I noticed the more I do the steps, the more I apply spiritual principles, the more unselfish I become, the less I entertain the implications of ego driven fear, the more God molds me into a person others really find interesting and enjoyable.
More importantly the more I do the steps, and the more spiritual I want to become, the more others, particular those I had major resentments against, for petty and selfish reason, become interesting and people I start to respect very much.
Finding character defect, and accepting that if I accept them, and find contentment or become complacent with them leading my life, is the key to me growing, and becoming a person I can live with, and not drink over.
I have written about my hatred on the inside, hatred for others, but I haven't been able to write about how destructive it is. Recently I had some adversity that tested my recovered state and sobriety. I understand now that my spewing of hatred, even if just venting, and produced by an intense need to be relieved of the "ill" feeling it creates, is immature, and not good for me or my understanding of others.
I see how arrogant it is to cut others down, or see the negative things they might not be able to rid themselves of. Hatred, immaturity, arrogance, these are qualities I do not want to build a name off of. I see and know that revelation or realization is very health and must be inspiriation from God, I am not that type of guy who one day decides that being arrogant, selfish, immature, and a hater isn't something I am going to pay attention to any more.
If you're new, and don't know, and are struggling, just stay committed, do the right things, and life will mold into a plan from God that erases worry, fear, and not knowing with confidence, courage, and an unlimited supply of love that is worth living for.
Depression’s coming at me like a drug; when I take it, it feels as if it’s a real person manipulating my mind. I can’t focus anymore. On schoolwork, during conversations, trying to remember my priorities. I can’t do it! Hey there, depression. It’s nice to see you again..what am I even saying? I just want to sleep, and never wake up. This is so hard to explain in words at this moment...
AA saved my life. With that being said, I'm beginning to resent a newcomer at my home group. The group has several newcomers currently. Some who have the gift of desperation and some who's parents/wife/lawyers have the gift of desperation. I feel that one of these guys is toxic and particularly dangerous. One of the newcomers, who I believe is really trying to get better, is having difficulty...