Welcome to the group!

Yes, you are absolutely right! You are the writer and the main actor in the movie of your life. Ist scene, you are breaking up your relationship with alcohol who is out to take your money, and your health, and ruin your relationships. Being an alcoholic is like being on a one way train that's guaranteed to crash at the end of the line!

Your motivation will be your son. How do you want him to remember you? What do you want your legacy to be? These are questions that were asked of me while I was in outpatient treatment back in 2008. They really made me think....When I was drunk, I did not want to use my brain for thought. I just wanted to numb myself from the pain of a job I hated, a marriage on the rocks, and lots of other problems which I called collatteral damage which is a term used in war zones! My drinking and drugging caused lots of that.

When I stayed sober, Lots of good things happened in my life. I had money coming from places I never expected, I got a high paying job which gave me a chance to travel, and my relationships improved. Go to any aa meeting and they will tell you the same thing. Good things happen when we stay sober and they did in my life and still do. I no longer have a boss looking over my shoulder. I have my own business which has been very profitable despite covid....Good things happen when we stay sober and I never forget that!

Good luck on your road to recovery. May you find peace and happiness along the way.

God Bless

dump the drink and pick up an AA Big book and a computer to google AA.....then get butt out of house to AA meetings for the next eon....

You are the first person to reach out to me. Thank you so much! Right now I feel like I'm not really drowning, but just treading water. And thank you for sharing. I don't really want to go to meetings, even though I think it will be good for me. Small steps right now. Yesterday I went to a crawfish boil at a local bar. I had 2 beers. I left sober. That is phenomenal for me. Again, small steps. Thank you so much,again, for reaching out. God Bless you.

Thanks, billwfriend. I have thought about attending meetings. I'm a bit apprehensive. I'm a well known teacher in my community. Ive taught in a small town over 20 years. I am not opposed but scared.

if you want to live the delusion that you can continue to drink that is your business....if you want to stop drinking the answer I know is total abstinence....if you think you can walk the line between those two choices without ending up drunk well there is the delusion....good luck with being an alcoholic....when I was in high school I actually wanted to have an alcoholic black out....

just asking have you blacked out? where you cannot remember the night before?
sayonara.....

Welcome on board. Just know you are not alone, I am struggling with quitting, myself. I am aware of my actions now than I was before. I know now that alcohol gives me terrible anxiety which messes my mind up and I cannot afford to lose my mind. I take it one day at a time. I have been under a lot of pressure lately but I started the sobriety journey again. It's not easy at all, but when you are determined you can do it.

Don’t drink today….. it’s as simple as that. Step back and watch your habit mind argue with itself and try to over complicate and make deals, like it has a life of its own and is dragging you along against your will.
Seriously, step back and imagine you are watching yourself from a high vantage point and be honest with yourself about what you see.
If you’re like I was you’ll see what addiction looks like.
For me, the only way to be free of that constant pull was to make the decision to never let another drop of alcohol pass my lips again. Ever.
I look at it like this: I’ve had my lifetime amount of alcohol and it’s just glutinous to think I should have more.
Never again makes it easy for me. No more arguing or creating little plans to have a drink. Its been the first step to freedom. Once this acceptance shift happened in my mind some real healing followed.
When I admitted to myself that I was an alcoholic it gave me the Will to want something different. I started walking every day and eating better. Drinking more water and being gentle with myself. I’m not religious but my journey could be described as spiritual.
Mainly because I started to learn to love myself. That’s where the full abstinence can bring you. It’s shocking how dark alcohol makes life. I didn’t see it until a month later when my head began to clear.
After 4 years of sobriety I don’t label myself as anything to do with alcohol. It’s just not who I am anymore. The only time I talk about my experience is in this group. Mostly to encourage others to find the peace I have found with my sobriety and to remember that we’re all in this together.
For this world to have peace we all need to get to the shore and stop treading water out to sea. Health, real health starts with each and every one of us taking responsibility for ourselves.
Stay in touch, keep posting here to keep this issue real and present. The nature of addiction is avoidance and when those rare windows open up that we can be honest about what is going on then you have to seize that thought and see it through. Remember, you won’t get sober in the future, it needs to happen right now.

Congratulations on admitting that you have a problem with alcohol, next step is to do something about it & change your life so you get to be the best version of yourself & really get to live. We are all here for you and every single one of us has been in your shoes. Pm me if you want to talk - take care

I found that I was the type that put everyone and everything before myself and then there was nothing left of me.

The dichotomy is that alcoholics are super selfish and self centered at the core but outwardly are super giving. This causes some inner turmoil and the need to escape becomes paramount.

The 3 movie series of my life would include the crappy prequel filled with drama and heartache followed by a breakout story of a journey to understand my inner self ( without booze filter ) followed by the final closing masterpiece that I’m currently writing.

Know this , I tried many ways... but at the end of the day I found the way in a room full of other alchoholics.