated driver tonight"
or
"Thanks but no"

Just keep safe! If you think it will be an issue - don't go....