After I recite the first step to myself, it's not really hitting home like it could be these days.  I am not really believing in a power greater than myself either.  I still can decide to turn my life and will over daily with the serenity prayer though even if I am not really feeling God right now.  

In my inventory, yes I am resentful pretty much daily, for petty reasons however, which never have to be a big deal, and yes all my resentment stems from fears that financially I am not doing as well as I can, self-esteem wise I want to crack a few heads because of their insensitivity to the life God gave me, and the plan he has for me going forward, wanting to crack heads can tell you how well I am doing in personal relationships, not very good, and toes stepping on really has become a desire to foot stomp for me.  I won't even get into my sex relations, let's just say, they could be better.  lol.  

Knowing my instincts are kind of running a show on their own, knowing that my second step could be a little more concentrated, tells me I am angry, not as humble as I like to be, probably fighting off some real guilt issues I have not matured enough away from, and overall not concerned or caring enough about other's lives to have to be lived as well.  

No problem, no big deal, nothing to lose sleep over, or nothing to drink over, nothing to fantasize about being overly problematic for others over, and it's all very simple, I am becoming entirely ready to have God remove defect from my life, which by the way will also be a life long process, and I don't have any clue when life will conclude for me.  

So, now can I humbly ask a God at which step two is difficult for me today, to remove shortcoming?  I can ask God anything, it was fundamentally given to me at birth just like everyone else, so yes I can.  

Can I now make a list, or review my original list of people I had harmed, have harmed and will probably harm in the future?  I can, but will I, probably not, because I am struggling with the resenting too much today, but I know what to do with that, I just have to realize others aren't perfect, even if they are trapped in a mind frame that constantly suggest they are, and I have to see where I share in defect with them.  

Can I make direct amends to them, if I can, if the opportunity is there, and if no one will be harmed in the process?  I wouldn't bet on myself today doing that, but it is possible for humans to do so, that's as good as I can do today.  

Can I continue to take inventory and when wrong promplty admit it?  I am really struggling with doing decades of work towards "right and wrong" and then having to deal with others who have a different opinion of what their "right and wrong" will be, so I can do inventory, I might not be able to believe I am defective enough though, when I compare my work to their actions, which I would bet have involved not enough work.  So I am struggling very much with seeing my side of the street, but it's not a big deal, God let's me know when I am wrong, all the time when I am, and so far, he's just kind of not needed to interject.  When I inventory that, it is kind of confusing because the people I am resenting keep arguing that I need to feel some sort of way about my plan and who I am, but God, who I admit might not be the biggest fan of how I utilize my own personal freedoms, hasn't had to use his power on me to get me to see if I am doing anything wrong.  I think the only thing I can think of that I did wrong yesterday for example is neglect something in my conscious that told me my car was a bit too dirty for others.  If I were to just accept that and see it as it was, no problem, but I have to say, others are wrong, and then fight them, and I can see how that is wrong, or at least no necessary to be happy.  

I know God does not discriminate, he is so powerful that he will allow anyone to tap into his love and power at any moment of the day despite their minds or egos telling them so.  Can I consciously contact God, through prayer and meditation today?  I could if I wanted to, but I don't want to, and that tells me since I am struggling with step 2, that I really have a problem with God, and that is a degrade of who I am, because I also know that God was the direct provider of the grace it took for me to not drink anymore.  

I can try to spread a message though, considerate of the grace and power, I am not a fool, God does create grace, and God is all power, so I am just being a human again, in fact being cared and loved for by God, like the 3rd step suggests.  

Have a great day.