My good friend who I had my last drink with years ago came into volunteer work Saturday as he has been lately, on my shift. He said "we should have a beer sometime" I said "ok" I don't need to go into sobriety and AA because he wouldn't get it, be supportive, or dig it. What I meant was I don't need to have the beer in order to hang with him, but I know what he's thinking - we used to party together and that's what we did... It brought up a lot. I had a drinking and a sexual dream of him that night where I had to be drunk to go there with him. It brought up so much as far as using the drink to bond and feel ok. I used to have a mad crush on him that sort of dissipated, but the dream and his probable interest in me peaked mine, though he doesn't know I've turned to sobriety. My sobriety is at risk - I am not immune. We kissed once years ago. Anyway it is sort of interesting. I was in a triangle friendship with him and my friend who lives up north - and sure enough the hour I'd thought of calling my friend up north the day after the dream, he'd texted me (after I'd texted him once weeks ago). WOW. What a connection. We're all connected, we're all one. I don't need to worry what people think of me and just trust I am on the path God has for me and I don't have to make a big deal out of not wanting a beer - though it is strange to ponder it as a way to have that "connection".
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