Alcoholism Support Group
Alcoholism is the continued consumption of alcoholic beverages, even when it is negatively affecting your health, work, relationships and life. If you think alcohol is causing you to lose control, it's time to seek help. Our group is a safe place to vent, check in, get back up if you fall, and reach sobriety.
Today is day 33 sober. I want to talk about day 32. Had plans to take my fam to the carnival. My husband gets home & decides he doesn't want to go. Then my teenage son decides if dad's not going he's not. Before leaving my husband goes to his stash above the fridge and sits out a over 1/2 way gone bottle of Jim Beam. (my drink) So off my 11 yr old & I go to the carnival. We ate, played games, then rode rides. Now I used to love the crazy rides. But this one ride put a hurtin on mamma. Was not feeling very well.
When returning I'm still not back to normal. Feeling green. Bottle still there on the counter. I walk around, water flowers etc.... Still there. Why hasn't this man finished this bottle??? I cave. I take not even a whole shot. I enjoyed it. Then I put it down. I'm not going to have anymore b/c I don't want anyone to know I caved. If the bottle had more in it then I could have had more and no one would have noticed.
I feel pretty bad about it. It wasn't much but I feel that if I had more Beam there I would have totally sliped. I can't predict what didn't happen. I also won't beat myself up over what was basically just a taste. (not even a whole shot glass) This was maybe just me testing myself. I know I'm weak and if booze is in the house it needs to be kept out of site. I know he keeps booze above the fridge. But I don't go looking for it anymore. The cabinet is closed and in my mind locked.
When returning I'm still not back to normal. Feeling green. Bottle still there on the counter. I walk around, water flowers etc.... Still there. Why hasn't this man finished this bottle??? I cave. I take not even a whole shot. I enjoyed it. Then I put it down. I'm not going to have anymore b/c I don't want anyone to know I caved. If the bottle had more in it then I could have had more and no one would have noticed.
I feel pretty bad about it. It wasn't much but I feel that if I had more Beam there I would have totally sliped. I can't predict what didn't happen. I also won't beat myself up over what was basically just a taste. (not even a whole shot glass) This was maybe just me testing myself. I know I'm weak and if booze is in the house it needs to be kept out of site. I know he keeps booze above the fridge. But I don't go looking for it anymore. The cabinet is closed and in my mind locked.
But you did not. You made the choice to cave and pick it up. But more importantly, you made the choice to put it down and walk away from it.
Nice going. But here is the question -- are you sure you would have had more if no one would have been able to tell? Because at the end of the day, you can always buy a bottle and sneak it so they would not see it. Lack of availability is not what keeps us sober, even though it might make it easier to not cave in a "weak moment."
You are stronger than you give yourself credit for.
When to AA that night, picked up a new chip.