I remember when I was in detox, I was sitting in the lounge waiting for my turn with the doctor and to pass the time, I was flipping through some reading material on the coffee table. I came across this book called, "The 12 steps for everyone, who really wants them, by Jerry Hirschfield. It is the AA 12 steps adapted for EHA (Emotional Health Anonymous) The book walks you through each of the steps in easy to understand language fully explaining how to do each one. It accurately described how to heal our souls so we won't have to deal with anxiety and depression which trigger our drinking. I gave away my last copy but you can buy it on amazon for a few dollars used. I highly recommend.

You can also give AA a second try. Get a sponsor and do the steps because those are what helps us deal with life. Just going to meetings alone, really doesn't work for most. It is in doing the steps which trigger positive changes in our lives. It worked for me and It will work for you, too, if you let it.

God Bless

Welcome back. There is good AA and sick AA. Hope your experiences dont keep you away from true sobriety that I found within good AA. Hugs bill

I hear you. I often bought a bottle after an AA meeting. It was also trigger for me. I tried secular groups. I did drink after meetings, but I found that groups didn't help me. I found my sobriety at Buddhist Dhama classes. The classes are not for my alcoholism, but it did the trick.The monk taught psychology at the university. You may find some therapy group would be good for you.
My advice is to try a non 12 step group

https://www.rehabs.com/pro-talk-articles/if-not-aa-then-what-alternatives-to-12-step-groups/
If groups are not you thing there are many self help books.
A therapist could help. Also ask your doctor for support for depression and anxiety.

Make friends on DS and write in the Journal Share the journal with your friends,

"Alcohol is my best friend"

I disagree.

Hello bethmuch,

It all depends on how badly you want sobriety. I had an intense dislike for AA, before I even went to a meeting and I swore I would never have anything to do with “that crowd”. When drinking got bad enough and everything else failed, I went to a meeting and have not had a drink since.

I have to admit that some AA meetings are less than useful, except for the support that can come from talking to other members, getting phone numbers etc.. That is not the fault of AA - it just depends on the level of knowledge and experience of the people who attend that particular meeting. What I have found is that if I approach a meeting with the thought of giving rather than expecting to take something, I go home feeling better.

There are also many good AA meetings, where the focus is on the way to recover from alcoholism. If recovery is what you desire, maybe you should try a few different meetings, maybe some Step or Big Book meetings.

If you feel that AA is not for you, there are other ways. Click on the link below for more information on alternatives to AA.

www.soberrecovery.com/addiction/5-popular-alternatives-to-alcoholics-anonymous-2/

Why did you make the title with an AA in Alcohol Dependence? After clearly wanting a title with attention drawn to AA, then bashing it in your post, couldn't you have just simply spelled Alcohol Dependence correct, then gone on to say the poor things about AA?

Were you baiting us to promote and preach how AA is so great and how you should go back, or keep going?

Alcoholics Anonymous is a resource that does work, but it won't work, if you lead with "it's not for me." Saying that, the majority of alcoholics I have worked with that either are recovery or have recovered were skeptical in the beginning.

"Alcohol is my best friend...it is not working." Some best friend, huh?

Think about that. Burn it into your memory. If it were working, it would be giving you power, you sound powerless over alcohol. Does alcohol give you power? What type of best friend robs you of power?

Define war stories? Do you mean people attempting to share their experiences? War stories are great, and they provide two truths for me, the first one is a person telling a war story is teaching me what not to do, and also is giving me someone sick to pray for. Do you go to AA to get rather than give? Define triggers? If you're convinced the alcohol won't work, that same convincing honestly will provide all you need from a "trigger."

If you're honest you'll have a force field around any double barreled Popov you might be fantasizing about in your mind. If you're honest, and you concede you cannot drink, or that you can drink, but it will automatically lead to a useless and worthless experience, no amount of war stories or triggers will bother you, it's just people, being people, doing the best they can.

Maybe God wants you to study the book and revolutionize the local meeting you attend that "sucks." Did you ever think of that? Maybe God wants you to jump into the book, making that your new best friend, and maybe you'll be responsible for 1000's of peoples change and recovery? Maybe your plan is to change the meeting from war stories to success stories and miracles?

