Hello iamheretoo,

Abstinence from alcohol is said to cause some people to feel restless, irritable and discontented. That is why it is suggested that something should be done to tackle the causes.

It will if you don't find an alternative, such as meditation.

PJ so if I’m irritable because I’m not drinking I should just go have a beer? Just kidding.,,

Not many people like us will often have “a beer”.

I often told my wife that “I’m going for a pint” but what I actually intended to do was to have quite a few drinks.

Without AA, I would still be doing that, or maybe pushing up the daisies.

Yep. It has been years since I quit, but I remember feeling angry and pissed off a lot the first month. I was also damn happy that I finally stopped drinking.

Just keep plowing forward.... you'll get through it. Might take a few more weeks. Might take months before you feel totally normal. But it is so worth it.

When I went through an IOP, I was treated for the things that triggered my addiction such as anxiety, depression and ptsd. When the underlying issues were under control, it made abstinence a whole lot easier.

You might want to touch base with your doctor to see if there is anything that can be done for you in the form of counseling and/or medication to help you out during the beginning stages of your sobriety. That's what I would do if I were in your shoes.

God Bless

Hi iamheretoo
When I first stopped I was very irritable too but trust me, keep at it and as your body and mind adjust being off alcohol that irritability will slowly disappear replaced by clarity. I still get cravings for alcohol which sometimes come out as irritability and restlessness but I am much better at controlling it now at 53 days sober. I wish you all the best in your recovery :-)

If you still want to drink it does. Are you irritable because you still believe drinking will make things easier? You might be.

If you start living your life by spiritual principles, such as unselfishness, placing others first, being honest and fair, doing the right things, abandoning manipulation of others to get your way, drinking will no longer seem a solution to the negative actions like selfishness, placing yourself first, lying and stealing, accepting wrong ways, an controlling others permits. When we aren't spiritual, and by spiritual they really mean, Christian, or Biblical, or like Jesus, we fear are doing wrong and will be punished by God, so we drink over it.

That leads me to the question, am I irritable at AA, or recovery, because it is kind of culty? If you look at the history of AA, it is an extension of Christianity. Most people who don't live in the bible belt, and who didn't vote for Trump, have out-grown or see Christianity as out-dated, not to mention the Jesus Character was more of a soldier than a soft little dove the re-writing of that period has described him as, and some even say he was a heavy drinker with a terrible attitude by today's standards. If Jesus were here today, most of this society would have seen him as a disruptive black man or man of color, with an irritating voice, who performed magic, with an ego so bold that the his son of God talk was pure horse shit.

I know this has nothing to do with you being irritable from not drinking, but it does have to do with all things spiritual, and what is this spiritual angle we are struggling against, that always leads us to "to drink or not to drink?"

I have found, contention, over-questioning things, too much analytics, getting hung up on personalities, means of doing business, politics, etc., can block me from the spiritual release I need to curb irritability. I had to find things that made me relax and loose like alcohol used to do, because as an alcoholic, it all comes down to me not drinking because my bodies craves beyond my control. Very simple, if I keep it at that level, and never forget why I do not drink. I simply don't drink, not because I want to get into heaven (and if Trump supporters are going there I'd rather take hell, but I highly doubt they are), but because I have a physical body that sees more alcohol as a solution, so that tells me my body is wrong, or "sinful" which mean off the mark.

The story of Jesus is so powerful because his body ended up defeating the darkness that murdered it. His likening of his body to the bread of life, then in conclusion being resurrected, making it fact it overcame darkness, ignorance, and sin (Jews too stupid to realize he was God's first born) is the point. As an alcoholic, I have to remember my body is dead in regards to alcohol and how it handles alcohol. Moving on to my mind, my mind doesn't want to admit I was given a shitty body in terms of handling alcohol. A great body would say "no more alcohol" to alcohol when it realizes it cannot pump the breaks on more or less alcohol, it always wants more if alcoholic!

My body desires physical things, and when I can't have them I grow irritable, physically. My mind desires usually material things or approval and acceptance from others minds. Both are irrational if I am aiming to place anything other than myself (body and mind) first. Utilizing spiritual principles, and in AA's case principles Jesus Christ suggested we all utilize as objectives, silently quite the needs and desires of both the flawed body and mind, the "off the mark" body and mind we were dealt in the beginning of our lives.

If you're growing increasingly irritated, which will happen if you haven't a rock solid solution or hit a rock bottom as an alcoholic, drinking will only produce more irritability, and sometimes the irritability that comes from submitting to a flawed body and ill mind that beg us to drink when not being spiritual, is so overwhelming we lead ourselves into confinement, the hospital, or even die.

