Alcoholism Support Group
Alcoholism is the continued consumption of alcoholic beverages, even when it is negatively affecting your health, work, relationships and life. If you think alcohol is causing you to lose control, it's time to seek help. Our group is a safe place to vent, check in, get back up if you fall, and reach sobriety.
Hi, I'm writing to see if anyone has an advice/suggestions. My boyfriend is an alcoholic. He drinks everyday, at least 5-6 drinks. He has said, "I'm pretty sure I'm an alcoholic. I think life would be so much better if I didn't drink. I want to stop drinking. I've done it before, but once you have one drink again, it's over." My first worry is his health, mentally & physically. I know he feels a sense of worthlessness & depression. My second worry is our future. We've talked about marriage/kids, but I won't be able to continue much longer if he doesn't try & get help. I love him so much, but anytime anyone mentions him changing, he gets angry and usually says, "I know I drink too much, but now isn't the time to talk about that." There never will be a good time. I've avoided talking to him about it in fear he'll get his feelings hurt. But my feelings are hurt by all the accommodations he expects- most "dates" are spent at his house (so he can drink & won't be in public, I now realize), we don't go out to dinner ever, because eating at a normal time kills his buzz, he eats right before bed, if we're on vacation or happen to eat out at night, he wants to sit at the bar only. I've eaten so many meals at the bar. I'm tired, (I know he's tired too), I love him so much and there's so much more to him and us than this, but it's taking over. Any advice? Should I just approach him about getting help & hope for the best?
Hoping he will suddenly come to his senses will keep you trapped in this situation. Talk to him and you can expect the same reaction he has given to others who challenged his drinking.
I would suggest that as you are not yet married to this man and have no children, you may want to consider just walking away while you can. You cannot change him, it really is up to him.
The best thing you could do to deal with YOUR feelings is go to Al-Anon. You will meet people there who will help you with their own experience of having to deal with life affected by alcoholism.