Alcoholism Support Group
Alcoholism is the continued consumption of alcoholic beverages, even when it is negatively affecting your health, work, relationships and life. If you think alcohol is causing you to lose control, it's time to seek help. Our group is a safe place to vent, check in, get back up if you fall, and reach sobriety.
Call it desperation. Call it hitting bottom. Call it surrender.
I forgot the pain. I forgot how desperate I felt. I drank. I hit that bottom. I surrendered. I got sober. I forgot the pain. I forgot how desperate I felt. I drank. I hit that bottom. I surrendered. I forgot the pain. I forgot how desperate I felt. I drank...
My last relapse which ended 76 days ago... was pure misery. There was no relief. There was drunk. There was blackout. There was pass out. There was NO relief. I couldn't get my "fix". I kept trying for 3 weeks. I just couldn't get what I needed. My craving became insatiable.
Finally, I gave up. I realized then that I could not win. I wasn't going to get any fix anymore. Booze could not FIX "it". Game over. I lost.
I call it DEFEAT. I think you only know it when you feel it.
This is my reminder. I cannot forget that I have already been defeated.
Sobriety is a different game altogether. This game, I can win.
I forgot the pain. I forgot how desperate I felt. I drank. I hit that bottom. I surrendered. I got sober. I forgot the pain. I forgot how desperate I felt. I drank. I hit that bottom. I surrendered. I forgot the pain. I forgot how desperate I felt. I drank...
My last relapse which ended 76 days ago... was pure misery. There was no relief. There was drunk. There was blackout. There was pass out. There was NO relief. I couldn't get my "fix". I kept trying for 3 weeks. I just couldn't get what I needed. My craving became insatiable.
Finally, I gave up. I realized then that I could not win. I wasn't going to get any fix anymore. Booze could not FIX "it". Game over. I lost.
I call it DEFEAT. I think you only know it when you feel it.
This is my reminder. I cannot forget that I have already been defeated.
Sobriety is a different game altogether. This game, I can win.
'We admitted that we were powerless over alcohol - that our lives had become unmanageable'.
To me it was only when I truly surrendered to my inner core that I was able to take this step 100%. How did I do it? By going through the Big Book with my sponsor. I remember the intense feeling I felt, like a baby about to learn all over again. It was amazing.
The pain, desperation, rock bottom that you describe...to me that is the unmanageability.
It was only when I surrendered to the fact I would never win the fight against alcohol that my life truly began.
Then came step 2................today I don't even worry about winning and life is truly beautiful.
Good post HTL...I love to be reminded of that intense feeling I felt at step 1.
You keep in the game Anna-some days you won't feel like you are winning, some days you will feel on top of the world. Whatever life brings though, stay in the game, don't lose to booze ;)
I think we are all winners in recovery only my opinion .
One thing I am reminded of reading your post is that my disease is progressive but so is recovery progressive. That's why there are certain things I must do daily to maintain my sobriety.
Thanks for sharing.
God Bless...
Lionel
Proud of ya!! :)
xoxo
~Chris
You remind me of that early time when, as a Sci-Fi fan, I literally felt like I had moved from one dimension to a totally different dimension - from a drunken woman to a sober one. Just moving about in the world was so very strange. It was totally weird, but just goes to show how profound are the changes that happen to us when we get sober.
If not the alcoholic mind will slowly creepy crawl back into our being.
This does remind me of the first step, and it is the only step we have to do perfectly. The remembering is so important, which is why meetings are so great especially when there are newcomers present. A great reminder of our own defeat or surrender.
Thanks,
Karen
Peace!