Alcoholism Support Group
Alcoholism is the continued consumption of alcoholic beverages, even when it is negatively affecting your health, work, relationships and life. If you think alcohol is causing you to lose control, it's time to seek help. Our group is a safe place to vent, check in, get back up if you fall, and reach sobriety.
Been thinking about something Skyelar(my very opinionated teenage son) said to me a couple weeks back. It keeps coming to my mind. That he doesn't like to "brush things under the rug."
I keep thinking do I do that?
Is that what I do? I think I do. Is that bad?
Let's think.... my mom... terrible drunk, drugger. Better now but still a pill popper. As a mom she was not in my life much. As a child she was abusive to me. Throwed me over a bridge into the river when I was a baby. She was drunk and mad at my father. Said you want her. Here go save her. That was probably the worst thing she ever did to me. Good thing I don't remember. I have two older brothers and my oldest was the only child she cared for. Anyway.. there is all that. With her. I still try and have a relationship with her. Never bringing that stuff up. Brushing under rug.
As a child I was abused sexually by my Uncles. Yes plural. I lived with them and we acted normal. I still see them sometimes and I don't say anything about it. I brush it under rug. I don't hang around them. I try to avoid talking to them. Now but even after the abuse stopped and I became older I would still act as though nothing happened. My husband and kids know. Of course b/c I tell my kids to not go around them or be alone with them at family gatherings. (I go to 1 a year)
When anyone wants to talk to me about "what I did last night" I try to change the subject. Brush it under rug.
Pretty much anything I don't want to talk about I change the subject if I can & fast.
I brush things under the rug alot. Is this bad? Why do I do that?
I keep thinking do I do that?
Is that what I do? I think I do. Is that bad?
Let's think.... my mom... terrible drunk, drugger. Better now but still a pill popper. As a mom she was not in my life much. As a child she was abusive to me. Throwed me over a bridge into the river when I was a baby. She was drunk and mad at my father. Said you want her. Here go save her. That was probably the worst thing she ever did to me. Good thing I don't remember. I have two older brothers and my oldest was the only child she cared for. Anyway.. there is all that. With her. I still try and have a relationship with her. Never bringing that stuff up. Brushing under rug.
As a child I was abused sexually by my Uncles. Yes plural. I lived with them and we acted normal. I still see them sometimes and I don't say anything about it. I brush it under rug. I don't hang around them. I try to avoid talking to them. Now but even after the abuse stopped and I became older I would still act as though nothing happened. My husband and kids know. Of course b/c I tell my kids to not go around them or be alone with them at family gatherings. (I go to 1 a year)
When anyone wants to talk to me about "what I did last night" I try to change the subject. Brush it under rug.
Pretty much anything I don't want to talk about I change the subject if I can & fast.
I brush things under the rug alot. Is this bad? Why do I do that?
Generally, they don't seem very happy.
That said, on the other hand, if you do not deal with this stuff, it can fester inside of you. You might end up doing things to blot out the pain from your own mind -- like,perhaps... drinking excessively and becoming an alcoholic. And you certainly don't want your uncles or mom to think that what they did to you was okay. It was not okay. Not in any way, shape or form.
This sounds like an important revelation that you shared here with us. That maybe you need to face some of your past demons and recognize that you turn away from uncomfortableness and conflict. (Are you in counseling?)
Sounds like progress.
We all have our sordid past histories. As long as we live there, they have power over us. When we can look at them, see them for what they were, remove the blame and move on....we can be happy in the now. Till then we either live in yesterday or tomorrow. Either one doesnt seem particularly happy to me.
I have often thought about confronting past thinking it would be good for me. Decided against it for my own sake. The only thing that bothers me is I am sure my uncles didn't stop w me.
I tried therapy. Didn't care for it.
Should I sweep under the carpet what I do today, or what I did in the past? Experience tells me no. I like this quote, very AA:
"In all my deeds may I probe into my mind,
And as soon as mental and emotional afflictions arise-
As they endanger myself and others-
May I strongly confront them and avert them."
There was a lot of abuse on my Dad's side of the family - victims and perpetrators. Funnily enough, also a lot of Alcoholism.