I do believe you really want to quit. Years ago I had gone about 2 months sober, then relapsed again. Now I am just about 2 weeks sober. I do fear that your story will become my story, as i know at some point in the future I will be seriously tempted and I don't know for sure how I will handle it. My best advice is to not let your memories fade and be sure to remember all of the negative consequences that have come with your drinking. If you can keep these in mind - even write them down now if you need to - then it will serve as a good reminder as to why you should not allow yourself to return to drinking, even if it is only for a couple of days. It's not fair, but some of us just aren't wired to handle alcohol responsibly. I hope you can stay away from it for good.

Hello ezra238,

Regardless of whether you are an everyday drinker or someone who binges every few months, if breaking the cycle has become a problem, then the same sort of solution will apply. It involves bringing about a change in your attitudes, opinions and outlook so that no matter what happens in life, alcohol will not be the answer.

How you bring about that personality change is often a hot topic of debate and there is no doubt more than one way of doing it. When I lost control over alcohol I could not find any other way so I went to AA meetings. AA has given me sobriety but also a lot more and I will be forever grateful.

I do not have the right to tell you what you should do but that is what I did, and up until tonight it has continued to work for me. Tomorrow is a new day but I shall approach it with hope and confidence.

I was good at quitting just not so good at staying quit. I found that alcohol was a pressure relief valve. I just needed to find other ways to lower the pressure. I found going to a group and asking. For help was the watershed moment for me. I now have a network that I can call on. I can see the disease in the ppl that are still actively drinking.

Nothing changes if nothing changes. Go out and make it happen. It is possible

1is2many

I also relapsed several times after quitting drinking for a few months at a time. What has helped me is regular attendance at AA meetings and having the support of a network of sober friends and a good sponsor. There is no substitute for working the 12 steps.

binge drinking was my MO...I could go for long times without alcohol....but when I drank I got drunk...very drunk....

so to keep the plug in the jug you might find 100s of suggested ways....I am sober because I got introduced to AA.....20+yrs sober now....but I repelled from AA for a long time which I could possibly have many more years sober if I had returned to AA after my first meeting in 1982....but it was 9yrs before second meeting then another few more years before getting sober on
Guam...AA is world wide and it is work....no joyride thru 12 steps for most good drunks....we do not want to do these things but they proved to me that I do not need to drink today...for that I am grateful and when I wake up tomorrow I hope Im able to stay sober another 24hrs....hugs

I remember when I was in this vicious cycle of drinking and relapsing over and over and over. My doctor refered me to an outpatient program which was only 4 hours a day and fit into my busy schedule quite easily since I picked the one that met during the evening hours.

In the iop, I learned what my triggers were. One of them was my low self esteem and depression plus some ptsd. I was treated and cured of those emotional issues and it gave me the foundation to live a happy sober lifestyle. It was an extremely, rewarding experience and although I was nervous on the first day, I could easily see that this was the beginning of a better life for me!

Just a suggestion but maybe an IOP will help you break the cycle.

God Bless "

I find that having people I am accountable to helps me. I have been to a few parties and on a vacation since stopping and I told my sponsor there was drinking and also my husband. I don't like to let others down so this helps me. I also always have a plan B or several that helps me get through those kinds of situations

Dont be to hard on yourself. Think of the times you were sober and how proud and good you felt. I believe you want to complete abstinence, i do. Use all the supports you can get, and yes write about the negative and positive things about being sober and drunk. Sober will always have more positives.. Never give up, giving up. Its worth it!
Life is too short to be in that terrible cycle. Go for it, i am.

Hi there and welcome. I know that cycle well. I too was in that hell for about 5 years before getting so sick of being sick that the fear and unknown of admission was better than the soul sucking sickness that my active alcoholism -- was.
So my only words of encouragement are hurry up and lose. lose the "battle" and surrender to recovery. For me that meant AA in large doses --- meetings every day; a sponsor; working the steps; getting into service. Seemed overwhelming but once you get into it, a day and a minute at a time, its totally DO ABLE. So do it.
Go to a meeting. Raise your hand. Just say you are new and trying to figure it out. The fellowship will help direct you from there.

I too have several relapses on my journey to finding recovery. It took me a long time to get back to the path of peace, hope and serenity. That was 8 year ago. It will be 9 in July. I have not a doubt in my mind that I will achieve that goal. This is not arrogance. I have confidence in the my HP and the program of AA.

After each relapse I did something different to improve my chances to find recovery. Instead of getting meeting 5 mins. before they started I arrived 15-30 min. and staying about the same amount of time after the meeting was over. By doing this I found the fellowship of AA. The interacting with other who wanted recovery. I read the literature, work the steps and lived by the traditions. However I discovered I had not made a commitment to recovery.

That last time I used I did just that through prayer. I also face what Tina needed to do to stay in recovery. And my commitment was not made to any particular group it was made to God. With that I develop a foundation for my recovery to be built upon:
Step 1,2,3, the 7th tradition and the following statement "if we are painstaking about this phase of our development"
The principle and concepts from the above have guided, urged and encourage me to seek what I need to stay sober. This include working with a sponsor, attending meetings:f2f and e-meetings and being of service. I did a great deal of this while of was a trucker.

My "wanting to be sober" had to manifest itself into actions. The actions I need to take are found in "How It Works" chapter 5 of the BB. Oh yes and I change playmates and playgrounds. Changing playgrounds was a challenge since I had play place is 10 plus states in the US. I set up a support network. It consisted of at least 5 individual who would hear from me at least once a week while I was on the road. They each had the others phone number. Plus God blessed me with a facebook friend who was in recovery.
The program works: I HAVE TO WORK IT!!!!!

I pray you find a word, phase, principle you can make yours. Providing you a spring board to recovery. Giving you the opportunity to land firmly in hope, peace and serenity.
God be with
Tina