Hi....good to see you, and happy that you posted. Congratulations on your days of sobriety. Many years ago in al-anon a wise woman told me this phrase which has helped me, as I hope it will help you.

When the pain of where you are is greater than the fear of where you are going that is when you will make a change.

You've Done This Work: with education, family and now For Yourself To Find Your Way Through Strength Of Sobriety. No, not easy, be gentle with yourself, taking care of body and mind...and meetings <3

did you make any calls to AA? They should tell you where the meeting that is close to you are held on what days,....I suggest the support of AA....it helped me for over 30yrs....

Congratulations on 22 days. That may not sound like much to someone who has never struggled with alcohol, but those of us who have know that 22 days can feel like climbing a mountain one step at a time.

You are also dealing with a crushing loss, and that makes what you're doing even harder. Alcohol can seem like it numbs the pain, but in my experience it only postpones it. The pain is still there waiting for us, often a little bigger than when we left it.

One thing I learned is that early sobriety can be a fragile time. It was for me. I needed support from people who understood what I was going through. That's why I strongly recommend Alcoholics Anonymous or another recovery group if you are not already involved. There is something powerful about sitting with people who have been where you are and hearing, "I understand."

You don't have to solve the rest of your life today. You don't have to figure out how you'll stay sober forever. Just focus on today. Sometimes, especially in early sobriety, it's one hour at a time.

Be gentle with yourself. You're grieving, you're healing, and you're doing something courageous.

Keep reaching out. Isolation is where addiction grows stronger. Connection is where recovery grows stronger.

I'm glad you're here, and I'm rooting for you.

I keep telling myself that I'll wake up from this nightmare and my baby girl will be back in my arms where she belongs but I also know she wouldn't want me to face the rest of my life without her upside down in a bottle. I didn't know this kind of pain existed. She would want me to find the comfort but not like that. Most days I pretend I'm okay but there are others I struggle to get out of bed. And always calling me is that bottle. How do I get in touch with AA?

I keep telling myself that I'll wake up from this nightmare and my baby girl will be back in my arms where she belongs but I also know she wouldn't want me to face the rest of my life without her upside down in a bottle. I didn't know this kind of pain existed. She would want me to find the comfort but not like that. Most days I pretend I'm okay but there are others I struggle to get out of bed. And always calling me is that bottle. How do I get in touch with AA?

I don't know if you know about chatgpt.com...Bob gave the site to me and I've been using it as a therapist...type in your city for AA meetings...usually they are located at churches.

Blue Book AA https://lacoaa.org/files/aa_big_book.pdf

Keep posting,
We All All here to do our best to support you!!
Hugs <3