Hi there Sugar. What I found is that recalling those bad days with clarity will help give you the resolve to avoid them in the future.

I don't know what your circumstances are, but I would talk with your doctor. I know it will be difficult but please try. I think you'd be surprised (pleasantly) it was to finally relieve yourself of that burden. Most likely, the doctor has heard your story (and much worse) many times before.

I don't recommend buying drugs off the internet. You don't know the quality or legitimacy of the products. What would you buy?

Cravings suck, but what helped me was drinking lots of water and I freely allowed myself to indulge in sweet products. Coca cola, almond M&Ms and ice cream helped. (Don't worry about the calories right now, unless you have a health condition where you shouldn't.) B vitamins also helped. I was in a situation where I couldn't really get out and about much, so that was a blessing in preventing me from going out and buying more alcohol. I did a lot of reading.

Hang in there!

(((HUGS!)))

Sugar, sorry you relapsed. When I went to treatment, my greatest fear, at that time, was worrying if the "clinical social worker" was going to try to gather evidence to take my kids. It was totally unfounded. No court is going to take your kids if you are trying to get and stay sober.

In fact, when I saw the social worker, he helped me with some of my issues. He was there to help me, period.

Please bring your doctor in on this. Mine began the process of recovery for me.

In the meantime, clover had some great advice!

Rome wasn't built in a day. Keep at it, at least you recognize the problem and is sounds like you really want to get clean.

Peace

My doctor put me on Camprell in the beginning which took away the cravings. So the cravings didn't bother me when I went through an outpatient treatment program.

After I started going to AA meetings, the cravings went away and I stopped taking the camprell, in fact, I still have several bottles left over. You can only get it by prescription in the USA so you will have to ask your doctor for it.

Good luck!

Don't buy drugs from the internet...you can be arrested.
Don't beat yourself up..this is not easy....you see that you felt better...and you can do it again.

I remember you were so broken...and after only 3 days..you felt amazing...you can do this.

Eat...and hydrate...and you will feel better.

Your Dr. can put you on something to control the detox jitters to a point where you can handle it and still function. Drs. have no interest in anything other than your health. And they can't talk about your condition to anyone without your consent. DON'T go to the internet for drugs. there are so many bad things that could come of that.
Good Luck.

Start at day 1 again and get past the weekend... If you don't stop during the week you will most likely get right back where you left off.. You probably felt worse this time because you started to clean your body out. So your stamina to drinking wasn't the same.

So feeling as bad as you did the day after makes you realize it is poison your putting in your body and it let you know. Stay strong I can tell your a fighter so win a round for yourself.

You need to get some help. I can totally relate to the feeling of being out of control and wanting a pill to solve it. I actually tried a few....wound up with the shakes, and hives, but still drank.
What worked for me was/ is AA. I didnt need a doctor to detox, but if you are physically addicted you do. If you are, talk to your dr. A "black mark?" As if that's a bad thing vs drinking ones self to death? There is no black mark -- its in your mind. So talk to your DR. Go to an AA meeting and share. But don't keep doing what you are doing and expecting different results.