Don’t give up. Find out what was the trigger and try to prevent it from happening again. If you are looking for support come here or join a group and get a sponsor. When I am at my wits end I know one person has my back and she has saved me countless times. Forgive yourself and start again

Hello shortchick92,

When a kid tries to ride a bike for the first time, there will be many painful falls, but by getting back on that bike and trying again, it soon becomes second nature. Learning to drive a car is a bit more difficult and without help from an experienced driver, it often seems impossible. Yet, even the most hopeless learner driver eventually gets a grip on driving, provided that he or she has the right guidance.

Maybe you need that little bit of help too. DS is a great resource but you cannot beat having a face to face conversation with people who understand your struggles.

If I were in your place, I would go to AA meetings.

Hi Shortchick92
I think if you read the different stories of the members in this group you will find that you are not alone in your struggles and so many of us have slipped up and had to start again. Like msmermaid said, forgive yourself and surround yourself with supportive people.

I would also go to AA meetings. Failures in recovery, are in a delusion that there is even a problem, so you are not a failure, this is your opportunity to get back up, it's not how we fall, it is how we stand up.

I would also read the big book. Reading the big book might seem tiring, and hard at the beginning, but if I can also use PJ's reference, with the bike, the more you do it the easier and natural it becomes. The more you read the big book, the more spiritual you become, and the more spiritual you become, the more purpose and understanding you'll have to manage a life that doesn't consider or need drinking to get through the day or hard times.

I would also talk to the angel or sponsor God has waiting for you at the local AA group you go to, if you decide to take PJ's suggestion and give it a try.

I would say a simple prayer of "God please help me stay sober and sane today" to start your day from here on.

Lastly I would treat others like you would want them to treat you, and forgive yourself, more successes have come out of failure for those in recovery, than anything else, we all won't admit it, but we all come to a point where we start to succeed after our failures in recovery. You're in good company, plenty of Spiritual Giants in AA, were utter and hopeless failures at the beginning, but they didn't look at themselves that way, they looked at themselves as just needed a little help from others and God.

When you have a full blown relapse, you keep on drinking but what you had was a slip, which means you know what triggered the slip and you are making positive changes in your life so it doesn't happen again!'

God Bless

I could tell you were really struggling in your last post and sorry to read of your relapse. I relapsed about three times before this final attempt took, just over five months ago. I think the difference was admitting that I was powerless over alcohol, that I didn't have the skills to do it on my own and utilizing the support available at AA and Refuge Recovery. It makes all the difference knowing you're not the only one struggling and to get the personal support that we can't always provide here. Wishing you the best!

I am at the very beginning of this journey to get well after several years of alcohol abuse. Wow I can't even believe that I just said I abuse alcohol! After 5 perfect alcohol free days I also slipped last night and had 3 drinks. The difference this morning is that I feel like I have a lot of support from people who have the same problem and the first thing I did was pour some coffee and connect with all of you.

Yesterday is gone, today is a brand new day, enjoy!

I failed for a good 10 years. I never drank again after my first meeting. I surrendered and worked the program.

Hello shortchick92,

How are you doing now?

lets first address support... I understand trying to do something on your own- doesn't work real well.
when we have an issue with controlling how much alcohol or whatever else that could become harmful in our life- we must look at the feelings we are trying to escape- what is the root cause?
do you have a celebrate recovery in your area??
I now have 3 years sober- but before I became completely absent I learned I was using things to numb feelings- trying to escape and change how I felt with food, alcohol, sex, reading so many things just to avoid the emotions- that's when healing finally began-everytime I was reaching for a candy bar or drink- I'd ask myself why and stopped from consuming it if I was avoiding something... and then I'd pray instead asking for strength to face the emotion and then after a year of doing that I decided I needed to stop drinking altogether. one drink isn't bad if you're not using it to escape and if you can stop at just one.... I can stop at one but then after one another is craved and before long I am having more than one- especially when stressed... I clean house now to work through the stress... prayers and here to be a support but you need local support and I pray you find it.