Amen!!

This one may take me some time to grasp. Even though my heart may agree with what this message means, my head is still telling me otherwise. I will get there, I'm sure. Thank you for sharing :-)

One pearl from my aged Mom. She would tell me often-----doing nothing is making a choice. And inaction is a choice also.

Odd that she stayed married for 30 yrs. to a convicted and registered sex offender. She never was able to make the leap to protect me. One screwed up lady. I have nicely come to terms with it. No Drinky lol

thank you for this. I am a newbie beginner, and just made an awful choice last night. I now have to face up to the consequences and move forward. AA gives me hope. I can't imagine a life without alcohol.

Sometimes I stray because I think I can do it better....Big mistake because I get myself in all sorts of trouble when I do!

Much better to just sit back and relax and allow my Higher Power to run the show!

Peace!

When my husband left me in '93 when I was one year and a day sober, a dear friend and mentor broke out his BB and had me read this page. Pretty hard to play the victim when hit right between the eyes with the truth about ME and the huge role I played in our dysfunctional marriage.

Selfish and self centered? Hell yes! The 12 Steps and relationship with God that I had no use for when I first sobered up, allow me to be the person I was always supposed to be. And that's all about thinking less of me and more of others. And yeah, I am accountable for my action or inaction today.

Aw shoot.... You mean I'M the problem?! Damn it!!

.... "we invariably find that at some time in the past we have made decisions based on self which later placed us in a position to be hurt." .... I still have much trouble w/this...much trouble (I believe in it, just have trouble). I have hope though, b/c God is helping me at least start to 'see the light'. I can see my parts in sending things down the wrong road, or in motion in a negative way/path but... and I try to clean up 'my side of the street'...but...I still have to look at the dirty 'other side' of the street and know that I still have pain and unforgiveness. PJ sent me the resentment prayer, and I think maybe I should say it hourly, or more. I do realize and accept my 'parts' and I want so bad for the 'dramatic change in outlook' to come, but it has not come yet, and it really hurts and I know for a fact that I used alcohol to numb that. I did. )-: (thanks for the post Oki)

More than anything else in step - work all had to remember was that.. some of this lack of forgiveness. Was just a reaction to things I was ..way to young to do anything about ..all I needed to look at was Where I had become more and more resentful at others based on traumas i had no control over.
Closure in that area and looking at my accelerated resentment 's in reacting to this was needed for me . Not blaming myself :) A good sponsor explained the difference for me :)
Billy

This reflection hit home with me big time!
I hjave blamed my mother so much for so many of the things that I felt are wrong with me. Yes , she did me wrong as a child. Yes I was abused, and yes it hurt and made me feel like nothing. But did she pour the alcohol down my throat? Did she tell me to go have random sex every weeeked? Did she tell me to binge eat? NO! I told myself to do these things to fill up the hole that she caused. The past is the past. I cant change it. The only thing that I can do is look to a higher power to lead me to the things that will fill me up the right way. Also, I need to realize that it is the higher power that is getting me sober! it is not me. Yes, I live day to day and make the decision to not drink, but it is a higher power that makes that choice easier than it used to be. Before, when I didnt lean on a higher power, the decison to drink was much harder.

I keep forgetting that I cannot change the past. Shoot, I just keep forgetting that this is one of the things 'I cannot change'. This is a good reminder. What my mom did will not change either, and what I did in response to it will not change, but how I react to things can change, and me blaming others for how I react can change. It sure is hard though, damn! I feel like a baby: "You are like a baby. Making noise, don't know what to do." I guess I need a Jake Sully avatar.