I believe that the insane obsession combined with the physical craving did me in. To change that I had to do something different (duh) - like spend some time somwhere where that next drink didn't exist. Once I was sober long enough to understand the ramifications of picking up yet one more next drink, I could in fact withstand the demand to pick it up - long enough to get with the program...
Hugs,
Dennis

Oh I had to drink. It was either that or be sick -- I was drinking just that much alcohol. I needed help to put it down. I had tried and failed many times; I needed something more powerful than I could drum up. This is where a power greater than myself had to run things. I had no power, period. The only choice I had was to turn up the bottle and drink myself to sleep (momentarily or finally). I had molested any self-esteem or emotional security that I ever had long before I was able to recognize what I had done. Totally blinded, emotionally, spiritually, and physically bankrupt. I was just not able to stop drinking, alone.

Dang Olive! Another zinger! haha! You're on fire today! hee hee..

If that is the definition of "emotional maturity" then I just began to mature emotionally at 38!

I never denied myself anything that I wanted whether it be alcohol, food, sex, drugs...anything that brought me joy and unfortunately, for years, those were the only things that brought me joy!

It was compulsive and impulsive as well.......

I had never attempted to deny myself or delay gratification before getting sober....I saw no need, I thought I was relatively normal for a loooooong time.

It was super hard to put off that first drink and think of just this moment. Making the vow that I will not drink for this hour was torture at first, but with the desire to be happy, it became much easier in time and I can honestly say without a doubt that if you put a bottle of vodka in front of me right now, I would not drink it, nor would I want it!

Now, if you put Vin Diesel in front of me, that's another story for another day.... hee hee.. :) Bad holy!

I don't know if I delay gratification HTL, I just get it in different places than I did before, balance it more and don't expect it to be so instant. Love and friendship, exercise and nutrition. I no longer seek instant gratification from something that will give me long term suffering. I will not forget where that first drink will take me.

I think, like others have said, the mental obsession coupled with the phenomenon of craving meant that there was no space at all to delay gratification or to consider the consequences of taking the first drink.

I think intially white knuckling it in AA, then getting that set of tools that DOES give us that period, even a moment when we can not seek gratification, and thus stay away from the first drink is the deal. And with comfortm free from the compulsion.

In a wider sense I know that I, and many alki's I meet have great trouble with delaying gratification in a range of areas: sex, food, work, release from emotional discomfort, spending money, having financial security, love, success, you name it. And of course that links back to the booze, which many of us used to smother those yearning for other things too. I've been sober for 11 years but continually learning to delay gratification is a life-long effort for me.