Maybe you'll evolve into a great person who sees drinking as immature or for only the needy? Maybe you'll change so much your loved ones and friends will start asking you for advice or loans? Maybe you'll have everything you've ever wanted, alcohol-free, and maybe you'll grow into such a spiritual person you'll only want to love and give for others? Maybe you'll see, if you go to the meeting and read the book, that alcohol drinking really only forces dopamine into our experience that is naturally reserved for other activities with people our destiny are waiting for us to meet? Maybe we trigger ourselves and create our own wars when we drink alcohol? Maybe alcohol was only meant to be used for open wounds and cleaning purposes? Maybe the whole western world lost it's mind drinking? Maybe the eastern world hates us because we drink too much and that causes enemies, as a reaction? Maybe our best friend is our worst enemy?

Maybe we need to feel when alcohol is making us numb? Maybe we need to open our minds when alcohol is asking us to block it out? Maybe painful memories will help others to have pleasurable moments?

Maybe by the age of 50 you'll be a world wide superstar who can't afford to be drunk or miss the mark in anyway? Maybe you need to hear a war story or two so you can only focus on peace?

But what do I know? I'm just a babbling fucking alcoholic who nobody listens to.

At an AA meeting woman, who had 10 years sobriety spoke about her recent slip. Going home from an AA meeting she had an urge to buy a bottle of wine. She bought the bottle. When she got home she discovered that she did not ave a corkscrew. She dug the cork out with a knife. After the meeting I purchased a corkscrew and a bottle of wine for myself. Maybe I should not post this. The meeting was a trigger for me..

AA is based of the Christian Revival paradigm. If you every watch one of those revivals on TV you could see the connection. They tell their wear stories. It works for some people but it's not for me.

That doesn't me that you or I have to give up. We have the power to stop drinking. Will power is there to stop taking the first drink. Once we take the first drink will power is overridden, by the compulsion that is hard wired in the brain .

Thank you everyone for your replies to me as the feedback was helpful. I have my third individual therapy session on Tuesday and starting Smart Recovery meetings in the community as well. I think I may give AA another try also. I also want to address TailoSailor’s reply to my post and clarify my intentions to him and to the group as a whole. I mispelled alcohol in my post. It was nothing but a typo. I was not trying to incorporate the acronym for Alcoholics Anonymous to bait people to preach to me about returning to A.A. I also did not bash AA. I stated it was not for me. I even wrote “Nothing against AA.” I also never wrote that AA sucks. As for war stories, TailorSailor you know what I mean. I do find them triggering and also find that some stories tend to glorify past alcohol-related behavior. My post was a sincere attempt to reach out for help during what is right now the most difficult period of my life. I hope that as I get stronger I can be of help and support to all of you as well. Thank you.

AA isn't for everyone. The big book and 12 steps are not inline with my belief system, so AA is a waste of time for me. I hated the meetings too. But the good thing is that it doesn't matter! You can get and stay sober without it.

Good for you on taking steps to live sober.!Individual therapy has a good success rate and you might find SMART (which is based on cognitive-based therapy) to be useful as well.

Thank you ExJersey girl. My individual therapy is cognitive behavioral therapy based as well so I am hoping SMART Recovery will be a good fit.

There is a way to live and thrive without booze, you just must find the path that suits you.

Many paths lead up the mountain, the most important thing is you just get busy because when I’m bored I’m in trouble. I stay busy and have positive things in my life, there is no need to drink.

I had to find a replacement for drinking and AA has given me a program and new friends. Saved my life, as I was hooked on booze and just couldn’t get sober on my own

Get busy living

1is2many

That is what I am seeking. Another path that will bring happiness. Sad, to say that right now it only feels that booze does. But I had three years sobriety before and remember the joyous feeling of freedom and enjoying life in full. I want that back. But I do lack supports now. Divorced, lack of family supports and social supports. Need to build my support system. And hopefully will someday feel true joy, without the aid of alcohol. Thank you 1is2many

AA was my answer.