Hello findingmyself,

First of all, congratulations on 4 days - that is a big achievement.

It would be nice to get support from your husband and other people but your success is not dependent on others. It is how you feel and what you do that matters. People who do not understand alcoholism don’t know what it is like for those who have it so do not be too hard on your husband.

The most important thing is that you have acknowledged that you are an alcoholic. The next step is to accept it.

Well done on 4 days. I did 5 days last 5 slipped Friday night then got another 4 days sober. And I did it with the help of AA. 4 meetings in 7 days. You need real life support and nobody will understand you better than other alcoholics. At least that's been my experience. Don't be put off by the God stuff either. it also helps agnostics atheists and Buddhists. It's a Higher Power of your own understanding you see. You can't do it alone. Go on give it a try. You'll be surprised and won't regret it.
Best
Manda xxx

You will find that support comes from outside where you are looking when you get sober. Surround yourself with sober people, and they will constantly tell you good job., keep it up, and you're doing awesome.

Family may know that you've tried to quit before and may be skeptical.

Most importantly don't get sober for anyone but yourself. And don't seek approval from anyone. This is your ego. Stay on the path and you will collect many supporters.

We piss people off to the point of them not caring if we recover or not initially, in some cases.

Give it time, the more you grow well, and recover, learning the steps, or whatever method you choose, the more he will come around. You've got to admit, as practicing alcoholics we get very good at breaking promises, and telling lies, even if we mean well.

Members of my family still find me worthy of skepticism, 20 years of being an a-hole does that, and I've also met guys 20 years sober who said their family never really changed as well. I think lowering your expectations, not thinking others changing is the solution, and knowing the more you change, the more acceptable others become, ironically, that will help.

I know when I get more spiritual, and do the opposite of what my ego is telling me, I see people aren't irritating me, like my mind tells me they are, I see that people are using their rights to be themselves and I can make them better, by allowing them to live their own lives, not hoping or wishing they would change to my liking.

If I have a problem with someone it is my problem, always.

So, we alcoholics are classic in that we want acknowledgment for all the little things we should be doing, anyway. Not drinking for four days, or even one day was and IS a huge big deal to a drunk. You should pat yourself on the back and high five the universe. Seriously. But don't expect the world to acknowledge or stop or slow or even say "YAY" for you not drinking. Don't drink no matter what and your life will get really GOOD. A day at a time. But don't do it for the kudos or acknowledgement or you'll be at the mercy of fools:-)

This my Day 4, too. I lasted 2 weeks last time and was feeling great. I hope we can do this TOGETHER! I've had some scary close calls b/c of being unsafe - falls, blackouts and health issues. I no longer have a choice and am scared.
I cannot see myself going to a meeting. I do not feel comfortable sharing my mistakes in front of people no matter how supportive they may be. I understand it works for some, but it's not my thing. I am looking forward to the daily inspirations and I am praying for help. Thanks for listening.

Hello Havetodoit,

Wishing you all the best on the journey to sobriety. It is important to learn from past experience so what are you going to do differently this time?

Like you, I could not see myself going to an AA meeting and indeed I would have preferred to walk on hot coals than to go down that road. However, when things got bad enough, I went to AA. To my surprise, it was not at all what I had imagined it would be.

AA is not the only way to get sober but if I were you, I would keep all options open. There are no rules in AA so you don’t have to share anything unless you want to do so. Sometimes, just listening can be more valuable than talking.

That is a great accomplishment. You should be proud. Back before I quit the bottle, I would stand in the garage on trash day until I heard my wifes car pulling down the street to take the garbage can to the road. I was in need of approval. looking back i was just stupid to stand in the garage when i could have been done in 2 minutes.

As an alcoholic, I too was looking for accolades. The normal person thinks nothing of going 4-5 days without a drink... It is just different for the addict. I will tell you that if you want accolades, the rooms of aa are so supportive. Yesterday we applauded when a guy said he had 7 days. and another that had 13... Its in a room that others that have BTDT understand.

I couldnt get sober alone. I tried once for 2 years to just not drink. I was miserable and HAD to drink again. This time I take action and get to a meeting every day. Last drink was 6/12. You can and deserve to be happy. Cmon!

1is2many

Most if not all of us have been in your shoes. I didn't get pats on the back at home for doing what I should have been doing all along. At AA, they gave me those pats on the back because only they understood how difficult it was. My family waited 1 1/2 years for the other shoe to fall. I couldn't blame them.

BTW, kudos to you on 4 days! Keep up the good work. Hugs, Dianna

Congratulations! I have family members in recovery so I have seen how hard it is, and the first few days are so difficult, so good for you!! I'm sorry your family isn't seeming supportive right now. Coming from a previously angry and hurt family member, it's hard for them too. While you were sick and not sober, they were getting sick in their own ways. So just like it'll take time for you, it'll take time for them too. And I know it has already been mentioned, but I would suggest going to AA. And remember- not all meetings are the same. Try a bunch out and find ones that work for you! Find a sponsor, find your support group because even when your family does come around, nobody will understand you or support you quite like fellow people in recovery will! The wife of a man in recovery joked the other day that AA is the only place that throws parties and celebrations to celebrate people doing what they should've been doing all along!! It's not a knock on all of the hard work you put in, but remember that your family has struggled with you, too. But that you're worth finding a great support system to help you through all of this. And remember, no matter who is around you to support you or celebrate you-
it works if you work it, so work it- you're worth it!!