...you should either drink and enjoy it or STOP and quit torturing yourself. This will same story will continue if u do not choose or change. I mean well.

Most of the time when people relapse they get a lot of positive comments. You slipped, now get up and start again. There is a good reason for those comments, you cannot change the past and picking yourself up and starting over is what you need to do. (The alternative is spiraling back into drinking hell.

But Rich, I also want to let you know how disappointed I was to read your post. I've been following your progress -- your trip to NY and brunch with mimosas, etc. You made it through all that and decided to open a bottle of wine. So how was your celebration for the Mets? Because I don't think it was a celebration at all -- it was an excuse, nothing more.

Maybe you should check out SMART Recovery and go to their tools page and try to work out what was behind this:

http://www.smartrecovery.org/resources/toolchest.htm

Just keep trying. One day at a time. That way days do add up. it is worth it.

Hi --

ExJerseyGirl -- you are absolutely right. The wine was not a "celebration", it was the situation that made me give in to the cravings. My wife was in the bedroom asleep and I was up late because of the Mets and so I had the opportunity to drink. I'm disappointed in myself as well. I should have come here and posted a message about how I was feeling and my desire to have a drink rather than opening that bottle.

I appreciate all the support and I also appreciate the "tough love". I'm disappointed in myself and of course my wife is pissed at me which is even worse because yet again I've let her down.

Rich

...I might have came off the wrong way, sorry. But i too have been following your posts. Following you from the first time you joined.
maybe I saw alittle of myself in u. once again, sorry....

That evil little voice always looking for an excuse... (I hate that voice)...

I also still struggle, but learn from it and stand back up... now you know.

There will always be an excuse if you are looking one... but the mets? really? (just kidding).

I am doing this on my own, (for reasons of my own). And I know that everyday I will get stronger, getting to day 9 was an awesome accomplishment - especially if you are getting stronger... one slip... or relapse (or however you want to categorize it) cannot take that away from you.

Keep on going, this is journey.

Good Luck!!!

I could Not get sober on my own. I was one to drink the whole bottle too. I needed the escape. I needed to remove me from me. That is what makes me an alcoholic. I like the effect produced by alcohol.

But today is a day that I choose not to drink and it's very empowering. I love my self today I don't have to find relief in a bottle. Sure I still want to but I know if I drink I will be of like a rocket to daily drinking again.

I was not able to do t alone. I found help from other alcoholics

Good luck and go mets!

1is2many

Depression, loneliness, anxiety and anger are frequently cited as common triggers to drink, and I would also include jubilation for me. Whenever I want to celebrate a success of any kind, I first think of having a drink. Sounds like you do too. Suggest you become familiar with all your triggers and be prepared to head them off when the pesky bastards show up again. Wishing you success Rich!

Why do you have alcohol in your house? That's just cruel..

We had a few bottle of white wine left in our fridge. There isn't any wine now.

A long time ago I put the hard liquor and red wine in our basement. My wife likes to have a glass of wine occasionally and so I don't want to deprive her. The thing is - if I don't start drinking I'm fine. And of course when she is around (or awake!) she keeps me in line. Until yesterday I had been good about going to bed at the same time as she and so I was not awake and alone with the temptation.

I did want to stay up and watch the end of the Mets game and she went to bed at 11pm like we normally do so that's how the whole thing began.

Rich

Ditto to buddacat's comment.
And that's all I have to say about that.

I had to have the booze out of my house for I would obsessively think about it. The thing is Booze worked for me. It worked to stop my mind from thinking. It was the way I lived. But I couldn't stop with one or two. I wanted oblivion. It's tough to admit I'm different from other ppl. I have a disorder. I just can't help it but when I drink I drink

Today I work on other methods. I play the tape all the way thru. I know 1 will open the floodgates. So how do I not start? I go to a group at 430 and instead of hitting the bar I chat about what's bothering me. I listen to how others have dealt with situations.

It is possible to put it away. Cmon you can too

1is2many

I would remove the booze too. There is none in my house. Hasn't been since day 1. I think your wife won't mind missing that occasional glass of wine if it is helping you on your road to recovery.

My husband also likes to drink occasionally but now he does it when he goes out with his friends or we go to dinner, etc. I've even told him I would be fine with him having beer at the house, just nothing hard and he said no.

I cannot have booze in my house. Last week I found two I had hidden. I dumped both of them, but not without some thoughts first. I simply cannot drink. Im not going to pass judgement here. Day 0 could be any of us tomorrow. Thinking of you.

I cannot have booze in my house either. If someone leaves some, down the trash it goes. I just don't want to be tempted.

Forgive yourself for your relapse and get back on the wagon. You can do it! I get the sense from the other posts on here this has been a long struggle and it is indeed a long journey but lasting sobriety is possible. it gets easier the longer you stay away from it. the cravings do subside.

When I was in outpatient rehab they used to welcome us back after our relapses and say "Everyone deserves the dignity of their process" which I am saying to you. This is part of your process and you will learn what your triggers are from your relapses and set mechanisms in place not to let it happen again.