Alcoholism Support Group

Alcoholism is the continued consumption of alcoholic beverages, even when it is negatively affecting your health, work, relationships and life. If you think alcohol is causing you to lose control, it's time to seek help. Our group is a safe place to vent, check in, get back up if you fall, and reach sobriety.

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confusedmoma 03/04/2008

I've been sober for almost five months now, but i lost that elated feeling that comes with sobriety, and a new sense of self. I still have tremendous guilt over my past drunken mistakes, and deep down i do not feel as good as i should. I went to a meeting(finally) and it felt really good to go but i have trouble speaking in public, let alone speaking about myself and my feelings. So of coarse i turned into a blubbering mess and i feel so embarrased. I'm not used to baring my soul, and letting people see the raw pain inside of me. I just hope and pray that everyone will understand, and just bear with me. I'm hoping with practice, i will eventually be able to tell my story without crying! I got a peice of advice from my sister about this. She told me to remember that i am there for myself, and it doesn't matter what anyone thinks of me. She said it is a safe place to heal, and that it's ok to cry. I just have trouble accepting the fact that strangers at meetings will accept me, as i am such a self concious person. But if i am there for ME and only me... then it shouln't matter. This must be the concept of a " selfish program" i heard before. So if this is true, then look out! haha I will be there with a box of kleenex! I just hope and pray that i continue working on this way of life! I want it so bad. I want to feel ok with life and everything in it, including all of me. If you are reading this, thank you for listening.

terriDasilva 03/04/2008

your right, AA is a safe place to heal. We have all been there, done that. Those who do not let go that way, usually admire someone who will.
Start working the steps. This emotional roller coaster will end. You will find a new peace. I use to have the same feelings during meetings and realize now how unhealthy it is to continue that way when there is a solution. I promise, without a doubt, you will feel better through the steps.

deleted_user 03/04/2008

I cried too..almost choked trying to hold the tears back. Just sort of let the roll and dabbed away at them. I think the group was used to it though...there was a box of tissues on the table :) I'm sure you're fine.

deleted_user 03/04/2008

We all know that crying is a release of something...... most of the time..... i cry enough to know that sometimes i need to just listen and not just hear others things. I used to cry at meetings all the time.... to where i could not talk........ yet someone was always there to hug me or just give me a nod it was ok... it will get better...

deleted_user 03/04/2008

frist I would like to say I am very proud of you for going to that meeting and I am proud that you shared that is a big step. I have cried at meetings to and that is a good thing, many poeple have and that is a great thing you are releasing and showing feelings. Keep going back and things will get better in time.

terriDasilva 03/04/2008

my sister cried for her first 30 meetings in 30 days. The group decided a way to get her to stop, if even for a minute was to have her read how it works at the beginning of the meeting... well, she almost made it through the whole thing. ha ha

deleted_user 03/04/2008

Hi, we don't have boxes of tissues on our tables at meetings where I live - I don't know if it is due to the good old "Stiff Upper Lip" and British reserve or whether they all just cottoned on quick that I always carry a handy pack of kleenex in my bag. It costs me a fortune as I go to quite a lot of meetings and people cry here too. I can't afford to cry but the good news is we learn to laugh at ourselves too!!! Maybe Nee123's cat could lend you some of that toilet roll it keeps unravelling (see avatar).

deleted_user 03/04/2008

ahaaahaaahaaa!!

Loved1 03/04/2008

I think early on in sobriety there are a lot of tears. I too cried at meetings, and still do sometimes after 3 years, though not nearly as much. At first it became a regular thing.
I had certain meetings where I felt comfortable enough to cry - small and intimate. Others I just couldn't let myself cry so I wouldn't go or just try to suck it up, until I got a little more mature and if I wanted to cry, I let myself, and that was a big deal to not get up and leave and let people see me cry.
You are not alone. Crying and tears are healing. I am glad you feel safe enough to cry at meetings. One day you will be in a position to tell someone else who is new you know how they feel.

deleted_user 03/04/2008

Tears happen a lot when we are new, I guess some of it is the sheer relief of having got there. It happens to most people at some time! Don't worry about it, don't worry about speaking in a meeting, it's not compulsory!
Maybe help yourself to feel more like you belong my clearing away afterwards, no one is more loved than a willing helper LOL
There is one thing though: AA is not a 'selfish programme' it's actually a selfless programme, but I hear that all the time too. Where DID that come from I wonder?? We'll probably never know.
Well done at getting to the first meeting!

deleted_user 03/04/2008

"AA is not a 'selfish programme' it's actually a selfless programme, but I hear that all the time too. "

I think it's another of those "recovery paradoxes." When I help someone else, I'm the one who benefits the most.

"i lost that elated feeling that comes with sobriety"

In my town we call the elation of early sobriety the "pink cloud." Not everyone has it, but it always dissipates as the novelty wears off and the day-to-day-ness of recovery sets in.

As you have wrung the alcohol out of your system and started to break some of the habits of thought you had drinking, the tears IMHO indicate that you have started to do the hard work of recovery, where the lasting benefits and true serenity originate. Tears show genuine emotion, true feelings. They are a signal you are getting honest with yourself and with others.

It is not fun or pleasant to live through -- but I have no doubt that you are exactly where you need to be and doing what you need to do!

deleted_user 03/04/2008

I think when people are able to genuinely share emotions in such a manner it is touching. YOu put yourself in a vulnerable position, if anything, that is brave of you. No person worth 2 cent would think any less of you-like it has been said, you are there to heal.

deleted_user 03/04/2008

That's good that you cry,it helps the healing that is going on inside. Just let it out and be yourself. I am proud of you too. Congrat. on the 5 mths.People understand more than you think. I use to have to get up to the podium when I lived in Ohio and read something to the group and inside I was shaking. Others who had more time in looked really relaxed but not me. Oh well, at least I tried. They understood too. After awhile it stopped bothering me. Ask your Higher Power for strength and also to help you forgive yourself. The past is over, forgive yourself and remember you can help others with your past too.(NO MATTER HOW FAR DOWN THE SCALE WE HAVE GONE, WE WILL SEE HOW OUR EXPERIENCE CAN HELP OTHERS). One of the promises. It will be okay. Just keep going to those meetings too.Your also helping others there even if you don't know it.

deleted_user 03/04/2008

How great for you that your pink cloud is gone! Now comes the fun part and yes, there will likely be lots of tears as you move ahead. FYI - I was so ashamed of my actions during my drinking that I didn't show up for my first 5th step with my sponsor. When I finally got through it (sobbing most of the way) he laughed and told me that my fifth step was no worse than anyone else's he had heard and that one day my darkest secrets would become my greatest assets in recovery. He was right and now all those horrible things done to me and by me are just sad memories. Best part now is that I have heard a few other people's fifth steps I realize that my story is no worse than anyone else's and that I truly belong in AA. Hang in there!

deleted_user 03/04/2008

It is okay to cry at meetings. Crying is normal and healthy for someone in reovery. It cleanses the soul. In time you will see that those people at the meetings are not strangers, but family. What helped me to deal with my guilt over the past was working a fourth step with an awesome sponsor. God bless you, and don't give up on those meetings.

deleted_user 03/04/2008

I cried at my first meeting and I'm still crying five months later although not nearly as often. I bought tissues to set on the tables and made sure I sat by one of the boxes.

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