Alcoholism Support Group
Alcoholism is the continued consumption of alcoholic beverages, even when it is negatively affecting your health, work, relationships and life. If you think alcohol is causing you to lose control, it's time to seek help. Our group is a safe place to vent, check in, get back up if you fall, and reach sobriety.
My dad was an alcoholic, I think my husband was (now he is very conscious of his drinking) now I'm wondering about me! For a long time I would have only one drink to keep an eye on my husband's consumption, and avoid any arguing. We have a daughter who is 14 now and has witnessed some terrible arguing over his drinking, one time we even fled the house. She is very sensitive to knowing when I have had a drink as she can hear it in my voice, she has talked with me about it, one day after a night out for dinner, I had 2 cosmos, she was very angry the next day, told me she thinks she's going thru what she went thru with daddy!! She said, Mom, it's not the first time, you had too much to drink. My heart broke and I thought I was going to vomit!! We had a good heart to heart, I told her how sorry I was, etc. I did not have a drink for a few days. Then at the beach the 3 of us had lunch and I had a cold beer, that was it for the entire day and a few days to follow. Last night we had pizza and I had 2 drinks, although I was certainly not drunk, she was upset with me, cuz she could hear it in my voice. I don't know what to do!! ??? Part of me wants her to know that I can drink responsibly. Part of me is resentful, part of me wants to quit altogether, but I do enjoy wine with dinner, or the occasional drink. Please help!!!????
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Dick Van Dyke’s path to sobriety was a turning point in his life and career. Here’s what happened:How He Got SoberStruggles and Realization: Van Dyke began drinking as a teenager, largely to cope with shyness and social anxiety. Alcohol made him feel more comfortable in social settings, but over time, his drinking spiraled out of control. By his mid-40s, he recognized that he had an addictive...
This is a slippery slope and the only way for me IS to not start.
1is2many
The thing for me was the alcohol was the way i coped with life. The way I delt with a resentment was I drank it away. Prayerz
You said that you had "only one drink" to keep an eye on your husband. Does that mean that you didn't usually drink but had one because he was drinking or does that mean that you cut back from drinking more in order to stay relatively sober in order to avoid arguments?
I'm also not sure what your daughter means when she says "she can hear it in your voice." Do you get loud? Slur your words?
If there have been enough instances involving drinking with you and your spouse that it's creating problems for your daughter, it's time to examine what you're doing.
An even better example to set for you daughter would be to show her that you are able to NOT drink at all.
Good luck!
I also believe that if a person pours enough alcohol down their throat on an continual basis they will become addicted to alcohol, genetic predisposition or not.
Your drinking does not sound like alcoholic drinking to me. 1 to 2 drinks? Nevertheless I think your daughter is fearful that you will become problematic in your drinking as your husband was for awhile. If she is losing respect for you because of it then you will have to assess whether or not the habit is worth it to you or not.
By the way, even in normal drinkers who I know are not alcoholic, I can hear the change in their voices and see it in their demeanor how 1 or 2 drinks effects them. These changes are not just obvious in the alcoholic drinker. I hope things turn out for the best for you and your family.
Be mindful of why you drink. Maybe you don't need one or two anymore. Why?
It is understandable that your daughter should be worried about your drinking if she has witnessed a lot of drink related fighting and stress in the past. Drinking in moderation is a good thing and it is important that your daughter grows up with a healthy attitude to alcohol. There is nothing wrong with drinking responsibly for those who can do it and I think that is the message you should try to pass on.
It is wise to be aware of the dangers that come with alcohol consumption and this is something you can educate yourself about and discuss with your daughter. Many people who become alcoholics are not only experts at deceiving others but are even better at deceiving themselves. Few will realize that they have a problem with alcohol until it is too late. The path to alcoholism starts off with a slow and gradual change in thinking where drinking becomes more and more important in a persons life and eventually it becomes an obsession. If you find that you want to drink more often or if you are restless and moody if you cannot have a drink you may have cause for concern. Be honest with yourself and examine if you are sometimes taking a lot more than one or two drinks. There may also be a genetic component to alcoholism so you may need to be extra careful.
If you can honestly conclude that your drinking is limited to a glass of wine with dinner or the occasional drink at other times I would say that you have little to worry about. If dinner cannot be enjoyed without wine or if you regularly help yourself to a few more glasses, alarm bells should be ringing.
I have 15, 12, and 4 year old kids..
My older two saw me and my wife fight while drinking.
I'm so ashamed that I didn't send the right message to my kids, especially my one in high school.
Now I discuss alcohol all the time with them. I will celebrate two years in a couple of weeks and I'm proud to always be there.
Alcoholism is a progressive disease. There was probably a time I could have gotten it under control. My wife did. But I was too far gone.
I'm grateful I never have to take a drink again.
What more reason do you need to stop drinking??? Your daughter already had to deal with her father. Now she's got you, too. At her age, you are her role model and you can't put her in front of your own desires to have alcohol?
Drop to your knees and beg her forgiveness and tell her you are DONE with drinking even ONE DROP. Then go to AA or whatever you have to do.
Your daughter HAS to come first.
...I would never just have 1, so why go there? First of all, I probably had my fair share for me and a dozen others in a life time. It will cause problems and issues for me, my relationship with my Partner and it all trickles down from there. And I would have created this all myself.
I understand U are talking about booze, but it all creates unnecessary issues that we created ourselves. By not drinking alcohol, U R not missing out on any wonderful time, U just think U R.
Your dinner will still be enjoyable without wine. It's all under your control.
Drug and alcohol addicts do seem to be related a lot. As well as seek each other out, because of similar thinking and behavior patterns, IMO. Your father's alcoholic and your husband is alcoholic so there could be some connection there. Hopefully not, but I'd be very careful.
My opinion of alcohol is not very high, for normal drinkers as well as problem drinkers. Not everyone who gets a DUI or accidentally pregnant, or gets too drunk would be considered an alcoholic. It's the nature of alcohol to make people do dumb things. If it's causing you this much stress, might be best to stop completely.