Just treat him the way you wanted to be treated during the early days of your recovery. You can't go wrong with that.

What SA said but I would also add.....don't walk on eggshells around him. Is he going to AA? Does he have another recovery method in mind? Might be a good idea to suggest he get with other men in recovery from alcoholism.

Remember, you can't sober him up and you can't get him drunk. Best wishes and congrats on 2 years clean!

Of all the things i wanted in early recovery it was space ,to be able to think straight , be on my own for a bit ,time to think ,i really was in shock ,and totally confused ,don't tell him to do anything ,he will do it when he wants to ,good luck

Thanks guys - I'm trying not to ask what's wrong every 5 minutes! He's a very headstrong person with too much pride to go to AA. I guess I'll try & give space and cook good food, and I figured a few back massages because I know when I was withdrawing my body ached.

Have you read "Codependency no More"....?

May help with boundaries. I know that I loved to place blame on others-and if you were willing to absorb my wrath-watch out!

Those with good boundaries are much safer-and more supportive, around us alkis.

It's a great thing coming here and asking this. I very much agree with the not walking on eggshells thing. As a recovered addict (congrats!) you know that your emotions were up and down like crazy for the first little bit, so while your husband may need a bit of space, he will also need emotional support. But it's also important to have boundaries, so that you're not carrying the load for him, emotionally, nor are you sweeping everything under the rug, and blaming it on withdrawal, etc. You will need your own space and place to deal with this new dynamic in both your lives.

I was separated when I started to get sober, so I certainly had space, but knowing that she was there for me was important, even if she wasn't there physically. Keeping lines of honest communication was important and also not playing the blame game.

Good luck!

Pink, as a recovering male alcoholic I can tell you that you need to just not say much. My wife was smart enought to know that if she said anything it would piss me off and make me worse. Offer support and tell him that "other recovering alcoholics can help him do what he could not do alone"

as alcoholics we , by nature, are "too headstrong" but with the help of some other drunks can beat this thing

Good Luck and I will pray he finds his way into a room

1is2

Pink: Congratulations on 2 years - that is huge. Am wishing your husband sobriety - he can do it with you by his side.

Take good care.