This is not a cumbaya situation, it is honesty life or death, like it or not, but the more we practice being spiritual, and doing Christ like things, the more we are less irritable and the farther away from drinking or once being drinkers we become. It ends up being the perfect gift from a perfect creator!

Thank you everyone who took the time to respond.

I’ve tried to live my life treating others with consideration and kindness. I’ve slipped like I’m sure most people do. I’m not sure why I started drinking. At least I’m not sure why it became a problem. I started having issues with it at the beginning of the end of my marriage. I combined it with sleeping pills. I was miserable. Ending that relationship didn’t solve my problems. It all snowballed. Major depression. Almost lost my job. A string of failed relationships including the most abusive one I’ve had in my life. Thoughts of suicide. I quit because a child in my life asked me to and for my own reasons. It disrupted my sleep. It caused my already existing anxiety issues to skyrocket. Self esteem is in the tank. Not to mention my problems with depression and PTSD. Therapy has not helped and I won’t take antidepressants because of the side effects. Sure, the Valium helped but I relied on it too much and the doctors took it away. Now I just slog through days feeling like I have the Tasmanian devil in my head. I just want to pummel something. It’s all I can do sometimes to not just go postal. I thought alcohol helped with that. It didn’t. It made me feel like shit. It made me feel guilty. It made me insecure. I felt better the first few weeks. Sleeping better and feeling more healthy. Now my anxiety is coming back. Everything and everyone annoys me.

I do not believe in god. Doesn’t make me a bad person. My mom thinks I’m going to go to hell because I don’t believe in god. That’s ludicrous. I respect her beliefs (and those of you who believe in god) I wish she and others would respect mine.

Hello iamheretoo,

If there is such a place as hell, I would guess that there are a lot of people there who believed in God and at the same time, made life miserable for their fellow men.

No, you don’t have to believe in God in order to be a good person. As I see it though, with some members of my own family and others that I know, it is a bit like throwing out the baby with the bath-water, if you know what I mean. Whereas everyone has the right to accept or reject a belief in some sort of supernatural entity, what I have observed in some people today is that a lack of such beliefs tends to leave an emptiness inside. People try to fill that inner void in different ways, including alcohol and drug abuse.

I was brought up to believe in the God of religion and I still hold those beliefs, but I would question a lot of it today. All through the years of drinking and self-torture, I was always looking for something but I had no idea what that ‘something’ was. Turning to God should have solved the problem but the God of religion did nothing for me. That was partly the fault of religion, in that it fails to communicate at a certain level and it was also very much my own fault because I had a closed mind and was not open to change.

It was ironic that when religion and everything else failed to solve the alcohol problem, and I arrived at the last-chance saloon of AA rooms, I found that missing ‘something’ that had eluded me for so long. Through the Twelve Steps, I found a connection with the inner spirit and it was a life-changing experience.

Neither I, your mother nor anyone else has the right to tell you what your beliefs should be. However, a lack of any sort of belief can lead to a feeling of being lost and disconnected. A connection with the inner spirit, conscience or whatever you choose to call it can lead to being at ease with yourself and as a result, the actions and opinions of other people won’t matter so much. The problem for the alcoholic is that through past thinking and deeds, we erect a wall between ourselves and that inner spirit. What I was told and can now confirm, was that we can break down that barrier through a change in our way of thinking.

The question for you now is, are you determined to hold on to your present beliefs or are you open to the possibility that there is another way?

i don’t know

I’m having a really bad mood swing today. Im overwhelmed and I can’t put enough thought into an intelligent response to this so please forgive me.

I had been numbing my feelings with booze for so long, that when I stopped all those feelings came rushing in. One minute I would be happy, the very next trying to break my cookie jar on the kitchen counter. True story. Fortunately I had some new friends in AA to help get me through it all. That could be an option for you too if you like. In the meantime hang in there. When I was going through it, I thought I sobered up just to find out I was crazy, lol.

Boy are you telling my story. I was pissed when I sobered up. I was a rager. Then I would feel guilty. Also my self esteem was lower then a snake's belly. Then, I didn't exactly feel like mother of the year. I bought my kids all kinds of toys, etc to try to make myself feel better.

On 10/16 I celebrated 25 years of sobriety. My husband of 37 yrs & I have 2 shiny new twins thanks to our daughter. Life is good.

In addition to the 12 Steps of AA, I also had to seek out professional help. AA is not a "cure all". I stopped drinking for 2 children. Best decision I ever made.

THose are exposed nerves my friend. That’s you feeling and dealing for the first time.

Embrace it but surround yourself with support.