Alcoholism Support Group
Alcoholism is the continued consumption of alcoholic beverages, even when it is negatively affecting your health, work, relationships and life. If you think alcohol is causing you to lose control, it's time to seek help. Our group is a safe place to vent, check in, get back up if you fall, and reach sobriety.
My sober life is not all flowers & sunshine.
My son is flunking out of his 1st semester in college. My daughter I can't seem to say the right thing too. Now that she knows about her brother she is very ready to fight with him & make him feel bad. I don't know if he feels bad. But I feel terrible & listening to the fighting & insults on each other makes things worse. She will call him stupid he will call her fat.
My daughter tells me she wants to join the Air Force in 3 yrs when she graduates. This is fine news except she has been obese most of her life. So there is a weight requirement that she would have to get really serious if she wanted to meet it. I am talking she would have to lose 60 lbs. In the past we have tried to help her but it never sticks. It's not easy to force your child to diet & exercise. I have tried it all. She refuses to play sports. She is in the 9th grade. There is no right thing to say. If I lie then I am setting her up for failure. If I tell her she needs to lose weight then I am an asshole that's giving her low self esteem.
My husband I feel nothing for right now. The sober me doesn't know how I stayed married to this man for 21 years except that I was drunk a good bit of it.
Work is okay. I own my own business so I live with the constant fear that it could all fall apart at any time.
I want to drink wine so so so bad. I want to just get a little Christmas cheer. I mean like REALLY bad. I am almost 2 months. The longest stretch I have had since giving birth to that 9th grader. I have a 90 chip goal in my head. I want to make it & honestly that 90
Day chip
Is literally the ONLY thing keeping me from drinking.
My son is flunking out of his 1st semester in college. My daughter I can't seem to say the right thing too. Now that she knows about her brother she is very ready to fight with him & make him feel bad. I don't know if he feels bad. But I feel terrible & listening to the fighting & insults on each other makes things worse. She will call him stupid he will call her fat.
My daughter tells me she wants to join the Air Force in 3 yrs when she graduates. This is fine news except she has been obese most of her life. So there is a weight requirement that she would have to get really serious if she wanted to meet it. I am talking she would have to lose 60 lbs. In the past we have tried to help her but it never sticks. It's not easy to force your child to diet & exercise. I have tried it all. She refuses to play sports. She is in the 9th grade. There is no right thing to say. If I lie then I am setting her up for failure. If I tell her she needs to lose weight then I am an asshole that's giving her low self esteem.
My husband I feel nothing for right now. The sober me doesn't know how I stayed married to this man for 21 years except that I was drunk a good bit of it.
Work is okay. I own my own business so I live with the constant fear that it could all fall apart at any time.
I want to drink wine so so so bad. I want to just get a little Christmas cheer. I mean like REALLY bad. I am almost 2 months. The longest stretch I have had since giving birth to that 9th grader. I have a 90 chip goal in my head. I want to make it & honestly that 90
Day chip
Is literally the ONLY thing keeping me from drinking.
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Dick Van Dyke’s path to sobriety was a turning point in his life and career. Here’s what happened:How He Got SoberStruggles and Realization: Van Dyke began drinking as a teenager, largely to cope with shyness and social anxiety. Alcohol made him feel more comfortable in social settings, but over time, his drinking spiraled out of control. By his mid-40s, he recognized that he had an addictive...
Christmas cheer? Really? Don't you mean huge hangover, guilt, remorse, sloppy drunk behaviour in front of your 9th grader? Right?
So don't think about that anymore. Go for a walk; go for a run; go to a movie, shop on line without buying anything;-) go to an AA meeting, call a sober friend, whatever. Just do the next right thing.
When I was newly sober I wanted that 90 day chip too; then I wanted a year; et.c Now I want to be sober. i want to participate in my big rich imperfect full life. Its awesome and yours will be too. Bet it is already.
Do you have some numbers to call. It's a time to reach out to your network. You will make it, just try to not go down the crazy thoughts path and you cannot control son or daughter , and it will drive you crazy. Just try to stay in charge of u. Prayers
1-2
I'm sorry you are coping with so much conflict.
Regarding your daughter, I'm sure many people thought you wouldn't make it in sobriety because you are alcoholic. But, when determined, you stay sober.
Perhaps your daughter may put her passion into that dream of the Air Force, and she will make a life change, as you did.
Are they open to Alanon? May be helpful for them to see how all this impact you.
Remember, Alcoholics don't get Christmas cheer when drinking. Stay on target for that 90 day chip. Maybe you husband can make changes also.
When contemplating that wine and Christmas "cheer", just remember..
There is no situation so bad that alcohol won't make worse and there is no situation so great that alcohol won't totally FUCK UP!!
As for your daughter, I'm pretty sure she knows how much she weighs, and if she is interested in the USAF (Proud Air Force Mom here, my son graduated BMT - Basic Military Training - earlier this month), she will learn the requirements and have to decide for herself what she needs to do. FWIW, I lost 50+ lbs in less than 1 year - not too bad for a fat old broad.
What works for me is taking a walk in nature, listening to some good music (and dancing along to it!), meditation, yoga, talking with a compassionate friend, prayer, AA meetings, watching a heart warming or funny movie, etc.
A little "Christmas Cheer" is what our stinking thinking would have us believe booze is. But our experience tells us its poison and destructive and brings no real happiness. Just remember all the guilt, shame, suffering, (ETC) that goes along with a night of indulging. It's never worth it. All of your current challenges will still be there the next day... and you'll have to face them with a muddled hungover brain and body. :(
You mentioned your 90 day chip as your focus.. that sounds good. Keeping your eyes on the prize.. while staying grounded in the present moment (one moment, one day at a time).
All of us in this group are here to support you how we can. I'll definitely weave you into my prayers today.
Hot tubs. I miss my naked hot tub club. We disbanded because so many died off.