I noticed the more I do the steps, the more I apply spiritual principles, the more unselfish I become, the less I entertain the implications of ego driven fear, the more God molds me into a person others really find interesting and enjoyable.
More importantly the more I do the steps, and the more spiritual I want to become, the more others, particular those I had major resentments against, for petty and selfish reason, become interesting and people I start to respect very much.
Finding character defect, and accepting that if I accept them, and find contentment or become complacent with them leading my life, is the key to me growing, and becoming a person I can live with, and not drink over.
I have written about my hatred on the inside, hatred for others, but I haven't been able to write about how destructive it is. Recently I had some adversity that tested my recovered state and sobriety. I understand now that my spewing of hatred, even if just venting, and produced by an intense need to be relieved of the "ill" feeling it creates, is immature, and not good for me or my understanding of others.
I see how arrogant it is to cut others down, or see the negative things they might not be able to rid themselves of. Hatred, immaturity, arrogance, these are qualities I do not want to build a name off of. I see and know that revelation or realization is very health and must be inspiriation from God, I am not that type of guy who one day decides that being arrogant, selfish, immature, and a hater isn't something I am going to pay attention to any more.
If you're new, and don't know, and are struggling, just stay committed, do the right things, and life will mold into a plan from God that erases worry, fear, and not knowing with confidence, courage, and an unlimited supply of love that is worth living for.
he was approaching 2yr sobriety anniversary and was with prostitute and said yes when he should have said no is how he descibed it.....I hope that he does not turn up positive in PO Piss test when he goes on 11th.....I am glad he is back and is trying again....he wants to move away from where his is....he lives by the strip where prostitutes stroll by all the time...this one gal knows where he...
Just as I've been in and out of drinking, I've done the same with this website. I'm thankful to have posted some journal entries in the past. It's a sobering reminder of how alcohol lost it's luster for me. I've been a high bottom person and in some ways, that makes it tougher (IMO) to see the insanity of my drinking and accepting Step 1. Any insights on how to turn the corner...