In common parlance, altruism usually means helping another person without expecting material reward from that or other persons, although it may well entail the "internal" benefit of a "good feeling," sense of satisfaction, self-esteem, fulfillment of duty ( simply one's conscience), or the like. In this way one need not speculate on the motives of the altruist in question.
In the Greek language, there are 3 words for love, Agape: spiritual, Phileo: brotherly, and Eros: sensual. These last two, Phileo and Eros, are totally unpredictable in nature, having an air of expectation about them. Being imperfect and unreliable, our dependence on these two types of love creates much confusion and suffering in our life. Whereas, Agape, being perfect and unconditional by nature, is the type of love we can give away and remove our expectations of having it returned. The Agape groups, interwoven throughout Alcoholics Anonymous in many cities and states, use the following definition of Agape as the basis for their group conscience: "Spontaneous self-giving love, expressed freely, without calculation of cost to the giver, or merit on the part of the receiver."

We in the Agape groups realize that this is a difficult definition to live up to, and many of us fall short; however, we know and feel in our hearts that it is attainable, believing that with the help of our Higher Power all things are possible. Unfortunately, while trying to progress toward the spiritual goal of Agape love, we sometimes let ourselves open for ridicule and criticism. Our open display of love for another is sometimes unnerving for those who have not experienced our ways. We understand and remember many of the situations during our past way of living which had a tendency to close our minds to any open display of affection. Many of us had contempt for Agape prior to investigating it, and some of us simply could not handle it at first. Because we have been there, we are sure there are others who might have the same feelings today. To these people we of the Agape group simply say, "We love and need you and wait for you should you ever need us."

Essentially, Agape is AA. We use the 12 Steps and 12 Traditions, recite the Serenity Prayer and read the "How It Works" before every meeting. So what's the difference between Agape and AA? The only difference is the overarching focus on unconditional acceptance (Agape love) which creates an extremely safe and positive atmosphere in which to be oneself. This degree of safety provides an atmosphere where we are more likely to get into the often overlooked "nooks and crannies" and the "exact nature" of that which is preventing us from growing one day at a time.



Love is the "will" and "choice"

* to accept
* to support
* to care for
* to forgive
* to give
* to serve
* to nurture the growth of

others, for their well-being (not your own)

and is carried out in a way that is

* unconditional
* selfless
* sacrificial
* upbuilding

and expresses itself in the following behaviours:

* patience
* kindness
* respectfulness
* humility
* gentleness
* peacefulness
* tolerance
* fairness
* endurance
* loyalty