kacylynn, you put your kids first in front of your fiance. They are relying on a responsible adult to protect them and that doesn't sound like your fiance at the moment yeah. Seriously listen to your instincts. If you are afraid he may harm you or the kids, get out now. Nothing is more important than your children and your welfare.

Why are you just short of leaving him? Go to Al-Anon, his problem might be affecting you more than you think if you are willing to put your children through this.

Work yourself up to leave him to save yourself and your children.

I know some people feel like failures when they quit a relationship, especially an engagement. But in this case..you would be a winner if you could muster up the strength to leave. It would be the greatest LOVE of all for him, yourself and your children,

Hello kacylynn78,

There are loud alarm bells ringing here and you would be well advised to listen. Your children should not be exposed to this type of behaviour and your first responsibility is to them. You are afraid this man is going to hurt you and your next responsibility is to look after your own safety and well-being.

If you choose to continue with your fiance there are several possible outcomes. The first one is that he may recognise that he has a problem and seek help but it doesnt look like that is going to happen any time soon. If you choose to stay with him you may be setting yourself up for a life of misery and hardship. Al-Anon will show you how to live with an alcoholic family member and how to avoid making the mistakes that are common in such situations. You can then choose whether to commit your future to this man or whether it would be better to walk away.

You have some serious thinking to do and your decision is going to affect your children as well as yourself. Even if your fiance promises to change his ways you cannot judge him on promises alone his actions will speak louder than words. At the very least it may be best if you separate from him until you are convinced that he is honestly dealing with the problem.

You know what his drinking is doing to him but look at what his drinking is doing to YOU!

I can't emphasize enough what the others have said, you need to take care of yourself and your kids.

Look at it this way, his vodka is more important to him then the kids. I know this because my own dad drank and I feel bad for any child who has to grow up in an alcoholic home because the neglect of that parent affects them in a negative way for the rest of their lives, or until they get counselling! Believe me, you gotta get those kids out of that environment if you want them to have a prayer of a chance in life!

Do the responsible thing and if you need additional support then please google alanon meetings in your area. You are not alone.

Keep us posted and God Bless,

I have been watching Intervention on LMN on Tuesday nights. it probably might be something to consider to get him into treatment.

Its free I think. Anything we do to enable, protect, or help the addict is a from of codependant.

The way I see them handling it they give a choice either go into treatment or we can no longer be with each other. Maybe watch it and see what you think.

Oh I didn't read the part about abuse. If you fear this then he needs to get out. Abuse is zero tolerance.

Your children must come first. They rely on you for everything with the most important being their safety.

You list every reason you should be gone. What are you doing still there, exposing your kids to this situation. Are there any grandparents who could keep them until you decide to leave them.

You are not a victim, you are a volunteer. Your children are the victims here.

Frankly, I'd leave. He won't make any changes until he's ready -- if ever. In the meantime, you need to protect yourself and your kids. At this rate, he's at just as high a risk of injuring himself (by drinking himself to death) as he is to other people.