Alcoholism Support Group
Alcoholism is the continued consumption of alcoholic beverages, even when it is negatively affecting your health, work, relationships and life. If you think alcohol is causing you to lose control, it's time to seek help. Our group is a safe place to vent, check in, get back up if you fall, and reach sobriety.
I have heard we are not a glum lot lets see.lol
God Bless...
Lionel.
A little girl was sitting on her grandfather's lap as he read her a bedtime story.
From time to time, she would take her eyes off the book and reach up to touch his wrinkled cheek. She was alternately stroking her own cheek, then his again.
Finally she spoke up, "Grandpa, did God make you?"
"Yes, sweetheart," he answered, "God made me a long time ago."
"Oh," she paused, "grandpa, did God make me too?"
"Yes, indeed, honey," he said, "God made you just a little while ago."
Feeling their respective faces again, she observed, "God's getting better at it, isn't he ?"
Three men were sitting on a park bench. The one in the middle was reading a newspaper; the others were pretending to fish. They baited imaginary hooks, cast lines, and reeled in their catch.
A passing policeman stopped to watch the spectacle and asked the man in the middle if he new the other two.
Oh yes he said. They re my friends.
In that case, warned the officer, youd better get them out of here!
Yes, sir the man replied, and he began rowing furiously
We absolutely insist on enjoying life."
(pg 132, The Big Book Of Alcoholics Anonymous)
God Bless...
Lionel.
A little girl was sitting on her grandfather's lap as he read her a bedtime story.
From time to time, she would take her eyes off the book and reach up to touch his wrinkled cheek. She was alternately stroking her own cheek, then his again.
Finally she spoke up, "Grandpa, did God make you?"
"Yes, sweetheart," he answered, "God made me a long time ago."
"Oh," she paused, "grandpa, did God make me too?"
"Yes, indeed, honey," he said, "God made you just a little while ago."
Feeling their respective faces again, she observed, "God's getting better at it, isn't he ?"
Three men were sitting on a park bench. The one in the middle was reading a newspaper; the others were pretending to fish. They baited imaginary hooks, cast lines, and reeled in their catch.
A passing policeman stopped to watch the spectacle and asked the man in the middle if he new the other two.
Oh yes he said. They re my friends.
In that case, warned the officer, youd better get them out of here!
Yes, sir the man replied, and he began rowing furiously
We absolutely insist on enjoying life."
(pg 132, The Big Book Of Alcoholics Anonymous)
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I invited Bill to have dinner with me last Sunday. He wasn't willing to drive 7 hours to mid Michigan and teased me with his beautiful ribs!!! So, of course I ate alone and had cedar salmon
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check out that smoke ring. It tasted really good. I smothered it with Maulls BBQ sauce which is Local to St. Louis and one of the best I ever had.....
P
Apparently the jokes on me today, it's been one of those days :)
P
One Sunday morning, Satan appeared before a small town congregation. Everyone started screaming and running for the front church door, trampling each other in a frantic effort to get away.
Soon, everyone was gone, except for an elderly gentleman who sat calmly. Satan walked up to the man and said, "Don't you know who I am?"
The man replied, "Yep, sure do."
Satan asked, "Aren't you going to run?"
"Nope, sure ain't," said the man.
Perturbed, Satan asked, "Why aren't you afraid of me?"
The man calmly replied, "Been married to your sister for over 48 years."
Thanks for the jokes Lionel. Every day should start out with a smile!
God Bless...
Lionel
www.youtube.com/watch?v=WSdze_yYeKc
SPONSORSHIP
A man in a hot air balloon realized that he was lost. He reduced altitude and spotted another man below. He descended a bit more and shouted, "Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I dont know where I am." The man below replied, "Youre in a hot air ball hovering approximately 30 feet above the ground. Youre between 40 and 41 degrees north latitude and between 59 and 60 degrees west longitude." "You must be a sponsor," said the balloonist. "I am," replied the man, "how did you know?" "Well," answered the balloonists, "everything you told me is, technically correct, but Ive no idea what to make of your information, and the fact is Im still lost. Frankly, youve not been much help at all. If anything, youve delayed my trip." The man below responded, "You must be a sponsee" "I am,: replied the balloonist, "but how did you know?" "Well," said the man, "you dont know where you are or where youre going. You have risen to where you are due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise, which youve no idea how to keep, and you expect other people to solve your problems. The fact is you are in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but now, somehow, its my fault."
THINGS THAT ARE DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:
> 1. Innovative
> 2. Preliminary
> 3. Proliferation
> 4.! Cinnamon
>
> THINGS THAT ARE VERY DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:
> 1. Specificity
> 2. British Constitution
> 3. Passive-aggressive disorder
>
> THINGS THAT ARE DOWNRIGHT IMPOSSIBLE TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:
> 1. Thanks, but I don't want to have sex.
> 2. Nope, no more beer for me.
> 3. Sorry, but you're not really my type.
> 4. Good evening, officer. Isn't it lovely out tonight?
> 5. Oh, I couldn't. No one wants to hear me sing.
Whiskey Baked Turkey
First, buy the turkey and a bottle of whiskey. Pour yourself a glass of whiskey and put the turkey in the oven. ... Take another 2 drinks of whiskey, and set the degree at 375 ovens. Have 3 more whiskeys of drink and turn the oven on. Take 4 whisks of drinky and turk the bastey. Park Stick a turkey in the thermometer, and glass yourself a pour of whiskey. Bake the whiskey for 4 hours, take the oven out of the turkey, and floor the turkey up off the pick. Pour yourself another glass of turkey. Now just tet the sable, and turk the carvey! yur vari walcum!! :-)) hic!
Just when I am about to cook some scones and patty cakes for the grandchildren I'll be thinking about Whiskey Baked Turkey PP what have you done he he he.lol
God Bless...
Lionel
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"Oh shutup! I'm sick of you chess nuts boasting in an open foyer!"
A seal walks into a club....
P
See if I can repair my karma with this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch%3Fv%3Dfl6Q602xLZg