Alcoholism Support Group
Alcoholism is the continued consumption of alcoholic beverages, even when it is negatively affecting your health, work, relationships and life. If you think alcohol is causing you to lose control, it's time to seek help. Our group is a safe place to vent, check in, get back up if you fall, and reach sobriety.
So today is day 67 for me and yesterday was a hard day.
I went to work and had a good day as always but my car kept making a terrible noise and it turns out it was the brake pads going. I was feeling on edge every time I drove it and all I could think was if it broke down I wont be able to go to work or to AA meetings which would leave me stuck in my small village an hour away from work or the closest meeting and the garage I go to is always busy so they couldnt fit me in because of my working hours. I was feeling like I was running out of options and when I went to my meeting last night the noisies were getting worse and so I bought a bottle of wine in a shop 5 minutes away from the meeting and made a deal with myself.."If the car breaks down Im going to drink it".
I then went to my favourite meeting last night and didnt enjoy it because I knew there was a bottle in my car which could also break down any minute that Im driving it but after I left the bottle on the side of a road and drove off without it because I knew it wasnt the answer and wouldnt make anything better if I drank it.
When I got home I told my mum who I live with and we agreed that today I should just call in sick which is the one thing I have never done in any job but I was so on edge and felt like my options were running out and I didnt want to be in a stiuation where I might drink again.
It has made me realise that Im not good with dealing with these situations as I just start to panic and dont think my options through and alcohol should NEVER be an option because it would have only made things worse if I drank it.
Having the wine in my car made me feel worse and once I got rid of it I did feel a huge sense of relief but Im worried about being in these situatiuons again at some point..
I went to work and had a good day as always but my car kept making a terrible noise and it turns out it was the brake pads going. I was feeling on edge every time I drove it and all I could think was if it broke down I wont be able to go to work or to AA meetings which would leave me stuck in my small village an hour away from work or the closest meeting and the garage I go to is always busy so they couldnt fit me in because of my working hours. I was feeling like I was running out of options and when I went to my meeting last night the noisies were getting worse and so I bought a bottle of wine in a shop 5 minutes away from the meeting and made a deal with myself.."If the car breaks down Im going to drink it".
I then went to my favourite meeting last night and didnt enjoy it because I knew there was a bottle in my car which could also break down any minute that Im driving it but after I left the bottle on the side of a road and drove off without it because I knew it wasnt the answer and wouldnt make anything better if I drank it.
When I got home I told my mum who I live with and we agreed that today I should just call in sick which is the one thing I have never done in any job but I was so on edge and felt like my options were running out and I didnt want to be in a stiuation where I might drink again.
It has made me realise that Im not good with dealing with these situations as I just start to panic and dont think my options through and alcohol should NEVER be an option because it would have only made things worse if I drank it.
Having the wine in my car made me feel worse and once I got rid of it I did feel a huge sense of relief but Im worried about being in these situatiuons again at some point..
One thing I can assure you is that you will be in stressful, anxiety provoking situations again, but each experience that you face will give you added confidence and skill with dealing with them. I often wonder what if this or that negative thing happens, how will I get through it? I get anxious about it and think I will not be able to handle things. Also, there are times I put things off and get myself pretty worked up about it. Sometimes I get tunnel vision and don't see all my options clearly. Anyway I get though the situations, usually much better than I thought I would.
Joey, there will be times when we blow situations out of proportion. It's what we do. Great that you put the bottle out, went home and got honest with another. That is so super great, you have made a pattern change, twice. the first, by not drinking and the second by going home and telling your mum. That is soo significant. That is a huge accomplishment and congratulations ! Really ! We are comfortable doing the same things, and when we do different, we summon courage and use it. Grateful for the hope you offer everyone.
Yes, I hope you took the day to get the brakes fixed and it seems you learned from this experience as well.
Your young and your coping skill that you have developed has been alcohol....you are now learning new coping skills (AA/Talking it out with loved ones or friends like us).....and that is a bonus for you.
I went too long using alcohol as my coping skill...about 22 years....keep training yourself....to do the right thing for JOEY. And it will get easier..you will look back at this day and get the flutters of how close you came...but you didn't do it and that is HUGE.
I think you also had the 3 month itch going on....Keep going "you got this" :)
"If the car brakes down, I'm going to drink wine." Welcome to Stinking Thinking, my friend. That's the disease talking.
Congrats on beating it. Even smarter for getting rid of that poison.
If you are capable of learning from your mistakes, you now know to never buy it again. It only messes with your head.
This is more about your anxiety than drinking... you clearly drink to self medicate... Ever try a holistic approach? It may help even out your emotions.
Yay, sobriety!