Hi Tom and welcome to the group. Quitting the drink was a big decision for me because I had triggers all around me like my drinking buddies who enjoyed relaxing after a hard day at work in a job that was very physically and mentally demanding. Every day after work, we would gather at a friends home for a few beers and some weed. I didn't want to give that up.

In case you are wondering, (A trigger is a negative feeling that creates a craving that causes us to satisfy that craving with alcohol.... It's just a matter of time)

Eventually, I reached a point in my life where my health and my life were falling apart. I had financial problems and my marriage was on the rocks. Then I lost my job where I had made many good friends in the previous 18 years.. Looking back, it was good, in a way because the work related stress was a huge trigger. So I went through detox and then through outpatient treatment. Followed by counseling and AA meetings. That was 11 years. Today I have a great life and I have never been happier.

I remember when I was in group therapy, there was a girl who worked as a bartender. She thought she could stay sober and keep her job at the same time but the counselors told her that was a huge trigger, she wouldn't be able to sustain it but she was convinced that she could. Long story short, I met her again, months later, at an AA meeting and she told me the counselors were right. She couldn't stay sober while doing that job so she quit and got a job as a waitress in a restaurant that did not serve alcohol.

They say that addiction is like being on a being on a one way train ride that's guaranteed to crash at the end of the line. Throughout my life, I have seen alcohol take many lives.....including my parents, and most recently, one of my neighbors.

I think the best gift you could give your child is a sober dad who is mentally present. I grew up in an alcoholic home and as you can see, I drank because my parents drank and it nearly took my life. I could never have broken the cycle without help. It was hard but well worth the effort.

You are welcomed to come here as often as you want. Many people keep a daily journal which I recommend. When I go back and look at my earlier entries, I am amazed at the progress I have made through the years. It pumps me up.

You can also, send out friend requests and make friends and keep in touch, and keep in touch with them. We are all willing to help here so if you have a question, don't be afraid to ask.

God Bless

I'm glad you're here Tom. At some point I realized that I could not go on drinking any longer. Something had to change. I wasn't sure what that was but I knew my life could not continue on for even one more day that way. Looking back on it now, that was a good day and perhaps that's where you are today.

My daughter was 1 yr old and I had been married for a year when things got really bad. I too was so scared of losing them and becoming that deadbeat drunk dude that I had always despised. Frankly though, I'm not sure that alone was enough to get me sober. I really believe it was the realization that I had lost my soul and my spirit to alcohol. I had become a shell of a human being. What a horrific existence!

You can do a few simple things today that will change your life forever. Find an AA meeting. Go to an AA meeting. Don't drink. Go to sleep.

Thank you, great advice. Going to dig deep and not drink!

Just stopping wasn’t enough, for me I had to find a replacement for the booze
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Welcome to the group Tom!

Some good advice already, so I'll keep it short. Your story sounds similar to mine, but with vigilance and support, you can do this! I also found the AA steps a good program to keep me sober and begin the most important work of recovery, that is, to determine and resolve the root causes of my drinking. Today, I'm not only a sober person, but a better one and the man I want to be.

Wishing you success my friend, and please stay in touch!

Acknowledging that you need help is good. Can’t fix a problem when you don’t see a problem. Just admitting this is already changing your thinking. And that’s what it’s all about. Change and growth. Like the others said, as you will yourself to be abstinent allow yourself to enter life again on a new level. One where you find healthy alternatives to occupy your mind. And make yourself WANT sobriety. Not a vague notion but a concrete plan. With goals and everything. As bob mentioned this addiction gets passed on to the next generation. I also am seeking to let it end with me. I hope you can do the same.

Hi Tom. How are you? Please check in with us daily whether you drink or not. There is a ton of sobriety on this site who want to help you get better.