I relate Scarlet, at 40, I figured I would have all the things you mentioned: Savings, 401K, etc. "Later" has sneaked up on me, and I am living pay check to pay check, no savings, no nuttin' honey. Pretty sure the symptoms of alcoholism did not help me build a great future. I do feel like a failure sometimes when I see some of my friends who have worked very hard though out their life, and achieved material success. And sometimes I feel pissed that I "inherited" and pursued alcoholism, Like "Why me, feck!"

As I work my program, and I mean work it, not intellectualizing it, I am beginning to see how I can pick up the pieces of my life, find new definitions of success, and a renewed sense of my value in life. My value serves those whom I love and those whom I come in contact with. I am done trying to achieve society's definition of success(Not sure I ever wanted that anyway). I am aiming for my HP's definition of success. Yes, my children must have food,heat,clothing, shelter, etc. I trust that will all happen if I do the labor required. Nope, my kids probably won't get a new car at graduation, or a back packing trip through Europe, unless they work for it themselves. But what they do have is their Mom who is there for them 100% because I am sober. They have a person who they can talk to about anything, an advocate, and a Mom who can see beyond the surface of life providing them useful advice. I have the ability to care for my Mom who is disabled. I have a few life long friends. I could go on and on, but you get the point. Those are all things, that when I am on my deathbed, I can reflect upon and feel peace.

Also, you never know who's life you can touch when you have overcome hardships and live to offer Hope. Sometimes we are unaware of the help we offer to someone in need. Those moments are meaningful and valuable! I know people that have literally saved my life by just being a Light to me.

Life to me is all about Love. Not only romantic love, but love for our fellow humans. Its about contributing to the human race, not taking all I can from it. When you have that outlook, life looks cleaner, brighter, exciting, and Hopeful!

I am a Work In Progress, so that's what I have so far. I would love to hear from others too on this topic!!

of all my accomplishment.... TRUTH my sobriety is the only one that means much to me.

good post . i can relate to wat u say as at 23yrs old i should be out there with a job, college, a flat everything a young person should be doing, i have dreams as a career but because of my criminal record it will be hard to get a job so quickly, if i had a interview for instance and someone was also going for the job with a clean record, more than 100 % that person would get the job ... due to obvious reasons...

i do sit on get down about that but i have to think what i have got - my FREEDOM... as i spent many years in and out of prison i took life for granted.... i have a house to live in and loving parents....and friends who care.. EVEN JUST NOT DRINKING for me is a success coz i remember i couldnt last a day when i couldnt drink...

sometimes i dont know where im going to be honest but i think i am where im supposed to be... anything else that happens good to me is a bonus i think...

this post has giving me a lot to to think about.. thanks