Drugs or alcohol definitely blocks my heart from the sunshine of the spirit. It's hard to catch what's being revealed when I'm crocked.

my hp is a guardian angel and that would be my grandfather that was like father to me. when I am upset or confussed I think to myself what would my grandfather want me to do about this. he was true and honest man and he wanted me to have a happy life and I know that he wouldnt want me back where I was. I loved him more then anything because in my eyes he was the only one that cared about me growing up. he passed away while I was heavy in my drinking and ising days and I never really had any closeure with this untill I did my 4th and 5th step. he is my whole world right now and he keeps me on my toes.

wow is all I can say. Ty for sharing that. I guess you cant have that if your hp is a light bulb, door knob or ash tray.

My hp concept is similar to yours loved1. He is everywhere at all times. He is loving, forgiving and tolerant of my b.s. He is everything that I am not and hope to be. He loves all regardless of if they acknowledge him or not. He does not condemn other religions. He speaks through other alcoholics/addicts and normies too. He helps me handle life on life's terms. He gives me my strength.

I do not have a higher power. The only one that I can blame if I drink or not is "ME"

Spectacular Loved1, That was good.

My belief in God has always been there, somewhere, ever since I was a small child.

I have always been aware I had the fundamental inner feeling that there was a great creator of our universe. It was an instinct I naturally found within myself.
I didn't give it much more thought than that until I found AA.

Religion did not impact on my life at all but I would find myself saying silent prayers to "God" - when feeling deep emotions like fear and need and want. I knew for sure this was a basic instinct and natural at these times. I also would make expression of gratitude to God for the amazing things that happened to me or I experienced.

When I came to AA and realised I had this insanity where alcohol was concerned and that only a spiritual experience would save an alcoholic like me, I was very open to exploring my feelings further and developing my God-conciousness.

That was not hard to do - I had the voice of my own conscience always which I often chose to ignore, all I had to do was open my receptive mind to this power greater than myself through prayer and meditation.

I know that when I opened my heart and mind to God good things happened for me inwardly and I was suddenly free to escape the trap I had been in.

I will not go into great detail here about my personal concept of God as it is truly personal and not something I could define in so many words.

I am painfully aware that my own devices failed me - utterly, better then to not put my hope and trust in myself but in a universal force and energy for the good - God.

It is better to believe in something than nothing. Nothing is hopeless and empty and makes no sense. I can't rely on myself entirely because I am not all-knowing or all-good and nor is any other human being.

To trust and believe in God is, I believe, to be as morally good as we can be and strive to be so that is a positive end in itself.

We can hardly deal with fear effectively if we have no God to believe in or some "higher unknown purpose and order of things".

I would rather have the comfort of my evolving faith as my life comes to its end for who can say what awaits our souls after death.

If I have faith it will encourage me to make my small difference where I can in the world and believe in the positive relevance of good and kind acts to balance the hopeless and negative feelings caused by the evil that exists in this world.

Faith is empowering - little miracles happen every day which I believe are a testament of God's force in the world.

I think about random acts like a human being instinctively putting put their life in danger to save a stranger, look how people rally together in the face of great disaster, think about the superhuman strength given to a person who endures beyond the endurable for the greater good (I know real examples of this) Also think of love and its actions.

Where does all this come from and why is it so? It is not logical - logical would be to save our own skins first and ensure our own gain.

This has got to be a force of God - goodness "humanity" and love is a force. I believe God can work through people and there are many of God's messengers on this earth just as there are many perpetrators of evil. These two forces are diametrically opposed.

I am with God as He is with me and all who believe. Changes have happened in me, these have made me a far better person.

I commune with God as my saviour and that has made all the difference, and given me the first real peace of mind I have ever known. I no longer have an aching loneliness in my soul.

As the Big Book says, God does not make too hard terms for those who seek Him.

I found that to be true for me.