Yes, on both accounts. It helps you to find out what you want that fits you best for yourself as it relates to your marriage.

When I went to Al-anon I discovered what love is and what love is not. I realized that my alcoholic wife hated me. Many alcoholic mates love their spouses. Mine was not one of them. I had to see through her alcoholism.

The groups vary. I have tried groups that were of no help to me before I found one that was a good fit.

Alano helped me to understood myself plain and simple ,that really is all it is intended to do! Be it, Florida,Utah or Arizona as long as I was willing to understand I found those that could help see where I was at, at the time and challenged me to see it through with a workable understanding:)
Billy

Hello enoughisenough2,

Although I do not have any direct experience of dealing with Al-Anon, I think that like AA, it can be as helpful or unhelpful as you want it to be.

A person could go to an AA meeting every day of the week, listen to drinking stories and identify with them, bitch about life and other people, drink coffee and so much more and while he or she may feel better for a short while, they would not be tackling the cause of their drinking problem. Other action is required and in AA that action is through the Twelve Step programme of recovery. Similarly with Al-Anon, unless you become willing to make use of what they have to offer there will be little lasting benefit. That means stepping back from the blame game and the arguments about who is right or wrong and looking at how you can change you (the only person you can change) and learning how you can react differently to life.

From talking to other people who have been to Al-Anon, it seems that you need to seek out what you want and just like AA, some meetings are less valuable than others. That said, I believe that Al-Anon can offer a life-changing experience, providing that you are willing to go to any lengths to get it. You have an opportunity not just to learn how to deal with an alcoholic spouse but also to find a new way of dealing with life in general.

Here's a rather harsh but truthful set of talks You might find interesting ... I listen to them quite frequently ;it helps to remind me that life is complex and the only secret is just wanting something different and not getting caught up in my head or my emotions:))

Billy

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jW6WFkz6VHg&index=2&list=PLEC25151943DE0F35

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vXETnaD3Ho4 :)))

I don't have any real experience with Al-Anon, but I know a few others in AA that also go to Al-Anon. I think maybe I should go there myself. It seems the message is clear - you cannot change or "fix" anyone else. The only thing you can change is yourself.

It is all the same principle in Al-Anon and AA - a different way of viewing and living in this world.