Welcome. Sorry you've gone to a place that's brought you here but have hope.

There is a better way to live! Stick around.

Its not that I are lacking in morals or have weak willpower. I have a condition when I put alcohol in my body a craving develops and I want more and more until its gone, then I go find more. I just process alcohol differently from other people. The fact that I could go days without drinking then I would blow it out kept me in a horrible place for a long time.

The keys for me were to learn why I was needing to drink so hard. I was unable to forgive myself for being born. I didnt like who I was and needed to escape from me. Also there were ppl and situations that I had 0 control over and this fact made me HAVE to drink to escape.

So a little while ago I decided that I needed some help. I had quit many many times only to fail and be back on the nipple in a week. What i found this time was a group that helps me to stay sober. we work on the reasons why... The feelings of less than, the resentments, the hate and anger. Slowly I have become someone I dont hate. Its a miracle. Today I have a solution when the issues in life make me blow my top. I have a relief valve. Its my group and my program.

Things can be better if you change the way you view things.

Good luck

1is2many

Thanks !

A great place to start would be with your doctor who can check your liver to see how much damage, if any, and can discuss treatment options with you and point you in the right direction.

God Bless

Great idea !

Accepting the fact that you can't ever drink again is a tough pill to swallow, so maybe set smaller goals--try a week without it, and go from there. Also, thinking about it as this great thing that you can never do isn't the key; you have to change your mindset to realize that it's an awful thing that you don't want to do, and that, my friend, takes a lot of recalibrating. But first, you've got to get past the physical addiction so you can even think clearly. I'm approaching week three with no alcohol or cigarettes--cold turkey--and I feel amazing. Like you, I'm not a daily drinker, because I physically can't do it. That's mostly because when I do drink, it takes me days to recover because I invariably drink myself into a total blackout. It's been a couple of times a week for a while now, and it was picking up steam. Hangover aside, how many times have you awoke with that shitty "oh no... what did I do?" Feeling in your gut? Or, "how the hell did I get this bruise?" Nothing quite like wondering if you're the star of a viral YouTube video, on top of feeling like you drank a bottle of bleach and got hit by a train. Here's my terrible advice: stop. Just, stop. And fill the void with something else--something positive. I chose exercise for a number of reasons, not the least of which it's motivation, as well as a reward, and it increases the very same endorphins that you seek from alcohol... the ones that are depleted BY alcohol. Realizing it's now a problem for you, and committing to changing it are two distinctly different concepts, and I wish you luck. There's a great book by Annie Grace called "the naked mind" that actually helped me decide to control this nonsense. You can do it.