Hey Marian, welcome to the group.

Yes, Alcohol is a symptom of deeper emotional issues, so clearly you know why you drink....you are self medicating your anxiety. The question now becomes, why are you anxious?

That is why alcoholism is listed as a mental health disorder. The idea is to heal the underlying problems and you will have a better chance at staying sober.

I went through outpatient treatment and during my intake, I was asked 3 hours worth of questions so that my counselor could determine what my underlying issues were, and they became a part of my treatment plan. I also had additional group counseling and AA meetings were a part of it as well.

You could talk to your doctor. Maybe you just need anti anxiety medication for a little while or maybe counseling. In the end, it's all up to you on how you want to handle your drinking. Having your doctor on board for your recovery is a very good thing to do. My doctor was the first person to congratulate me. I'll never forget how proud of me she was. She also got me into the IOP here. It helped alot. That was 12 plus years ago. Today I have a great life and I have never been happier.

Maybe your son and daughter in law and grandkids will have a big party for you when you have your one year sober anniversery,... That's what AA does for us. I saw my counselor at my one year party and she invited me back to give a speach to her group. My wife was so proud of me.....

Let us know how you are doing. The path you take on your road to recovery, might help someone else. Many people read these post but are afraid to reply so we hope you come back and keep us posted.

God Bless

Hello!
I personally think the answer of you are or you aren't is deep within you somewhere, but only you can decide! And whatever your answer is, you are not alone! Because of my anxiety, I was medicated with benzodiazepines for 17 years. At one point, I was prescribed 3 mgs of Klonopin daily. Today, I am sober and only take an antidepressant. Becoming sober helped with my anxiety tremendously. I still have a little, but I think you would be surprised with how many people you know also suffer from it. I work, attend school full time, am a wife, mom, and friend, and i can do all of this without self-medicating. I hope you find peace of mind asap.

Wow Bob, thank you! You've given some really in-depth, good advice, some of which I hadn't even thought of - like talking to my doctor about it. I guess there's a sense of shame around drinking that makes me want to keep it a secret, but obviously that's some sick thinking right there, right? I have avoided AA because of their "God" thing - I don't know if I believe, or don't believe, but I don't like the idea of not being in control of my own life.

I really appreciate your response. It made me feel not so alone. Oh, and what is an IOP?

We have many people in my home group of AA that don't believe in God. You just need to believe that there is a power greater then yourself like some energy that is responsible for the universe and the world we live in, for example... We sometimes call that power our coffee pot or anything we want. The only thing we don't call it is our ego because our ego is what got us into this trouble so it sure as hell isn't going to get us out of it.

Nobody has to know you have a drinking problem. AA is anonymous and when I was in the IOP (Intensive Outpatient Program) I was told that the hospitals computers are on their own system and not tied in to the internet so there is no way they can get hacked. This protected my job and allowed me to work my day job since the iop was just a few hours in the evening. Your doctor is also sworn to secrecy for the same reason.

The thing that worked best for me was having an open mind.

Marian,

Have you heard about AVRT, or addictive voice recognition technique? You can find out about it at www,rational.org.

You don’t have to believe you have a disease and are powerless, and you don’t have to hand your will over to God or a group of people,

Choose Freedom, Choose never again

Puckchaser

Thanks Puckchaser, I'll check it out.

Read the naked mind book by Annie Grace. It's an alternative to AA. It heads in the same direction but a different way. After reading it - you will be inclined to give up drink .
I would focus on why you drink. Perhaps a bit lonely? You want a companion?

Thanks to Puckchaser, who recommended www,rational.org, the Addictive Voice Recognition technique. This really rang the bell for me. I like that I am in control, and I get to choose to never drink again. Yes, I felt my "lizard brain" or "booze brain" recoil from that choice, and start making excuses, but recognizing that voice is the key. And yes I've had anxious feelings since then, and I've sat in them, and felt them, and ultimately was not overwhelmed by them.

So now, what I'm realizing is just HOW MUCH TIME I spent sitting around, drinking, feeling bad about drinking, trying to figure out why I was drinking, how to get my next drink, etc. In the past few days, I have picked all the apricots on our tree, made jam and salsa, cleaned my house from top to bottom, made a cake, and done my TAXES! Luckily I have a hobby that takes up a lot of time (sewing), or I'd be in trouble. :) Anyway - this site has helped, and I want to thank each of you who replied. Feeling GOOD!

That’s great that you found some perspective. I like to be busy with my hobbies too. Gardening, vehicle maintenance, walking and reading.
I know what you mean about the wasted time (and effort) the drinking consumed. I have been reminded of that as I stopped drinking coffee a few months ago. Just waking up and getting my day going without ‘needing’ a cup first is amazing. Also driving by Starbucks, saving a few dollars and 15 minutes is nice.
Weird how we don’t see the behavior until we’ve changed.

Yes - it seems our ability to justify any behavior is unlimited. I am not yet ready to give up coffee though! :)